rayj629

This may have crossed your mind, but your wife might consider therapy. It can be quite effective in heightening self-awareness and breaking negative patterns. While I've not had counseling for the same issues with which your wife struggles, it has helped me immensely. Just a thought.

Happy Wife

You have an advantage in the fact that you know she has PCOS. I was not so lucky. I have been steadily gaining weight and slipping farther into depression year after year. I was finally diagnosed with PCOS after ttc for almost 2 years with no success (I'm 35) My depression and anxiety got so bad this year my marriage of 11 years began to fall appart and I even attempted suicide! I was seeing a counselor and on anti-depressants at the time that did nothing for me because they were trying to treat the symptoms not the cause. While in the hospital I was put on another medication for anxiety (my bp was 225/150) which made me feel drunk but did nothing for the anxiety. Two and a half months after getting out of the hospital I was diagnosed with PCOS and put on metformin. I feel amazing. I have lost 10 pounds, my acne has cleared up, my facial hair has thinned/slowed. My depression is al but gone and my axiety no longer controls my life. My husband and I are now closer than we have been in years (he is even taking me dancing tonight which I don't think we've done since we got married) I only wish I would have been diagnosed and treated sooner. The best part is my doctor is very optomistic that we will be pregnant with our first very soon because I am responding so well to treatment!

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MrTW

wow. just shows how devastating pcos can be if left undiagnosed.

texasgirl115

Hey...I just read just about the whole threat...there are a few things I would like to contribute. First of all, I am one of those crazy women who gets mad when my boyfriend tells me things about losing weight *embarrassed*. I think you're doing the right thing however. I have to say my boyfriend is quite encouraging about weight loss, and never makes me feel unattractive. As far as my weight goes, the worst he has told me is one time after not seeing each other for awhile, I knew I had gained some weight, and I asked him if he could tell and he hesitantly said yes. What he is concerned about is usually my health. The thing he does that is NOT helpful, is when I'm motivated about something, he tends to doubt it, thinking that he has a better solution. This is particularly frustrating because it only reflects how he has been able to lose weight, which I know was a lot more easy for him than it is for me. (All he did was play basketball and eat cereal for dinner and he lost like 20 pounds in a month). So, the moral of that story is, if she's excited about something, its best to get on board, because its a lot easier than deflating her and then getting her re-excited about a different plan. As long as it sounds reasonably healthy and its a positive step, its great!

I also should mention I think its great that you're so supportive! Another thing that some people have mentioned is that if she has excess hair (especially facial hair) even if she removes it, you cannot underestimate the effect it has on her motivation to do things, as well as depression and anxiety. Its really, really awful, and is always on your mind in social situations. Thinking outside the box, if you have the extra money, consider getting her laser treatments for the excess hair (again - especially facial hair). I plan on doing this for myself as soon as my hormones are under control and I have the money, and I can't wait for the day when I can go about my business knowing I have nice, smooth skin on my face! Just a thought...

Another thing I wanted to mention, is that if she has some terrible habit like drinking sodas regularly (I used to have 3-5 Dr. Pepper's a day!), consider limiting that food/drink to one day of the week. I now have a Dr. Pepper on Fridays, which I call Dr. Pepper Fridays! Its sort of silly but its really nice to treat myself at the end of the week. Also, they taste SO much better now that I only have one a week (and quit them entirely for a month before going to that plan). As for healthy eating, focus on small changes; they can really make a difference. I am on Metformin, which helps, but the only changes I have made have been to eat only whole grains (5+ grams of fiber per serving) while at home (except for macaroni and cheese, which is my new weakness, but I measure my portions carefully, only preparing a small amount), and limiting my sweets and sodas. When I eat out, I do try to follow the rule of choosing something healthy, or not eating a lot, so that even when I have unhealthy foods that I really like, its in smaller amounts. I suppose it is a little harder for you to communicate this to your wife, but you could agree to only eat a whole grains at home or something, and then that's all you have in the house. Its really just a great lifestyle habit for the whole family, and it would be great to get your son to like these foods. I'm sure you don't have the selection we have in the US, but I'm also sure there are some whole grain choices in Mexico. I'm more familiar with Monterrey, which has a lot of options, but hopefully there's something good available in Oaxaca. I feel your pain though, because even in Monterrey I am often frustrated by the lack of products I'm used to, and I haven't even lived there (just visit a lot and for long periods of time - my boyfriend lives there).

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck, and hope you come back to the thread soon!

Kit_fox