Unsuccessful TTC: grief, anger, anxiety 2009

SandV · 01-07-2009, 09:53 AM

This is continuation of a thread that was started in 2008. Many of us have been TTC for some time with difficulties in many areas.
Here is a link to the other thread.

Unsuccessful TTC: grief, anger, anxiety

SandV · 01-07-2009, 09:57 AM

UGH!!! I cannot believe this...

I was just talking to a friend in the USA. He was telling me that an old friend of ours who just turned 25 is 6 wks pregnant. She decided to do an IUI to have a child at the age of 25. She has decided in the last year or so that she is a lesbian. That is not a problem. The problem is, now she wants a child, so she went to a clinic for a sperm donated IUI.
This is a woman who at 16 had twins and gave them up because she never wanted to be a mother. Her SO wants them to have children, so she agreed to carry them. She still is not sure she can be the motherly type, but will "try" for this woman.

UGH!!!!!!!!

meggowiggle · 01-07-2009, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandV

UGH!!! I cannot believe this...

I was just talking to a friend in the USA. He was telling me that an old friend of ours who just turned 25 is 6 wks pregnant. She decided to do an IUI to have a child at the age of 25. She has decided in the last year or so that she is a lesbian. That is not a problem. The problem is, now she wants a child, so she went to a clinic for a sperm donated IUI.
This is a woman who at 16 had twins and gave them up because she never wanted to be a mother. Her SO wants them to have children, so she agreed to carry them. She still is not sure she can be the motherly type, but will "try" for this woman.

UGH!!!!!!!!

Oh gosh!!!!!!! I love how motherhood is as casual and pedestrian as throwing away a coffee cup. When most of us on this board would kill to even smell what is in that cup.

SandV · 01-07-2009, 10:33 AM

I know. It just boils my oil to hear these stories. I have heard of 3 people in my life that are now pregnant with in the last week. Not including those on here. Those on here I am happy about! Two of the other 3 make me want to cry.
I know I can do it again, but just need to try to be patient.

becciliz · 01-13-2009, 01:14 PM

i hate feeling so envious of people. walking down the street, pregnant moms, new babies, toddlers, kids that are of an age of lost babes....its just heartbreaking. im finding it hard to leave the house some days with this going on. Now a close friend decided i was the one to confide in about the fact she was going to have an abortion because her and her bf just split up and she 'can't be bothered to carry his kid any more'.

FFS!!!!
*screams*

SandV · 01-13-2009, 01:37 PM

OMG... I am so sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. I do not think women always realize how things may change in the future for them.

MicheleT422 · 01-19-2009, 04:30 PM

I'm so incredibly grateful to have found this place - y'all are the only ones who understand. I've been through hell trying to have just one baby, and now it seems that all I hear about are friends who are also pregnant and all I see while DH & I are out are brand-new babies and pregnant bellies. My sister is in touch with an old friend who told my sis she feels guilty when she talks to me because her son was born the day after mine were stillborn, and other pregnant friends avoid me altogether.

I know that miscarriages and stillbirth are painful subjects - I've been pregnant 4 times with no children to show for our prayers and pain. I miss my twins, and I will second-guess every decision I made in the days leading up to that loss. I don't know how I'm going to cope with the disappointment that comes with failed injection cycles, and can't even imagine how I'll feel if something happens during the next pregnancy. I don't know what lesson I was supposed to learn by having to bury my children. I wish we had answers to all our questions, and I surely wish that PCOS was a bad dream I could just wake up from. But like my mom always said, "if wishes were fishes every day would be Friday" (can you tell she's Catholic).

Thanks for having this thread - nobody ever talks about the negative feelings that can overwhelm real life.

SandV · 01-19-2009, 04:35 PM

I am soo sorry to hear what you are going through. It is very difficult to work through loss of a child. I know how difficult it can be to see people pregnant or hear about friends that are pregnant.
I too recently found out several young girls (19 or so) with no steady boyfriend that are pregnant. DH and I have full custody of his son because the bio mother was too young to know how to take care of the child.

I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you can find a way to heal and that God grants your prayers.

On another note, where in NJ are you? I was raised outside of Freehold.

becciliz · 01-20-2009, 08:52 PM

feeling like i can't even go out at the moment, think it'd make life easier to become a recluse.
went to the coffee house yesterday- of course not for a coffee, but just to socialise.....
post natal group was there . 7+ new babies, all in one place. could have cried. i don't want to feel like this but i do. its so frustrating.
i'm so happy for these new parents, and their beautiful babies, but i just.....ye

Verajx · 01-20-2009, 11:42 PM

What gets me is that I can push it all in the back of my mind, then I see little shoes, or a pregnant women and then I am running to a safe place in my mind.

Children are a gift and planned or not are given to you for a reason.

SandV · 01-30-2009, 10:19 AM

I am sitting here waiting for my dr appointment later today. It is a new dr. I am scared that she will not understand PCOS, that she will not be able to help conceive a child naturally with my one tube. DH doesn't understand why I get so upset with the situation but he already has fathered a child (or two). We have custody of his son. Yes I love being DSS's mother, but I want to feel a baby grown inside me, I want to experience child birth. I am getting very old now (soon to be 38) hoping that today she doesn't tell me forget about it.
Why do people who are not ready for children -like DSS's bio mother - get to have them?

MicheleT422 · 01-30-2009, 08:40 PM

Oh, I wish I could ship my RE and his office down to you (of course, I'm sure they'd love to get out of a Jersey winter). While I don't like having to go to a specialist to get pregnant, he and his staff are outstanding and it seems like Dr. M's seen it all before. I hope your new doc has the education and wisdom to truly understand how you're feeling and can get you where you want to be. I know some way, some how, you WILL get to feel those little wiggles and kicks and bring your own miracle into the world. I have to believe that when a woman wants to be a mother as much as we do, that our patience is rewarded (and feel free to whap me on the nose with a newspaper for saying that, because I'm probably one of the most impatient people you'll ever meet!),

*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*

Novgirl · 02-27-2009, 03:20 PM

I can relate to not wanting to leave the house. Most days I wish I could just stay home with my dogs and avoid the whole world... If it were up to me I would.
I come to work almost every day and have to talk myself out of leaving early.

I hate this feeling and I don't know how it's ever going to go away.

dollface1982 · 02-27-2009, 04:55 PM

Hello everyone, I came across this thread and decided to keep reading because I have so much built up frustration. I think I am losing it. Everyone is having babies. What's worse is when you see these little 12 & 13 year old girls who are pregnant or already mothers. I am like "I am 26 and still can't have a child"!! Grrr!!! It is so hard to accept the fact that we have to go through so much just to have our own little miracle. No one outside of pcos seems to understand what we go through. Then you have those who always ask "when are you going to have a baby"? All I can do is say... "in due time". When deep inside i'm saying "if that time will ever come"!! How heartbreaking is this!! I hate to keep rambling on but I am so disturbed by all of this and I am Sick of it!!! I just need to pray a little harder. I hope you ladies are feeling better than I am.

sigkap · 04-08-2009, 09:51 PM

This is the first day in about a string of 10 that I haven't broken down in tears. It's small, but it seems like a victory. I just feel so hopeless right now. I have a BEAUTIFUL 3 y/o and I have such extreme feelings of guilt for being so emotional over ttc #2. I feel like when I get upset it's like I'm ungrateful for the miracle we were given. I feel extra stress wondering how far apart our children will be (or if there will even BE childREN). Obviously we'll celebrate a baby whenever, but those dreams of having little ones grow up together seem too far away to ever be a reality. I feel that although I am finally getting my emotions in check from the last failed cycle that the next disappointment is just a few weeks away. The ttc forum is nice and I love the buddy threads but for extra emotional stuff like this, I think this board is a great idea.