Unsuccessful TTC: grief, anger, anxiety - Page 2

SandV · 07-03-2008, 11:46 AM

Angie, I am sorry to hear how bad you are feeling. I know myself it is very rough at times. Especially since I work in an office with 200 women. Imagine as I returned to work in the last few weeks, I found out that 4 women I work with are pregnant. All due about the same time I would have been.

I agree with taking time to get myself together. At first, I was upset that my dr would not do my HSG right away. Now I can see the difficulties DH and I are having as I am still in the healing process. He doesn't understand why I get angry or cry.

Sorry for my rant.

alleluia5 · 07-05-2008, 12:19 AM

Hi all - just joining the thread - been TTC for 9 years, 3 seriously. Really got tired of pumping my body full of meds and the rollercoaster it put me on. Now just trying to get healthier and see where God takes it from there. Most days I do okay with that but then there are the days when someone I know announces they are pregnant or like this month, someone has a baby and sends pictures- those are the hardest times. Even worse, is when I see the look in hubby's eye when he holds someone else's baby or sees a newborn. Sigh - oh well, onward we go

PennyLane · 07-07-2008, 07:49 PM

So I just found out that my bratty little sister in law is pregnant again! Ugh. I swear in my husband's family there is ALWAYS a new baby or pregnant person. I really don't think I can handle this anymore. I am by far the oldest and it is killing me to watch. I wish I could move to another state. (I live in Utah where everyone has about 17 children each).
Sorry to be all about my own sadness. I'm really just in a funk...

Does anyone here see a counselor? I'm thinking about it, but don't know. It's either that or start smoking. I smoked about 10 years ago and was incredibly happy back then. I'm thinking it was the cigarettes.

Hope you all are well. Anyone doing anything fun this summer?

SandV · 07-07-2008, 08:04 PM

Angie - Sorry that your sister in law is pregnant agian. I know how hard it can be. I work in an office with about 200 woman. At any given time there are between 5-10 pregnant.

I have thought about seeing a counselor as well. I saw one years ago when I got divorced. Now, I realize that when I am sad/upset I just need to cry and let it out. I wish I could offer you more support or advice, but I wish you all the best.

PennyLane · 07-07-2008, 08:35 PM

SandV- thank you for you kindness.
I really am sorry that everyone here is feeling the same way, but there is comfort that we are not alone. Someone who truly understands is something I do not have in the real world. And I feel isolated from my hubby, he gets so upset when I am sad. He really is wonderful, sometimes I feel almost greedy for wanting a baby, when I already have so much more than a lot of people.

I went to lunch with my sister and went shopping in Park City this morning. It was pretty fun and helped get my mind off of my funk. Now if I only had enough money to shop everyday!

Is anyone here on some form of a low carb diet? I need a good kick in the butt!

SandV · 07-07-2008, 09:22 PM

I do not use a low carb diet. I have added veggies and refined my carbs to seldom eat bread or flour products.
Breakfast: I usually eat a multigrain cereal with almonds, egg with slice of wheat bread (that is when I want to treat myself), or cottage cheese with fruit.
Lunch: My biggest meal of the day. I eat a portion of meat, carb, beans/lentils, veggies.
Dinner: My lighest meal of the day. I will eat some homemade soup or meat and veggies.

Since I started Yasmin, my weight loss has slowed down. I only lost 1 lb per week the last 2 weeks. I had been at about 2 lbs per week prior to the Yasmin.

Hope that helps.

alleluia5 · 07-08-2008, 11:48 PM

Angie - just wanted to say I am thinking of you as well - it is so hard to be "different." I still don't even begin to understand "why me"

SandV · 07-09-2008, 02:47 PM

Alleluia - I have struggled with the "why me" thoughts from time to time. Most recently, it has been that way since I could not carry my baby to term. As Angie said, although it is sad we all have these feelings - we do have each other for comfort.

Angie - I hope you had a chance to look at my sample. I used to follow Body for Life. You can look at that program at www.bodyforlife.com. It is not low carb but does help you change eating habits for the better.

PennyLane · 07-09-2008, 05:50 PM

I feel bad that I came to this thread and just whined! Today I am feeling much better, woke up early and ran on the treadmill for a while. I think I need to stay really busy or I start to feel more depressed. I also think I need to figure out my eating habits. It is terrible because I can't really eat very much meat and eggs freak me out. I wish I could benefit from an ALL carb diet! Thanks for the link, SandV! And thanks for thinking of me, alleluia5! I hope everyone here is doing well.

I am going to make jam now. I don't know why, but I really enjoy canning. My husband thinks I was born in the wrong generation, I like a lot of "old-fashioned" things.

Have a great day! I'll be in the kitchen with all of my apricots and raspberries. Mmmmm.

SandV · 07-09-2008, 08:06 PM

Angie - Have a great time canning. I truly enjoy cooking and baking, as well as gardening. I go through phases in which I want to make huge meals - then I don't really want to eat. LOL!

PennyLane · 07-11-2008, 10:21 PM

Jam is done! I love all things domestic, I even love cleaning. My nephew told me once, "You might not have any babies but you have the cleanest house I've ever met!" It was kind of funny.
How is everyone? I feel like I've monopolized this thread. I hope everyone is well. Any fun plans for the weekend? I am going to Park City again tomorrow and babysitting for a friend tomorrow overnight. This should be interesting.

alleluia5 · 07-14-2008, 02:34 PM

Hi all - well its a Monday!

Of course had to start the day off with pictures of 2 girls new babies - happy for them, sad for me. Sigh.

Anyways enough of that! It is soooo hot here - I am really hoping we get some rain soon! If you have any, send it my way. So anyone got good vacation plans coming up?

SandV · 07-14-2008, 03:08 PM

Alleluia - I could send you the rain we get. It is the rainy season here. Although, we have been lucky in having the rain overnight instead of during the day. I would fear by the time the rain would get to you, it would have developed into a tropical storm or hurricane.

Sorry you had to see those pictures. I am happy for anyone who has a beautiful child, but it hurts me worse and worse as well.

alleluia5 · 07-14-2008, 05:06 PM

LOL- yeah no hurricanes please - we had our share of tornado warnings this spring - I am fine with gentle rain for now.

alwayzrn · 07-14-2008, 05:26 PM

Hello Ladies, I would like to join this thread. If you notice my siggie I have had two still born baby boys in the last 7 months. My last son was born 7/03/08 and I had a placenta previa while I was being induced to have him (he had already passed away). I had to have an emergency c-section with a classic cut up and down incision. Right now I have had two babies who's heart just stopped beating in-utero and we don't know why. I am too scared to TTC again because I dont want to have to go through another classic c-section to deliver a still born baby. SO I am starting birth control pills today. I have no idea what is planned for me in the future, but right now no TTC!

Hope that we can give each other strength during whatever phase we are in our lives!!

Adrianne