Lately, there's been some interest in a buddy thread for cysters who are having a very tough time dealing with their feelings about TTC. Some cysters are still TTC, and some have decided to stop, but I think it's safe to say that we all definitely have experiences with feelings of sorrow, rage, depression, envy, and panic. Online support for our situations would be great.
I'm not sure where this thread should be located (not the TTC thread, since some cysters are not TTC anymore), so I thought this board might make the most sense, since there is often a link between PCOS and depression, anyway.
You're welcome to join us.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Severe male factor and borderline PCOS.
IVF/ICSI/AH #2
Baby is cooking...
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We will continue to TTC in a few months once I have the HSG completed. I agree it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It has been difficult for me as well.
I think the hardest part was being PG and not being able to carry the child.
Do you do anything special to help get over the hard times?
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DSS 5/30/04 (always will be mine)
I'm sorry to hear about your ectopic.
I try to find different activities to cope with how I feel. I write, shop, do nice things for other people, read, and go to the gym. Yesterday, cooking helped me, although I normally hate doing that. lol Being with my nieces and nephews helps, but also hurts at the same time.
I wish I had cats - that would be very beneficial for me, but dh hates them, and I'm allergic to them in the summer.
How about you?
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Severe male factor and borderline PCOS.
IVF/ICSI/AH #2
Baby is cooking...
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Usually when I am at work, I can keep my mind occupied. But this week has been really hard on me. I think between AF coming and the fact it was 8 weeks, it has made me think too much.
I have decided to try and increase PCOS awareness around the island. That has helped me most days - I feel like I am helping others. Also, I have DSS to take care of which usually brings me joy.
I love to cook, but I am so tired when I get home it makes it hard. That is usually what I do on the weekends. I will try to go to the beach and cook a large meal.
We have birds - 2 parakeets and 2 St Lucian red throated finches. The later of the two DH actually caught himself. I am also allergic to cats and DH doesn't like them.
I have been riding my exercise bike in the mornings, which does seem to help also. I am trying to lose weight before I go for my HSG. I know I will not be at my target goal by then, but if I can lose another 15 lbs by then, I will be happy.
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DSS 5/30/04 (always will be mine)
Lately, there's been some interest in a buddy thread for cysters who are having a very tough time dealing with their feelings about TTC.
Amen to that!
It's frustrating to hear about people who aren't trying to have a child, can't support a child, and don't want a child, but are getting pregnant at the drop of the pants. Not to mention the family, friends, and random strangers (WTF!?) asking when you're planning on having kids - I was planning on having a kid six months ago - it's not that easy for everyone! It makes you feel pregtarded! Grr!
Thanks for starting this thread. I have been going through the grieving process ever since my last (final) Repro. Endo appt. No children for me, no IVF
That's it - it's over for me. I went to the appt for my DH, he wanted me to go and now feels bad that I it is hurting me so much. I feel like I have no one IRL that understands. So I cry and cry, have headaches, sleep all the time. I feel like giving up, but know that I cannot for my husband. I just want to feel better without any false hope.
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Sarah(39) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Tim(39) Married 03/21/03
Sarah, I am sorry to hear you are going through so much pain. It is so hard when you TTC and nothing happens.
I know I have cried and cried over 15 years of not conceiving. Then, when I finally conceive I cannot keep it. It is so hard - and it truly feels as if no one else would ever understand. Thank goodness for you cysters. It makes it a little easier.
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DSS 5/30/04 (always will be mine)
This week I felt blah. Like I was missing something... Or like a part of me just isn't were it should be. I was trying to describe it to my 2 friends on the island and they are telliing me to stop thinking about the loss. I can honestly tell you it wasnt from our loss I had this feeling. I am tired of not feeling happy. By nature, I am a pretty happy and easy going person. These days I just feel BLAH!!!
Does anyone else feel that way?
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DSS 5/30/04 (always will be mine)
I know all too well what everyone is feeling, sometimes the anger, grief and anxiety is so much that I feel like I don't even know myself. Sometimes I feel so far removed from who I ever was. I feel like a failure sometimes as a women and a wife. I started reading this book by 3 women ( sorry, can't remember the name right off) and in the book it finally describes how I'm feeling - I'm burnt out fertility-wise. I need a break. I have had 3 fresh ivf cycles and 4 frozen cycles all without being diagnosed with anything other than a thyroid issue. It has been suggested that I "might" have pcos, I "might" have endo. but no one wants to do anything other than ivf and expensive blood tests for immune issues.
anyway, sorry for the rant! My point was that in this book I've been reading they discuss a lot of feelings we all have and how to deal with them. A lot of Yoga is mentioned and some diet modifications. The part where they discuss emotions and some tricks to deal with the tough ones have really helped. The class the women put together is called "Pulling Down the Moon." I'll look book tonight and post the title tomorrow. I can't believe I forgot it!!
The name of the book is "Fully Fertile." It contains yoga, meditation, diet and accupuncture. I don't do a lot of meditation, and I'm not too into accupuncture, but if you are ttc and feel really frustrated there are a few chapters in there that can really bring you some peace.
Tomorrow I go to see a new Endocrinologist. Not an Reproductive anymore. I am doing a little better. I don't everyday like I was, but sometimes I will cry, like to my momma or alone. It is not fair and I was never promised a child. I just thought it would happen like it does for some of my other cysters. I want to see what shape I am in. I know I am a endo wreck as other docs have called me but he cannot tell me something I already know. I would like to keep this thread going.
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Sarah(39) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Tim(39) Married 03/21/03
May I join?
I am currently on a break, trying to get my body in better shape. Saw an Endo, and was put on Byetta. I have lost 17 pounds in the past two months, so that has made things a bit easier. We will probably sink everything we own into a Shared Risk IVF plan in a few months if I can get healthier. It is so depressing right now. I am a teacher and am off for the Summer. I feel like I'm just useless right now. I slept until 10:30 this morning.
I'm sorry that I am not the only one dealing with this. I have been married 14 years, and just assumed it would happen if it was meant to be.
I'm taking some time of myself, the steroids and all the other IVF drugs kind of set me back a little in weight and exercise. Besides, I feel a little burnt out. I was starting to think about having a baby so obsessively! I need to take this summer to relax and work on myself emotionally and physically. One of the questions I have for myself is if my DH had the fertility problem, I would never think of him as "responsible" for us being childless, so why do I think like that about myself? I know it's not my fault, I know I'm not responsible, but it is me! I'm the one with the uncooperative body right now!! My DH is nothing but supportive and happy with our life whichever way it goes so why can't I be?
Unsuccessful TTC: grief, anger, anxiety 
May I ask if you are still TTC, or if you're done? 
