mischka

Well, immediately after the second round of Cytotec to dislodge whatever debris had remained stuck in there, I developed a high fever and ended up being hospitalized the next day.

I was put on high doses of antibiotics for 18hrs and had a D&C the next morning, then kept in observation for another night. Apparently I had a serious infection and had come close to developing sepsis.

Just came home today to a less than compassionate partner whose offhand reaction to this whole experience just horrified me, and I feel like crawling under the nearest rock and staying there. I just feel like this miscarriage has put everything into question, my future fertility, my relationship, whether we will actually decide to try again. I am struggling here, no idea how to handle it but I need to do something about it soon.

Is this baby blues, post partum depression? Or am I just feeling sorry for myself? Has anyone experienced this too? How did you deal with it?

Thank you.

Keleigh

Oh no! What a horrible experience you're having. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of this - health problems on top of a miscarriage. I'm so glad you're ok now, though.

Sweetie, after a miscarriage, it's normal to be depressed. Plus you've got crazy hormones going nuts in your body on top of terror at the infection that could have killed you.

Your partner's unimpressive reaction may be because he's grieving in his own way. To admit you almost died might be too much for him to bear or may put fear in him to try again. Add that to grief over loss of the baby. Sometimes men cope with emotions by simply shutting down. Remember that everyone thinks about the woman who lost the baby and the partner gets left out. Or he could just be an ass.

Be kind to yourself. Find someone that you can talk to about all of this. It can be a good friend with a great shoulder, or it could be your cysters here. Either way, you need to vent all the gory details and let out all the hopes and dreams you had for this child and your future. I"m so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much, but I promise it'll get better. You'll never forget and you'll continue to have flashes of sorrow, but the days will get easier.

{{{ HUGS }}}

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Fleegle4

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I had been wondering how you were doing, and I'm glad to hear that it's finally over for you. Your unusual reactions are not unusual. You are going to be very hormonal in the next couple of weeks. Mine manifested itself in crying, and not simply over the grief, and anger. I snapped out at everyone. I felt like the world had caved in on me. In about two weeks, I was better. I've still got my problems, but they seem like normal blues, not out of control ones.

About your partner -- it's very hard to tell what's going on. Men do react differently than we do. It wasn't their bodies, and they often have a hard time visualizing the enormity of a child until they see something. When I was having my miscarriage, at one point I asked the baby's father what he needed or didn't, as this experience was happening to him too. He said that to him, the baby was an abstraction, especially now that it was gone, but that he was desperately worried about me and my health and wanted me to take whatever steps I needed to make sure I was okay. I understood what he meant, but I could have taken it the wrong way and misread his behaviors.

Questioning everything is common as well. Having a child is probably the biggest thing that happens to any of us, and having that snatched away suddenly is traumatic and causes us to examine things that perhaps we'd buried.

It's okay to feel sorry for yourself for a bit. Just don't let it eat you alive. Rest and take care of yourself.

SheriKCMO

(((Hugs))) I'm sorry this has been such a terrible time for you, and I'm sorry for your loss.

I would just rest and grieve and keep life as simple as possible for a week or so, and then try to talk to your partner about everything. It might become clear that you should wait on TTC with him until he is more invested, or it might be clear that he is hurting a lot too. Whatever happens with him, you should try to be around people who are supportive and comforting, be gentle with yourself.

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Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs

First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.

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Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks

Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w

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Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
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mischka

Thanks everyone for your support and concern. I had a talk with my partner and things are much better now. Healthwise, I am better healthwise also, finishing my course of antibiotics today and hopefully things will fall back into place and heal properly.

Thanks again for putting up with my ranting!