I feel so cr*p at the moment. I have been taking Clomid 100mg for my last 3 cycles. 10 days ago I had several positive hpt's and both my brothers partner and my best friend agreed they were positive... yet the G.P did one and said it was negative.
2 days later I started bleeding and have been ever since. The pain has been unbearable and i'm still in bed now feeling physicaly and mentally drained, I also feel really depressed.
Its the 1st time ever a HPT has shown any kind of positive line, so I didnt know and still dont know how to feel about it all - how can 8 tests be positive and the dr's be negative and then I get AF.
I feel that I am being tormented with by my own body.... after all having PCOS isnt enough is it!
What makes it worse is that both my brothers partner and my sister are pregnant at the moment, of course i'm very happy for them. They already have 6 kids between them so that makes these babies no.7 and no.8 respectively - I just feel like im not worthy of having a baby, I only want 1 to love and cherish.
I feel so alone and messed up! I just dont know if I can go on like this.
First of all sending you i know exactly how horrible and emotionally draining it is desperately wanting to be a mum while those around you are getting pregnant aparently effortlessly.
Re the positive HPT i have no personal experience but i had a friend (who doesn't have PCOS) who had the same as you. I was with her while she done two tests and both had very distinct positive lines. The one she put into the Dr was negitave and she started bleeding a day later. The Dr said it was a very early miscarriage and if she hadn't have done the tests she would never have known.
I would say if you can look at the positive, your body is trying very hard to get pregnant. Wishing you luck for a sticky in the future.
Rant away, it's what we are here for x
__________________ Me 36 DH40, TTC since Sept 02
DH has two daughters from prev marriage and his swimmers are fine.
Finally diagnosed PCOS Jan '05, perscribed 1500mg metformin
BFP 9 June 09, methotrexate for ectopic pregnancy 10 July 09
HCG levels 24 June - 132 9 July - 1179 26 June - 211 14 July - 933 28 June - 286 17 July - 673 1 July - 476 24 July - 118 5 July - 794 31 July - 13 7 July - 954
Briggy is totally correct. Some of the dr pregnancy tests usually test for a higher HCG level than a HPT. I had the same at the hospital when I had an ectopic pg. You don't get false positive only false negatives, unles you are taking thr HCG hormone.
I would say you had an early miscarriage and like briggy said at least you know that you body will physically allow you to get pg, so although you are feeling really low at the moment and i completely know what you are going through, stay positive and keep trying.
I understand how you are feeling cos when i had my first m/c both my SIL and my best friend were pg, my SIL was 2 weeks behind me, but look at me now, waiting for my little ray of sunshine to show up
Caz xxxx
__________________
Name Carrie, married to Steven for 3 years, Age: 31
DS Dylan born 10/06/07
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sweetheart firstly welcome and huge mega huggles to you, having had an m/c in the last 12 months while at the same time having an m/c I totally understand what your going through, I would go back to the dr and demand a blood test to confirm either way wether you are m/c ing hun if you are you may need treatment or help. secondly alot of ladies do bleed early on in pg without it being little bean so there may be hope at the time I lost little star we found out not long after that my dear sil was pg she m/c not long after I did but since then within 14 months sil has successfully had a new bean and as you can see mine is on the way , it is very hard and in no way am I trying to pain you futher but merlin forbid if you are m/cing then dont worry it can still happen I know its not very comforting to hear that but if your body is trying so hard to cooperate it will happen for you. Also dr tests can be wrong mine were with DD they said I wasnt yet 2 weeks later I was 8 weeks it depends how sensative their tests are hun.
I wish you all the luck in the world and huge huggles
Claire XX
__________________ Me Claire DH Tony
Katie-May 27499
Little Star in heaven 6306
Jack Born safe and well 24907
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Upset, confused and don't know where to turn 
sorry you are feeling so unwell right now. Can you see your dr again?? 
i know exactly how horrible and emotionally draining it is desperately wanting to be a mum while those around you are getting pregnant aparently effortlessly.
