Upsetting Day

jen-duck · 07-04-2003, 04:16 PM

Yesterday we had to put our 12 year old Husky dog to sleep.

Then we found out that our facilator NEVER filed our POA.
So, now we might LOSE Joel. In the last few days- it's been a rollercoaster- there was an announement on the first of July that the Guatemalian adoptions wouldn't be suspended- WONDERFUL- then a few days later we find out- that new regulations- like a 15 day stay (which we are totally understanding- and wouldn't have minded! at all!) and a new psychological evaluation has to been done on the adopted parents (again- we're fine with that too) and the Post March 5- June 30th cases were to be processed with no real major problems. but any case July 1st on- they're not sure about- their government is wanting to take all the children and put them in only registarted orphanges (no foster care or hogar) and their governement (central authority) would assign the children. So peoples worst fears are they will take the referrals away and reassign them.

We thought we were safe- but we wanted to know the exact date when we went into Family Court- and our agency couldnt' tell us- the main person was in Guatemala working with all their facilators etc... and we got a call saying that our facilator told her- that he never received the POA- we actaully did TWO of them- may 8th- and then the agecny had made a mistake and didn't put his first name on it- so she had us do it again- and on May 16th- we had our notary do another one- using May 8th's date- so there wasn't any delay- and we thought it was taken care off-

THe low blow is that we JUST visited JOEL 2 weeks ago for 6 days. and when we broght him back to the hogar- the person that runs it- is our facilator's SISTER and MOTHER- and they even told us he was in family court- and they thought we would be back in 2 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so everyone was telling us he was in FAMILY COURT and he wasn't???????

WE ARE SO HOPING HE HAD A MIXUP of children- and that we're in the process- but won't find out now because today's a HOLIDAY until MONDAY- when the main person comes back-

WHAT CAN WE DO???????? I don't want to remember losing my son and dog in the same day.... I can't handle this- at all- this is pure torture- why is this happening- all I ever wanted to be was a mommy- and first- I can't have my own- then adoption is just tearing my heart- ups and downs- I can't turn my back on Joel-

we called the hogar last night- as they said we could do because the night person speaks english- well- no that wasn't the case last night- but luckily someone was there that spoke a little english- and we wanted her to leave a message for the facilator sister- and ask her how's Joel doing- and where we are in the system- we didn't mention what we know- as to not step on anyone's toes- (YET) and them told her to give him a hug and kiss for us- (HOPEFULLY SHE DID)

What can we do? besides cry and wait...

Jennifer

Magz7795 · 07-04-2003, 04:38 PM

I don't have any answers to what your next step should be. I've never been through the process. I just wanted to send you hugs and hope that everything is just a little confused. I've read your posts about Joel and I know how much the little guy means to you already. Know you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Maggie

ScrapbookChick · 07-04-2003, 07:43 PM

(((Jen-Duck)))

I'm so sorry about your dog. When pets are your first babies, they are truly family.

I've been watching the Guatemala situation from afar on the one list I'm still on (my agency's) with prayers for all the waiting families. I wish I could give you some answers or new information.

I know this is going to be a long, agonizing weekend for you and your DH. Especially since you spent time with Joel. Aside from my prayers for you all, one thing I know, no matter how this turns out, you will be led to your child. Cry, scream, be very angry, punch pillows, but don't give up. I recall seeing a few other of us Mommy Cysters on this board, have some real downs right before we got our children, and always there was a divine reason behind it. But your feelings are so valid, especially the loss of your physical fertility and the process of adoption that's often MORE uncertain than the infertility or pregnacy.

And even though our case(s) were relinquishment vs. abandonment, I believe they are almost the same in process and we DID in fact enter Family Court before we'd sent our POA down. (Because I remember being shocked--I didn't think they could diaper the baby without a POA! But it does work a little differently than the agency handouts.)

So, you could be in FC. And as far as that goes, everyone may be telling you accurate information.

I hope you find out something very soon. Try to do something special with your DH this weekend, and be extra good to each other.

Adoption Momma · 07-04-2003, 08:18 PM

I just wanted to send a hug and let you know I'm saying very special prayers for you, your DH, and Joel. I pray for God to send special angels to watch over Joel until he is united with his mommy and daddy. I also pray for God to give you and your DH a special strengh this weekend. You have had a great loss (as the mommy of 4 cats, I greatly understand). And now to have this emotional threat, it's definitely overwhelming.

I've not been down the adoption road yet, but we have discussed it in great length. We had four foster children last year and I learned a valuable lesson - my blood and my child's blood doesn't have to share the same gene to create a love bond. The four teenagers (a sibling group) we had are now back home but the bond will never be broken.

I pray this weekend goes by quickly and that you'll have answers soon. Please keep us posted.

Tina

Lisa67 · 07-05-2003, 01:43 PM

Oh my goodness! I pray it's just a mix up in babies and your little Joel will be in your arms again soon.

I'll be saying lots of prayers and keeping you all in my thoughts!!

I'm so sorry about your pup too. I know how heartbreaking that can be!

skiboo · 07-06-2003, 01:54 PM

(((Jennifer)))
I am so very sorry to hear about your possible problems with your sweet little Joel. I will be keeping you, your dh and Joel in my thoughts and praying that you will be united as a family forever very soon soon. I do so hope that this is just a big mix-up and that everything will be resolved next week. I can only imagine your agony at the moment. I wish I had magic words or the perfect advice to give... but I don't. All I can do is offer you my support and best wishes... hang in there honey... it is almost Monday...

Please keep us updated!
Janie

MaryS · 07-07-2003, 11:13 AM

Jen,
Sending you lots of hugs and prayers. I pray that Joel will join your family soon.
So sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved pet, my thoughts are with you.
Mary

dms · 07-07-2003, 11:18 AM

Jen,
There's not much I can say except that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I really feel for you and my heart hurts for you.

Keep your faith.

Dawn

websissy · 07-07-2003, 03:26 PM

Hugs [[[[[[[[JEN]]]]]]]]!

Sorry to hear about your Husky's passing. I know how hard that is - I love my pets! He lived a long life though and I'm sure he'll be in heaven waiting for you!

Hopefully, your agency will get this mix up with your POA sorted out soon. I prayed for Joel to join your family soon!

Best wishes,

dna · 07-07-2003, 05:45 PM

Jen

Sorry about your pup

Thats sad news

I have everything x'd that everything will come together with Joel as it should (but I really have no doubt it will be okay)

Adoption is probly the hardest route to take in this ttc business...
Head up missy everything will fall into place when you have him home with you ..

Take care and keep us updated
Amy

Lisa75 · 07-07-2003, 10:37 PM

(((Hugs))) to you. You've had a terrible day that's for sure. I'm sorry to hear about your puppy and also about the stuff your going thru with Joel. Just don't let the devil steal your joy...stand on faith and believe it will all work out soon. Depend on God! I will be praying for you and Joel. God be with you and yours.

Lisa75