Very depressed.

Armystolehim04 · 06-22-2008, 07:00 PM

Since i started treatment and went off my yazmin i feel terrible.I want to rip everyones head off.I feel i can't control myself and i usually take it out on my boyfriend in iraq.I really miss him and i just wish i could make him happy like i used to.i feel useless like all i do is argue with him and i don't know why.I've been crying for several hours a day,having a hard time breathing and feeling a panic attack coming on.We keep fighting and i know its all my fault,all i need to do is be there for him and i can't.I can't explain to him how i feel because its so hard to describe.It just want someone to understand.I just want a friend,i moved to GA its almost been a year and i have no one that even wants to talk to me.All my so called friends here say they will hang out with me and never call me back.I really miss my boyfriend and i wish he was here.I wish i could show him how much i love him how much i care about him.I can't ever imagine being with someone else ever.I hate that i make him feel like crap and stress him out over nothing and start fights.I just wish i could do something about this but its feel uncontrollable.

This sucks
:-(

chantelley · 06-22-2008, 09:41 PM

Big hugs to you sweetie

It is hard having your loved one so far away from home (i know i hate it!) is it maybe in some way that arguing with him distracts you from how much your missing him?

You'll always have friends here and if you ever need to chat then feel free to pm me hun.

Hope your feeling better soon

Rainbow_Chakra · 07-20-2008, 05:04 AM

I feel your pain. For me, the pain of depression hurts more than a hundred knives. I feel confused and frustrated and angry. Yasmin also made me more depressed. I had to go off it mid cycle as i was feeling suicidal. After going off of it, I felt my normal depression rather than the exaggerated suicidal depression.
I think it's important not to blame yourself for your depression or fail to blame it for the frustration you are feeling. I know that I feel much better now that i can admit to myself... "hey you are depressed, that is why you feel like you hate everything... not because you actually do. You'll get through it eventually" I also totally recommend the book "Dark Night of the Soul" by Thomas Moore, it has helped me since my dark time with contemplating suicide.
I tend to take it out on the ones I love as well. making me feel worse. I wish you luck in overcoming your depression. I am going to start taking metformin in a last chance before resorting to SSRI anti depressants. I'm seeing a counsellor and that helps a bit.

I see that you are taking Metformin and still deal with depression... so perhaps it will not work for me either. have you tried any anti-depressants?