VERY Depressed right now

sweetsmom · 07-27-2005, 02:44 AM

I am having a hard time. Lately I have not cared if I lived or died. Not that I am wanting to take my life but just that I don't care. I also have been feeling like my son deserves a better mother than me. He is strong willed and we battle a lot. However, I made special time with him and bought him a cookie at starbucks and brought it home. we went for a walk around the block and talked about what was on HIS mind while he ate his cookie and he gave me a kiss on his own for the first time in a long time. I hope that is the key to us having a better relationship. I hate the way we battle but I need him to know that no means no and stop means stop and that we follow the rules. Any good books on parenting a strong willed child? I felt good when he kissed me but I am still VERY down about everything in my life. DH will not let me go on Zoloft. He said that all I need is for him to be more sensitive. I tried samples for 2 months and it was awesome! Now that I am off of it I can control my emotions better but when I get down, I get down. i used to pray to have more feeling but now I want the Zoloft to numb them again....help please...running and crying...

hopingforababysoon · 07-27-2005, 10:33 AM

I hope that things start getting better for you and that you gather strength to want to go on. Maybe dh will consider you taking the Zoloft if you spoke to him about how it helped you before

Rozlynn · 07-27-2005, 11:23 AM

Just wanted to stop in say hello and say I am sorry that you are feeling so crappy.

Suzi33 · 07-27-2005, 11:36 AM

Quote:

I am having a hard time. Lately I have not cared if I lived or died. Not that I am wanting to take my life but just that I don't care. I also have been feeling like my son deserves a better mother than me.

I could have written those first two lines word, by word! I don't know what to tell you except if you feel Zoloft was helping you, by all means, talk to DH and your DR and take it! I am not taking anything, and I even spoke to my mom about maybe starting Effexor and her response? "You don't need that, you are upset because of your weight, lose weight and you will feel better" Yes, I hate being overweight, but I don't think that is the only reason for my moodiness, depression, and constant state of anger! Anyways, I pray that you find an answer and feel better soon. If you want to talk feel free to PM me, I will be there for you. Please take care and I will be praying for you sweetie.

Suzie

Kameyan · 07-27-2005, 11:51 AM

It is my prayer for you that you have strength because you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you and I pray that you have peace the peace that passes all understanding. I too sometimes deal with depression. I think it is good that you have an outlet to share your feelings. Continue to do so. Don't bottle it all in. I promise brighter days are ahead. I have found that when you hit rock bottom ain't no place to go but up. Know that you are being prayed for and thought of.

choirmissy · 07-27-2005, 12:44 PM

((HUGS)). I do hope things are better for you. I don't have children, so I can't comment on that area. I do have a problem with your husband not allowing you to go on Zoloft, especially if it was helping you. Would he deny you medication if you were physically ill? Why should that be any different because the symptoms are mental and emotional? It's great that he is willing to listen and to be sensitive to your needs, but it doesn't sounds like your problems stem from your relationship with him.

Sorry, off my soapbox. Is there anything that you really enjoy that you can feel positive about, a hobby or something else? Maybe some time there could also help.

heather090702 · 07-27-2005, 12:45 PM

(((Hugs))) to you. I know how you feel. There have been days when I think how much better off DH and DD would be without me but when it all comes down to it, your family needs you.

Your DH should not be dictating what you can and cannot do with your body. I take Zoloft and it really has worked wonders. Yes, I do still get down but my day to day is so much better than it ever was. This is your quality of life and he needs to repect the decisions you make for yourself.

Please feel better, if you need anything we are always here for you!

Heather

hellofromangie · 07-27-2005, 01:45 PM

I'm sorry for the difficulty you are having. It certainly sounds like you are a great mom. You brought your son a cookie, and went on a walk with him so that he could talk with you about what was going on with him, is great mommy skills. Personally I think your son has the best mom ever, and I bet he feels the same way.

Angie

Gunnie · 07-27-2005, 03:19 PM

Ditto on everything Angie said. It sounds like your son senses you are down right now and is letting you know he loves and needs you. I also agree with choirmissy in that hubby should not be calling the shots on your meds. If your dr. thinks you will benefit from it and will prescribe it, then why is he so against it? Doesn't he want whats best for your well being and happiness? You hang in there girlfriend and let us know how you are doing!

lalalah · 07-27-2005, 06:28 PM

Hope you feel better soon. I have taken Zoloft and it helped me - this is about you, so if you feel you need it, it is up to you.
It doesn't matter if you think your son deserves a better mum - YOU are his mum, that means you are being the best mum he can have. You have acknowledged some issues which is a great step.

MommyJenny74 · 07-27-2005, 06:51 PM

Hi there,
I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time now. I know somedays I have thought there must be much better mommies out there than me! But I do believe my kids are really glad I'm their mommy, even on those days when I feel I have accomplished nothing! You never know how that one small thing you do affects your kids! They sometimes remember something I did (like read a story etc.) that I have forgotten, and it was so important to them. As far as meds go, I would definitely talk to your husband. Depression should be viewed as any other illness: one that needs treatment. My husband and I have very traditional roles, he's very much the leader in our home, but I have been taking Prozac for 2 years now and it helps me so much. It's good that he realizes maybe he needs to work on being sensitive to you, and that will help, but your depression in an illness that would benefit from Zoloft or another med! I hope you feel better and if you ever want to talk then feel free to email me or pm me!
Jenny