Very early miscarriage anyone?

AndreaC · 05-06-2004, 02:16 PM

I conceived my second child a few weeks ago. I found out on a Saturday (I reckon about 12 dpo) but lost it on th following Wednesday.

I found this rollercoaster very difficult. My first child was conceived with Clomid and took years. This one was natural and now I feel like it is going to happen again if i get pregnant naturally. They said the lining of my womb was very thin and I don't know if this is an actual problem or just a one off because things weren't progressing as they should at that point.

I feel guilty that I have been so upset about it because I only knew for a few days and there are other people who have been through much worse. However, I still feel I had made plans for that child and wondered what it was going to look like. be like etc. Is this normal?

I do feel really ready to be pregnant again and quickly but I can't help worrying after reading I'm more likely to have anothe miscarriage now I have had one.

I feel really cheated as I have done everything I can to make myself healthy including losing over 60 pounds to take me to my ideal weight, excercising 2-3 times per week etc. and this time I miscarried and I can't understand why.

Sorry so long but feel frustrated today.

Thanks to anyone who reads/replies.

DeeDeeLynn · 05-06-2004, 02:30 PM

Hi there,
I just wanted to say that I went through this last June. I took clomid, had a + opk test. Because I was keeping track of my cycle and stuff, I did a hpt and it was kind of a blurry positive (cheap test), so my doc wanted me to come in for a blood test, which was a 4...very low, but positive, nonetheless. So I didn't tell dh at that point. I went for another blood test and it was a 12. So I'm thinking all is going well. The doc's office was gonna do another u/sound but wanted to do a blood test again, just to be sure. This time it was a 1. This was done on a Monday. The previous Friday I had told dh.
I was totally crushed.

I got AF on Tuesday. I was told that it was a chemical pg. Thinking back to taking clomid back in 2000 and having the same symptoms, I think it was probably another chemical pg also.
Anyway, since we PCOS women monitor our cycles and pgs so closely, we find out we are pg MUCH sooner than the average woman. If I had never had the blood test done, I probably never would've known. I think this happens very often.
But since we were ttc and I got a +, I still took it that I was pg and "miscarried." I cried and cried for probably 2 weeks. Things get easier, just hang in there.
Just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this type of thing. I still think of myself as having been pg, don't know if other people consider it a real pg, but oh well.
Hugs and blessings to you!

*Clarissa* · 05-06-2004, 04:04 PM

First big hugs to both of you. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I recently lost my second child in March, and had a d&c in April.

This is quoting myself on the ttc board.

We didn't just lose some tissue, or think we were pg and then we weren't. We lost our child. It doesn't matter how far along I you were, or if you had even seen your baby yet, when you struggle like we have to become pg in the first place, we instantly fall in love with our children, the minute we saw that bfp, then when the baby dies, or we miscarry, we have lost a child and we have to mourn, just like anyone else mourns when they lose a child, born or not, they are still our children. I already loved and still love Alex, my baby that I lost very early at 6wks 4 days, as much as I love Noah, my very alive 22 mnth old. No I never saw Alex on an u/s until the day we found out that its heart wasn't beating, but I had an instant connection the minute that I saw my bfp. And most would think that a man doesn't mourn because he never felt that baby growing inside of him, but I for one can say that Brian, my dh, has cried with me and mourned Alex also. It was his child, it was our child. No one else can feel the pain that we have felt so they are not compassionate to our pain. It is a bond that only Brian and I will ever know and share. One bond that we didn't want.

The reason that I quoted this is because I think it is appropriate for both of you. Neither of you should feel guilty for mourning this loss, no matter how early, you lost a child. We have a great thread called ttc after a loss over on the ttd board. If you are ready to talk about it or try agian, please join us.

AndreaC · 05-06-2004, 07:58 PM

Thanks guys!

You both said some really nice things.

I feel that although it makes me feel lucky when I compare my situation to somebody elses which is much worse, it was still my very real, naturally conceived baby in my little world. I think the only way I can move forward is to concentrate on getting pregnant again.

It really helps to come back on this site and receive support.

Thanks again.

Sticky · 05-06-2004, 08:11 PM

Hi Andrea,

I found out I was pregnant when I started bleeding heavily and went to the docs to be told I may be miscarrying. At this point I had not been diagnosed with pcos. I went for a scan and was told eveything was fine and that I was aprox 5 weekd pregnant. I then had more bleeding on and off for 3 weeks each time going for scans ands being told eveything was fine. The lkast time at 9 weeks I had a m/c.

I had to have a d&C and it was oinly 4 months after the d&C that they discovered that i have pcos, this is due to my periods not returning, having bad acne and gaining weight. I have gone from a size 8 to large 14 in 1 year (since coming off the pill.

I understand how you feel and although I am now on Metformin and hoping to conceive i worry that i am destined to m/c due to this disease and it takes over.

If you ever need to talk this web site is great, I only recently joined but it is really good toi be able to vent some of your heartache to people who understand.

Keep your head up

jefferson24 · 05-15-2004, 12:25 AM

I lost a baby yesterday to miscarriage and still am hurting physically and emotionally but I know it is not our fault. You loved and wanted that baby and did everything you could. You would have moved heaven and earth to save it if you could have. We just can not have the answers to why. Don't feel guilty for what you could not help. Stay strong and communicate with your spouse openly and often. All the best to you as you go through this trauma.
Angie

kwannabee · 05-15-2004, 01:12 PM

I just wanted to say i was thinking of you...and angie this is so fresh for you...my sincere condolences...

Andrea...from the very minute you realize you are going to be have a baby...you are a mother...no matter how long you carried...

everything painter said was so true...i held my babies in my arms while they died and i'll never know if it would have been easier the other way...i dont honestly think it matters...your baby is your baby...no matter what. Dont feel guilty about anything you feel...just sending you all cyber hugs

take care