Links | Links 2 | Links 3 | Links 4 |

Go Back   PCOS Message Board > What's on Your Mind About PCOS? > PCOS Unique Populations > Thin Cysters

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-21-2007, 01:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Bonabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Posts: 6
Bonabee is on a distinguished road
Points: 873.37
Bank: 0.00
Total Points: 873.37
Default Waiting for Kids?

I'm a relatively newly diagnosed cyster (2006) and am still learning about everything. So first and foremost I want to thank you all for being so open and informative. It's helped immensely knowing that there are others out there, especially thin cysters. I was shocked at some of the dis-believing responses I've gotten from my GP and dermatologist (like I would make it up and ask for this??). Anyway, I have a situation. I am approaching my 29th birthday. I have a wonderful and caring boyfriend who has been very supportive throughout the diagnostic process. However, he is younger than I am and not quite ready for marriage and kids talk. Not likely to be for at least a few years yet. Of course, that comes at odds with my panic over having children (or never being able to), especially with regard to advancing age. I don't know if I can afford to wait for him to be ready, at the same time I don't want to lose him. I know there are things that can be done to help symptoms, but as a thin cyster losing weight isn't really going to help me much. So I put this to the group: am I over-reacting by getting nervous at this point? At what age should I really start worrying about having kids and/or "missing my chance"? Has anyone out there been in this position?
Bonabee is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Old 06-21-2007, 02:51 AM   #2 (permalink)
Registered User
 
CaliGirl!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,263
My Mood:
CaliGirl! is just really niceCaliGirl! is just really niceCaliGirl! is just really niceCaliGirl! is just really niceCaliGirl! is just really nice
Points: 17,319.64
Bank: 3,175,621.69
Total Points: 3,192,941.33
Default

I haven't been in your position but have you tried talking to him about your concerns? At first my husband was not ready to start TTC yet so we were going to wait till at least this Aug. This was last year. I explained that it could take years to conceive and that possibly we might have to adopt. I told him I felt better TTC sooner than later because by the time we initially wanted to start I would know a lot more about my body and what it will take to get pg. He agreed and was a little nervous at first but it has already been 6 months and he is happy we started early. If we were to get pregnant sooner than later we would have adjusted and been very happy. If he is a great guy and you want to spend the rest of your life with him I would not get rid of him. If he truly is in it for the long run he will understand and maybe you can start TTCing before marriage. I know a couple girls on the boards are doing that now. Good luck with and keep us updated.
__________________
Me - 30 yrs. old
Husband
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(Love of my Life!) - 29 yrs. old
Our Beautiful Little Girl was born on June 2, 2008
Surprise BFP! 8/5/09


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

CaliGirl! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2007, 11:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
sheepiegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,486
My Mood:
sheepiegirl is a glorious beacon of lightsheepiegirl is a glorious beacon of lightsheepiegirl is a glorious beacon of lightsheepiegirl is a glorious beacon of lightsheepiegirl is a glorious beacon of lightsheepiegirl is a glorious beacon of light
Points: 34,531.75
Bank: 0.00
Total Points: 34,531.75
Default

I agree with Caligirl, but I'd also worry about pressuring him into doing something he's not ready for yet and then feeling either 'stuck' or resentful (even if it was the path he would have chosen eventually). Men do mature later than women (generally speaking). I don't think you need to be in a super hurry to TTC...maybe if you had a talk and it became a 'in 2-3 years' type of timeframe...
sheepiegirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2007, 04:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
TrishainAZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,742
My Mood:
TrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant future
Points: 118,341.87
Bank: 175,572.76
Total Points: 293,914.63
Default

Knowing how some of my friends (without PCOS) have been in relationships, I think it would be wise to at least have a very frank discussion about it. Even if you don't have PCOS, I think at this age (and I'm about the same age...30) I don't think its unreasonable to find out where your partner stands on the major issues. I'm not saying pressuring anyone into anything he's not ready for, but really finding out EXACTLY what he thinks so that you can make an informed decision about the path your life will take. Having PCOS can complicate things, but I would say this to anyone. At this point, you really don't know if it will affect your fertility or not (unless you already know that you don't get your period or ovulate, then you can assume you may have some issues, but again lots of us are successful) I can tell you that having children (although wonderful and I have never loved anything more in my life) will not bring a relationship closer together (I'm not implying that you have a bad relationship here) so you really need to both be ready for it. Get real answers from him, ask yourself how you feel about those answers and decide if they work for you. Too many times I see my friends worrying so much about the guy that they forget about themselves. Hopefully his answers will mesh with yours and everything will work out great, but if not, isn't it better to find out sooner rather than later? Best of luck!
TrishainAZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 03:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Bonabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Posts: 6
Bonabee is on a distinguished road
Points: 873.37
Bank: 0.00
Total Points: 873.37
Default

Thank you all so much for your advice. We've talked a bit about the marriage thing, but he isn't settled in his career yet and that leaves him feeling a bit unready for the commitment of taking care of anyone else (me included, although he also certainly knows I can take care of myself-it's a guy thing I guess). But a conversation about time frames and such wouldn't be too bad of an idea. I just wish I knew if it's gonna take me years or just months to have kids! Cause it may end up making a difference for us, but seems like such a crapshoot. There's no way of really predicting, which sucks!
Bonabee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 03:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
Registered User
 
TrishainAZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,742
My Mood:
TrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant futureTrishainAZ has a brilliant future
Points: 118,341.87
Bank: 175,572.76
Total Points: 293,914.63
Default

You know, you at least have the benefit of already knowing you may have issues. Plenty of other women are in your situation that just assume it will be easy to have kids and then bam, its not so easy. At least this way you can make informed choices. I didn't know until I tried having kids (luckily I was pretty young and it wasn't too difficult) Good luck!
TrishainAZ is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Post: 5.00

{widget place holder} {widget place holder}
 
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0.1

All times are GMT -3. The time now is 11:03 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.1.0
copyright 2002-2004