Want a baby bad

LadyBugg · 07-02-2003, 11:32 PM

Hi Ladies,

I know we all go through times of feeling "down", and this is what I am experiencing lately to a deeper degree than normal it seems. I keep telling myself that it will pass, and it will, but I am beginning to wonder when.

The thing is, I have a great life. I feel like my husband must be the best one in the whole world for as gentle and kind as he is to me even when I am crazy. I have a great job and we just purchased our first home.

Here's the catch: we can't have our own children. We found this out last Christmas when we were going to the fertility clinic to deal with my possible infertility. Imagine our shock to learn that my dh does not produce swimmers, not even one. Oddly, he seems to have gotten on with it, but I am still so sad, which makes him feel worse, and it becomes a cycle. Sometimes I just cry when I see people with babies everywhere I go.

We will do donor insemination, but since we just bought a house, we need to wait a few months because of the expense. I am angry that it has to cost me so much freakin' money just to try to have a baby, and if it doesn't work, we'll have to pay $10,000 to adopt. It's so unfair.

Now I know this is a selfish pity party on my part, but I thought maybe someone would understand my desparation...

:-(

Ladybugg

SheriKCMO · 07-03-2003, 12:33 AM

Keltie,
What a beautiful name! It hurts me so much to see my cysters feeling low! Please know that we are with you always, no matter what is happening. I feel that emptiness, thinking that I might never see my own child or my husband's own child, just like you, but I believe that it is only my infertility that is to blame.
Is there any possible treatment for your husband? Nutritional change, or anything? If all of that has been ruled out, then I think focusing on the positive and looking forward to the children that you will have is what will get you through this.
Best wishes,
Sheri

LadyBugg · 07-03-2003, 09:22 PM

Thanks for the positive outlook Sheri. We have seen a urologist and there is no hope for my husband, but we do look forward to having children, it just can't come soon enough for me especially. I really appreciate your response.

Cheers,

Keltie

adopt a child · 07-03-2003, 10:34 PM

I done donor sperm 11 times unsuccessful, I do have pcos and hubby low sperm count. Are we a pair or not? lol.. We adopted in state for 40.00, not 10 grand ! I wish I had adopted from get go, what a waste of precious mommy time and money and most of all HEART BREAK WHEN IT DIDNT WORK!!!!!!!! Good luck, adoption is really great for you and the child(ren)

Sari · 07-05-2003, 12:28 PM

adopt a child - how did you get started in finding information on in state adoption?

adopt a child · 07-05-2003, 06:20 PM

I called my county dept. of social services to see what they had to offer, which was basically 9yrs.&up foster kids. That wasnt what we were interested in, we wanted an infant or toddler to adopt.I ask the lady at DSS about such adoption places in state that didnt charge thousands and she gave me the number to childrens home society of north carolina. I called there explained my interest, they faxed me some paper work and a worker called when that was returned and we had to do MAPP class, which is excellent for foster and adopting parents, and required state law here. 1 year after that we got a call about my son who was 7 weeks old and needed a home!that was about 2.5 yrs. ago and we have been trying to adopt another child for the past year.We paid 40.00 court cost and I paid 17.50 for the new birth certificate.
LOOK WITHIN YOUR STATE !!! iF i CAN BE OF ANY HELP, DONT HESITIATE TO ASK ME, EVER...

J_MBoe · 07-08-2003, 08:08 PM

I jsut want to give you a hug

Tina427 · 07-18-2003, 07:06 PM

Hi Ladies,
We have 2 adopted children and it didn't cost us a thing. We also get complete medical coverage for them since they were adopted through the state.
Here's our story:
I started menses very(no history of PCOS in my famly) young (11) and they were always heavy. This was never a problem until my late teens. At this time started gaining weight. At 19 I got married but thankfully no children resulted.Fastforward to age 29. I am now madly in love and ready to marry my hubby.We knew something was wrong when I didn't get AF every month.Plus I had developed MAJOR hursuitism.I had legs hairier than some men and much chin hair. We decided to see a fertiltiy dr. Upon my VERY first visit she told me I had PCOS!This was sad but a relief to know there was a reason I looked and felt this way. We did cycles of fertinex,then cycles of pregnyl, then one shot (all the medical coverage would allow) of AI. NOTHING....my eggs were not growing large enough to fertilize....who knew?
Then we decided to check adoption.Wellllll,to get a newborn or infant white child was many thousands of $$$$ which we didn't have!! I cried for a while,I alway wanted to be a mom and I married a only child. He was great in dealing with never having a child "of his own".Well, we adopted through the state of NJ.During the process of our physical I found out I have type 2 diabetes. Continue with the adoption and get a bright 11 year boy(now 14) and 2 years later I wanted a girl. So we reapplied and soon finalizing on 4 year old girl.We only paid out to get birth certificates!
Then,much to our surprise we showed up pregnant on my 38th Bdy.Sadly 6 weeks later I miscarried. But we have since learned I probably began ovulating because I am on 2000 mg glucophage.So we are trying but not getting over anxious as our two children give us joy.
Well,hope I didn't bend your ear too far.
Thanx for listening,
Tina

prunepie · 07-18-2003, 07:10 PM

thinking ofy ou xoxo jenn

Lendi · 07-18-2003, 10:38 PM

Just want to send warm wishes and hugs your way. I pray that you will be able to find an avenue that leads to a child of your own quickly. Any child you were to have, adopted or sperm donor, will have a special mommy. The best gift you can give a child is for them to know they are loved and wanted. Hugs, Lendi

adopt a child · 07-19-2003, 11:07 AM

I often wonder after reading all the different threads,how these women who just are so involved with trying constantly to get pregnant feel about adoption. I did ,myself, try 3 years all together try to get pregnant with fertility help and one day when I went in to have an ultrasound to check my follicle sizes I decided "the hell with this every month" , i will adopt.Well got ultrasound done and the werent very large, cant remember sizes now,I told the dr. I wouldnt need any more help, I wanted to check into adoption which he thought was great. When I got home from that appointment, very disgusted i may add, I called social services and thats when I got involved with adoption. I am grateful to myself as well as saving my marriage(you know how rough it is) that I made the call. I cant imagine loving a child anymore than I do my son.All the time i spent at a damn dr. office, I never knew alot of women who do concieve miscarry. If had I been better informed about PCOS I think I would of given up much earlier.I know I will never again feel the emptyness of wanting to be a mommy thanks to the women who can concieve and make an adoption plan for their children.Hope this thread doesnt offend anyone.