Want to give up...

Kizmin · 02-19-2009, 03:36 AM

Hello!

I've been diagnosed PCOS for 2 years, me and DH have been TTC for both years. I've been through 4 cycles of 1500 mg Met/day, 1 week of Clomid (can't remember dose) last cycle, taken injections, and I've had an HSG (tubes are clear).

I'm 5'10", BMI is 21, and I've lost 15-20 pounds (depending on the time in my cycle) since starting the Met. I've always been a healthy weight.

I've come to you, fellow cysters, because I need humble opinions and thoughts, and there is no one (other than my DH) I can talk to that understands.

I've been seeing the same RE throughout this whole ordeal (since Nov. 08), and my last visit was very disconcerting. I had 4 follicles growing, one maturing at a better rate at the others, but never came to fruition. I was taking injections (I honestly can't remember what they were called, but I took 1/day for 3 days, and the shots- worth 300 bucks- were graciously donated to me) to help growth, but no dice.

My RE keeps telling me to keep my chin up, because he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve. My last visit was not only disapointing, but he kind of irked me when doing a vaginal ultrasound (a usual monthly treat). He couldn't find my left ovary, so... he proceeded to push down with his hands and work the wand up, all the while feeling like he was crushing my ovary. I said "ouch, ouch, ouch, yeah, that hurts". He said "if it hurts, tell me to stop". No... realllly? Gosh, I wanted someone to squeeze and jab his testicle, and ask him if it hurts, all the while asking mundane questions.

Anyway, all I'm asking is, when did you choose to take a break. I have baby fever so bad... it gets very sad and depressing. The 7 am post coital tests have also put a damper on our sex life.

Any thoughts, or encouragement?

Thanks

yodasmistress · 02-19-2009, 01:04 PM

I've been on this roller coaster for more than 3 years. IMHO, it doesn't get easier; if anything it gets worse. However, you do learn how to cope better.

I have also had a few u/s that hurt - one of my ovaries likes to hide. However, it's not the RE's fault that my ovary is obstinate! Also, just as a forewarning, many of the things yet to come on the ART path will hurt worse. I found the HSG to be quite painful and IUI is no walk in the park. But I've done it because I want a baby.

As for when it's time to take a break - that is all up to you and your husband. If you look at my siggy you'll notice that we did no ARTs during all of 2008. We still tried "naturally". There was a part of me that thought that if we just gave it more time, it would happen on it's own - especially since I DO ovulate. But it hasn't. So now we're both ready to move forward with IVF.

Kizmin · 02-19-2009, 02:59 PM

I'm sorry to hear you're having a very difficult time. I am sending good thoughts for your spring IVF. Since my diagnosis, I've felt like a fertility statue for other people, but not myself (obviously). Within the past year, it seems like everyone around me has gotten pregnant (even when they weren't trying, or wanting a pregnancy), even my parents' dog!

That's awesome you ovulate! See, you're already a step ahead of me, and a lot of people. Thanks for your thoughts on the matter.

Good vibes to you,

Justine

Kizmin · 02-20-2009, 03:44 PM

Instead of making a new thread, I decided to just ask this here. Concurrent with the medication I've been taking (listed above), and doctors visits, I've been having weird symptoms I've never had before. Just wondering if anyone has experienced these symptoms, or has any thoughts.

For the past few mornings, I've woken up extremely nauseous (TMI: I vomited a couple of times, too). This is 2 days after eating EVERYTHING in sight. I've just finished my 7th Aygestin pill (two days ago) to get rid of the follicles that were growing, and to start my period. My breasts have been EXTREMELY sore for about 4 or 5 days (I'm talking can't-even-towel-myself-dry sore), and I haven't started bleeding yet (which I usually start 2 or 3 days after ending progestin). I'm also drowsy ALL the time.

I've never taken Aygestin before, which I'm thinking would be the reason for the weird side effects. I'm miserable in the morning, guys. I miss working out. I hate feeling lazy with no energy. Help!!

TrishainAZ · 02-20-2009, 09:18 PM

Did I read this right? You've been trying to conceive for 2 years but only on meds for 4 months? I think most people say to give it at LEAST 6 months to work. Obviously it doens't work for everyone, but for me my met took 3-4 months the first three times to work. I tried for over a year with my first before being diagnosed, but it took those 3-4 months on met before it worked. Its not a magic pill for everyone, but I would give it a few more months at least. And you don't have to be AS aggressive in treating if you need a break from that. There are different levels of "trying". If its too overwhelming, stick with less invasive methods for a while (hopefully it'll work but if not, you can try up again when you are ready) And there is no reason you can't try another RE if you don't like the oe you have now. Good luck!

eimi · 02-21-2009, 04:30 PM

Maybe you should switch to another RE. and depending on your age (I'm almost 36..) a break may be a good idea, because you and your well being are the most important thing. The Met may start working after 3-6 months. Working out: have you tried yoga?
As for Aygestin - I have no idea...
I think that you should really be optimistic, because you haven't really tried much yet. It happens that the ovaries don't respond well to the first round or two of injections, it's a question of learning what dose works for you.
feel well and good luck!

Ak3664 · 04-06-2009, 05:19 PM

I think it's definitely a personal choice as to when it's time to take a break.

Concetta · 04-07-2009, 11:19 PM

Hi! I've never been pregnant before and I've never been on the medication you're taking but my sister had a baby recently and she said the symptoms of pregnancy are sickness and fatigue. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything but you might want to consider that as a possibility...

nmwoodde · 04-08-2009, 08:56 PM

ya, i am afraid that my break will be coming soon.

JulieMGR · 04-21-2009, 05:15 PM

Hello all,

I've come to bring a glimmer of hope to you. I tried for years, injections, ivf, iui's the whole shabang! I know how it feels to be where you are right now, I made the decision not to give up and changed dr's for a fresh opinion. I now have 14 month old baby twin boys and am grateful everyday. It's ok to take a break, but don't be afraid to switch clinics, sometimes you have to be aggressive to get anywhere with this. Turst me, if I can have babies you can too! I don't ovulate, I'm a thin cyster who NEVER gets my period....it's a miracle that I was able to get preggo but I did and you can too. Good luck and stay positive!

indiancyster · 04-21-2009, 06:00 PM

hi Justine,

Wow your post took the words from my mouth. I have been feeling REALLY low today. I haven't tried the medications that you have...but I have been trying for what seems like forever (it's actually only been a year) and I've become so demoralized by the whole thing.

First off, your symptoms could totally be from the meds but are u sure you're not preggo? Don't want to get your hopes up but those symptoms sound pretty suspicious...LOL. Second, as for a break, like someone else said, it's really up to you and DH. It's all about what u can handle and what u need to continue down this path. If you don't want to fully take a break maybe just choose one med to be on...like Clomid or Met or whatever you were prescribed...and then focus on maintaining the healthiest lifestyle you can. If you miss working out, you should work out. If you don't want to be too hardcore with it, maybe try yoga or something more low key but still has the benefits of stress management.

This is SOOOO hard...I am going through the same thing as you are and there are days (like today) where I just want to stay under my covers and not come out. Everyone around me has gotten pregnant....to make matters worse I work with a population of women who take NO care of their bodies (most use drugs and drink on a regular basis) and many of them continue to have one baby after the next. Do I sound bitter?!?! Yes, I admit it...I am...LOL.

At this point I don't know what to do either. Part of me wants to take a break from it all...the other part knows that I wouldn't be happy if I wasn't at least TRYING. It's tough.

I wish you best of luck...hang in there...I have one friend who tried for just around 2 years...and when I say that this girl tried EVERYTHING, I mean it....including home inseminations that she did herself (crazy, right?)....NOTHING worked and only when she finally gave up and figured having a baby naturally wasn't in the cards for her, did she conceive and carry to term a healthy baby boy (he's now 2). So it definitely CAN happen...and it will...I guess the question is just, when....

Reena

TrishainAZ · 04-21-2009, 06:16 PM

I know we all hate to hear this, but its true for me too. When I finally went ahead and bought a new skinny pair of jeans (I wasn't going to cause I was hoping I'd get pregnant and it'd be a waste of money) and decided to move on and train for a marathon (I wasn't before because I was HOPING I'd be pregnant and didn't want to waste the effort) I got pregnant... It might have been the met or maybe it was the not stressing? Who knows. But the next ones were MUCH easier too (again, maybe the met or maybe because I wasn't all consumed by it?) So, breaks can be good too. Even if they are just temporary ones. Good luck!

anselmi · 04-21-2009, 06:26 PM

You know, it really sucks the situation we are all in, but worst of all is the extra stress we put on ourselves because of our condition. That stress is toxic to us, especially if we are trying to get pregnant! I know it is hard to not get wrapped up in the whole thing! There is no need for a break if you can find ways to relax and stay as stress free about it as possible. Unfortunately our bodies are smarter than our minds and a lot of times if you are under a lot of stress, you won't ovulate, especially not on your regular schedule. This is because our body knows stress and wants to defend that "possible baby" from being created under the circumstances and will hold off on ovulation until we have become stress free. Sorry if I am saying to much...I just think that unfortunately we all want babies and we are so stressed about the long process we are being put through and all the meds we have to take that we forget about all of the baby making factors we can control...So I'd suggest if you have the money, go get a massage, take your mind off of it just for that hour. Try yoga or something else relaxing! Try going on date nights before baby making, don't loose sight of your marriage and how your DH makes you laugh and loves you unconditionally!

I am always stressed and I know how it affects our bodies, so don't forget to take care of your body during all of this, try to not let the little things get to you! Thats my pep talk for the day, I hope it helps!

LOTS OF BABY DUST!

indiancyster · 04-22-2009, 12:41 PM

hey Amanda,

I totally agree with you. Our bodies pick up on our stress even if our minds aren't as in tune with it. It's always amazing to me how much stress my body holds...and I'm sure that my messed up cycles are a result of all the stressing. SO ANNOYING. I am starting to get more into yoga and have scheduled a couple of massages (had to save up for those...LOL) so I'm hoping that even though I still feel focused on conceiving I am also doing things to relieve the stress put on my body by all of this.

Reena