Hello ladies! It looks like there are alot of us out there deciding to go with adoption, that's great! DH and I have been ttc #1 for 2 1/2 years and I finally reached a bit of a breaking point. We have been thinking about adoption for quite some time but are severely hindered by the cost. We really do not have any way of paying even a modest adoption fee (the program we like is $14,000) So we are considering adopting through the state either foster to adopt or straight adopt.
The problem I am having is that I really am not sure I want to adopt a child any older than one year, and I feel like a horrible person for feeling that way. And of course I've been told it's very difficult to adopt children under 1 because that is what everyone wants. It makes me feel like I don't want a son or daughter badly enough if I'm not willing to adopt an older child.
Have any of you felt that way and then ended up adopting a child older than 1 after all? Or have any of you been able to adopt an infant through foster to adopt or state adoption?
TIA for any thoughts/advice!
I know exactly how you feel, I felt the same way, why would I want an older child when I wanted a baby so bad. We also couldn't afford the other options so we went throught the county we live in here. I put what I wanted as newborn to 18 months I think. I think we were lucky because it only took about a year from the time we began doing the classes until the time we actually received our daughter. I still want a baby one day but I'm so happy I went ahead and did this adoption she was a great baby (just less than 13 months old when we were placed with her. Someday soon maybe we'll look into it again for a newborn this time. Try looking into your local agency before you make up your mind
__________________ Me32/ DH 33
Adopted DD Catylou 7 new baby boy! 9-18-05
Cancer ribbon for my mom 09/03/48-11/09/01 Finally after 12 years !!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
congrats on the decision and welcome. its really good that you are being honest with yourself in what you want.
we adopted through public system (I am Canadian) and it went really smooth for us, and fast. i think it was because we were open to alot of special needs.
do research, read books, it will hepl you navigate through the system once you get that far. oh and on our application asthma, glasses, diabetes, bi racial, were all concidered special needs.
WOW glasses and bi-racial are special needs??? Imagine that
__________________ Me32/ DH 33
Adopted DD Catylou 7 new baby boy! 9-18-05
Cancer ribbon for my mom 09/03/48-11/09/01 Finally after 12 years !!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
We wanted a baby as well, and adopted out son at 15 months old and I dont regret a second of it...
We experienced many firsts (still do) with him and I can honestly say that yes I would like to experience a baby but if someone handed me another 15 month old I would take him/her !
Good luck
Amy
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Amy (34) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH (36)
DS (7) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DD (3)
Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Dec 09 - Femara 5 mgs Days 3-7
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I completely understand how you feel. I would love to have a baby, but I know how hard that can be. We decided we would take up to a 2 year old.
Wow. I can't believe they listed glasses as a special need!
__________________ Kim and Darren - both 32
4 failed clomid cycles, 1 with IUI
1 failed repronex/IUI
Break in August and September
Started Glucophage 1500 mg 9/03
Thanks so much for all your advice! I think maybe I just need to take some time. Although I really want a baby, I see so many two year olds I would take in an instant so I really think maybe it just won't matter in the end.
I can't believe they listed glasses as a special need! It will be interesting to see what they have on the paperwork when I get it, hopefully it will all arrive before the holiday.
Thanks again and Happy Holidays!
We got into our local fostercare program hoping that we would get an adoptable baby out of it and to quit feeling sorry for ourselfs for not having a child. The state said we would never get calls unless we upped the ages we would accept. We were licensed for up to a 7 year old BUT we would only do short term or long term care for a child of those ages and we would only accept a newborn if it was adoptable and under the age of one. Well 9 foster children later we got the call for little Joshua that was a day and a half old. I can actually say I was thankful I got to have some of the older kids for the experience and to see where my heart really was. I cherrish all the time we had with those kids but when you cant have children of your own sometimes nothing will fill the void until you get a child you have longed for. Maybe just get into the fosterprogram and give yourselves time to decide what ages you would be willing to take. You may surprise yourselfs but then you may find out also until you get YOUR child nothing will take the place you desire. I hope I make since. Good luck to your family. If you ever have questions email me anytime.
__________________ Married to dh Brian 4-17-93
DS-Joshua Adopted : 6-19-03
Foster parents to 20 diffrent kiddos
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"TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL THINE HEART; AND LEAN NOT UNTO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING. IN ALL THY WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM, AND HE SHALL DIRECT THY PATHS." PROVERBS 3: 5-6
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Wanting to adopt but... 
