wanting to finally start church..

southernangel · 04-20-2005, 02:15 AM

I was very uneasy about posting this here but i have nowhere else to turn.

first off, my DF is an ex drug addict that is still to this day fighting the urge to use again every day of his life. He is the one that came to me wanting to start going to church again. I would love to but i just don't know how to get back into this. it's been soooo long since i have been to church. I don't know where to start. which church to go to. He thinks if we change our life some more by going to church. Making different friends that don't do the things we used to do (partying, drinking all the time, drugs.....) it will help him some and its even deeper then that. I'm sure you all know what i mean. Its hard for me to get my feelings out right now. I know it'll be good for us and can only bring us closer together. where do we start? how do i pick a church? we were both raised in a pentecostal church.. do we go there or pick something else??? i hope i don't sound stupid here.. lol.. thanks for listenting..

andisings · 04-20-2005, 02:22 AM

My best advice is to start by deciding if you want a contemporary or traditional service. Then start going to churches in your area until you find one that fits. Give some more than one week to grow on you. Asking people from work or school may be a good idea. A nice, middle of the road church may be the way to go; not too prohibitive, but not too liberal. Best of luck and God bless!

amym · 04-20-2005, 02:06 PM

Kristy,
I think your DF has a wonderful idea and it sounds like he wants to head down the right path. My advice would be to start looking around, do alittle research on some churches in your area and then just start going to different ones. Try out different religions too if you want. If you do not feel comfortable in that church it is ok, move on to the next on your list. We had been out of church for awhile and moved to a new area. We wanted to get back into church, but being new to the area we did not know anything about any of the churches. We visited some but never felt at home. Our neighbors invited us to their church. We went and instantly felt at home. We knew the first Sunday we went that it was going to be our new church home. For the first time in our marriage we attend church every Sunday and love it. We have made some great friends.

Don't get discouraged if you do not find something right away. I think it is awesome that your DF is leading y'all down that path and that he is wanting to turn towards God to help him through his struggles instead of friends that may not be a good influence. Also look for a church with people around your age, that really helps too. God bless y'all and I hope you find a good church home and I hope it really helps y'all.

southernangel · 04-20-2005, 04:39 PM

amym and andisings, thank you both for replying to my post. I wasn't sure how to get what i wanted to say out but i think you both understood me. I am currently making a list of churches. I want tot ake him to my family church, where i was raised in, where most of my mom's extended family still attend just to see how he likes it. If he doesn't then i don't mind. I told him i would also go to his friend's church. His friend was in the same "boat" as him and turned to church. Now he's living drug and alcohol free. We both soooo want the same thing. He has tried rehabs but can't do it. The last time we went to church for about a year he was off of it just about the whole time so that is hope for us.

Jashobeam · 04-20-2005, 09:05 PM

There are churches with support programs for those fighting drug addiction. We went to a church that had a great program, and the success rate for those staying off drugs was very good.

My Dad and Father in law were raised Pentecostal, but both ended up attending Baptist churches for most of their adult lives. My brother still goes to a Pentecostal church, as does my Dad's sister. The rest of my family goes to Baptist churches.

I hope you find a good supportive church. If you have any questions you can PM me.

cystsBgone · 04-26-2005, 01:10 AM

Exactly, I had no where else to turn either, and now I'm finding that God and church and worship was where I should have started in the first place.

Anyway, addictions are tough to beat, but possible by the grace and mercy of God. I wish you nothing but the best in whatever you decide. I once heard from a reputable preacher "do it afraid", I did and it was the best move I ever made. I went to a Joyce Meyer conference alone, and by the second day I had met many people. I hadn't been to church in YEARS, too long to count.
Wishing you the best

Maybe check out the churches you do have in your community, ask around, try one by one until it "fits" for you both. You don't sound stupid at all, I admire you that you want to do this. Believe me, it took me a while to get back to church, but NO ONE could help me, but by the grace of God, I am learning to help myself. I was going around and around that same mountain the Isrealites did, wilderness mentality...and I said enough was enough, and all I can say is Praise God! We serve an awesome God, and I pray you will find the right church to worship at.

soonermomma03 · 04-30-2005, 12:56 AM

Kristy, I would start with whatever denominations you have gone to before, and go from there. Maybe ask for reccomendations from others. Also ask them where they don't reccomend going.

Good for you and your fiance. My father did drugs a bit when he was younger, he wasn't addicted (he was to smoking though), and he quit. He is a preacher now. Good luck for you in your search.

Shannon816 · 05-01-2005, 04:19 AM

I don't think it really matters what kind of church you go to as long as you are making the attempt to lead the right kind of life. It sounds like you two are making some good steps in doing that. Like everyone else has said, just try out different churches to see what you like. I'll admit I haven't been to church in a long time. I went to a private religious college, where going to chapel (church based activities) was mandatory. I got fed up with the people not practicing what they preached, and now I'm dealing with a lot of health issues. I still worship on my own, so I still have my relationship with God that way. I'll get back to going eventually though. Until you find a church, you like, watching the preachers on tv might help. A lot of networks air local churches, and you can "preview" the churches at home that way too, especially if you are hesitant to jump right in.

Best of luck to both of you.

Jashobeam · 05-02-2005, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shannon816

I don't think it really matters what kind of church you go to as long as you are making the attempt to lead the right kind of life.

I have to say it's worth the time and effort to find a kind of church that is following God's will. Not neccessarily which denomination, but a kind of church that has a heart for people and a love for God and a desire to know and do what God wants. It's worth it to seek that kind of church. It took us a while to find the right kind of church even though we visited several with the same denomination of the church we are members in now. Sometimes it may seem like it's taking a while, but just keep visiting and keep your ears open for what recommendations others give that you know and trust

Keep us posted!

stark tjej · 05-02-2005, 06:17 PM

Southernangel,
It's great that you and DF are looking to become involved in a community of God for support. God made us that way - to need and support eachother. I would encourage you to go with the list of churches you have made (and maybe looking too to see what is close to where you live if you haven't yet) and pray together with DF a lot about God giving you a peace about where to connect. God will provide the right community for you.
Being a part of a church isn't always easy - there are people who will disagree and hurt eachother - but as a representative of God in the world and community it is important to see past conflicts and work things out where ever you end up (wherever God has brought you).
Any church you are interested in would be very happy to talk with you about the programs they offer (call the office) and possibly even set up an appointment to meet the pastor just to get to know the church if you would like (at least churches I've been familiar with in the past and present would LOVE to).
I encourage you to find a place where you feel you can be involved - serving others in God is a great way to grow and get on a good path for the future.
Hope you have fun on your visits and in your prayers with DF about the future.
ST

cystsBgone · 05-08-2005, 10:56 PM

Hi Kristy, just wanted to see how you and your DF were doing? Have you found anything that looks promising for you and your DF in terms of a church and/or help?

Prayers all around for you

Be blessed

southernangel · 05-10-2005, 03:38 PM

yes we have found a church that we really like. at first i thought i wasn't gonna like it because all spanish speaking ppl go to the church. no english is spoken. Thank god i speak, read and write fluent spanish (df is guatemalan but speaks english just as well as i do spanish). many of his friends go there and its helped alot. We still have a LONG way to go but it seems like everything is soooo much easier now. thank you all for your support

Jashobeam · 05-14-2005, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southernangel

yes we have found a church that we really like. at first i thought i wasn't gonna like it because all spanish speaking ppl go to the church. no english is spoken. Thank god i speak, read and write fluent spanish (df is guatemalan but speaks english just as well as i do spanish). many of his friends go there and its helped alot. We still have a LONG way to go but it seems like everything is soooo much easier now. thank you all for your support

So glad to hear that you have found a church you like

KatCarney · 05-14-2005, 11:12 PM

Congratulations on finding a church you like!

I just found a church home, and I LOVE this church! I can't wait for Sunday to come, and I'm probably going to start going to Bible Study. (Actually, I will ABSOLUTELY be going to Bible Study.)

It's been a LONG time since I've regularly attended church. It's good to be home.

Lfgd20 · 05-15-2005, 12:08 AM

I am so glad you found a church!! I am still hunting, trying to find one with people my age...which is hard to do, even though I live in a college town!