we're back (long)

jen-duck · 06-21-2003, 05:53 PM

With mixed emotions- happy we went- sadden because we
had to leave Joel Armando there.

We arrived Sunday at 10:00pm. The airport was a scary place- and our taxi (from the hotel we stayed at) had a flat tire- so it took awhile for us to leave the airport. we got to the hotel around 11:00pm. too late to order any food- and BOY was I hungry- we couldn't sleep- waiting and wondering when we were to get Joel. as no one told us anything.

Monday- finally fell asleep around 3am- and woke up at 7am for breakfast. We went downstairs to the restruant where only people staying in the hotel can eat- and saw MANY MANY police/sercurity people everywhere.with machine guns and handguns. our hotel even had an guard with a gun- 24 hours a day. the breakfasts were included in the price of the hotel- it was ok (food wise) we got a call around 8:30 up in our room- and it was the interpeter- our facilator was not in town yet- and he wanted her to go to the orphange to get joel and bring him to us- so by 9am- there she was with her teenage sun- and Joel- with only a small tupperware of powder milk and one bottle (no extra diapers/clothes/toys-nothing) he didn't cry we went to me- put his head on my shoulder- looked up at me- and grabbed my index finger. and wouldn't let go. (the teenage son- said he wouldn't grab his finger nor his mom's) we got the little information the place gave the interpeter- they left- and we started our visit- It was a good thing my mom insisted that I pack diapers/toys/different sized clothes- they had him in a size 24 bibs- and he was a size 9- he's a big boy- 20lbs- but still small) he's 7 1/2 months old

I won't go into detail- but we'll just say- he had a little cold and still never really fussed- only cried when he wanted his bottle- (we even packed an extra bottle-GOOD thing too) he LOVED his toys- he is teething- bottle 2 teeth- so he loved chewing on our fingers- toys etc... he would lay his head on my chest and fall asleep- and also bonded very nicely with DH- they had daddy and son morning time- as I would put him to bed- and they let me sleep in until 7-8 am- Joel would wake up at 5 am!!!!!!!!!

I got to change my first poppy diapers, first cold, experience teething- and seeing him- for the first time get up on his hands- and knees and rock- TRYING so hard to crawl!!! and roll over by himself! and stand on my tummy- and bend his legs- bouncing up and down- it was WONDERFUL....

then the hard part- FRIDAY morning- they had us keep him one more night- since the interpreter again- picked us up friday morning and drove us to the orphange (8 kids- 2 babies (18months and Joel) and 4 on up to 10.)

We got there- and all the kids and workers came up to me holding joel and were calling out his name- but he wouldn't respond- just put his head back on my shoulder and hugged me so tight! the workers started crying and through the interpter they said he forgot about them just in 5 days- he won't remember us when you come back and get to bring him home.
Joel started crying- I started crying- we all sat down- DH and I and Joel still grabbing me tight on the couch and the interepter to our left and the caregiver (facilators SISTER!) and the other caregiver (THIER MOTHER!!!!!!!) and a little boy to our right (which we found out was the caregivers son- so our facilator's nephew) so it's a family run orphagne with 4 other workers so they get plenty of care! made me so happy to see that! anyway- we talked for 2 hours- about our case- they said we were in family court- and they way joel's been lucky (his abanonment papers went REALLY fast- the 18 months that has been there since birht- just got his decree the day before so it took 18 months for this other boy while Joel's only took 2 months)
They ALSO told us- that since his abandonment was before march 5th - we are considered PRE- MARCH 5th!!! which I'm not sure if I believe or not- taking it with a grain of salt- because we didnt' send any paper work entil early april/late march. They figured we would be coming back (his adoption would be done) in like 2 months- which (THOSE PEOPLE DOING GUATEMALA MAY KNOW or understand) I'm also taking with a grain of salt. it would be SO nice, but I don't think so- I asked how long the 2nd step would take- the pre- approval from the Embassy and the interperter- which works for MANY different agencies said 48 hours!?@???
then PGN- and because we are pre- march 5th- we should get out of it within 6 weeks. OH do I pray they're right-

anyway- we got all our information we needed and needed to catch our flight- so I gave Joel to the caregiver and he just cried like he never did before- I JUST turned around and balled like a baby myself- and we walked away- MY GOD THE HARDEST THING I"VE EVER HAD TO DO!!!!!!!!! Dh started crying too-

PLEASE say a prayer for us-
that Joel will come home SOON. he needs us! and we need HIM!!

thank you so much for the support everyone-
i'll post some pictures of him as soon as dh gets off work (yet we got home at 10pm last night- and he had to be to work by 6am!)
and downloads the digital pictures. (we brought that and a regular camera and a video camera-) and took MANY MANY pictures. I'll post a few of our favorites-

He's such a good boy!
jennifer

Lisa67 · 06-21-2003, 06:24 PM

My heart is so full right now, Jen! What a beautiful story. I felt like I was there watching it all! I'm sure you had a great time with your little one & I can only imagine how heartwrenching it was for you to leave him.

I'll say lots of prayers that your case is handled quickly. I know how hard the waiting is...I'm starting to struggle a bit right now too.

Take care!!

KGJacob · 06-22-2003, 12:32 PM

I am so glad your visit went well. I am sure it was very hard to leave.

Here is where we are at: we were also told the approval from the US embassy would take about 48 hours, that was 6 weeks ago. We are wayyyy pre-March 5th and this process is getting very frustrating.

Reportedly our case went to the US Embassy and they held it for a month and then gave it back to the attorney for new forms, even though we are pre-March 5. We have to have the embassy approval for the DNA test. So, our dossier was submitted January 30th and we still haven't gotten a DNA test yet (which sounds like a step you won't have to do because it is an abandonment case).

So, I hope your case goes as smoothly as your agency thinks. Good Luck.

Lisa75 · 06-22-2003, 03:03 PM

Joel is so loved, I replied to you on the other thread, but I will apply again. I think you have the strongest heart. Your wonderful parents, and there is no doubt that Joel absolutly adores his mama and da-da. He loves you so much. I just pray that this goes by fast for you. I know it has to be the hardest thing in the world to do. When I think of your story, that country song "I'm already there" comes to my heart. I can just feel my eyes full of tears wanting to cry for you. I know when I read that, it was like I felt every moment. I can't wait till Joel is "home". Please Lord let it be quick. God be with you and yours. You've got a heart of gold.

I'm so glad you got to go see your baby and hold him and kiss him. I can't wait till your able to do that everyday of his life. ((Hugs)) sweetie.

God bless you.

Lisa75

dms · 06-22-2003, 10:21 PM

Oh my gosh Jennifer, I am crying right now. I am so happy/sad for you. I'm glad that you got to spend time with Joel and that you bonded so well. What a blessing! I'm glad that you made it home safe too. But, I am sad that you miss your little boy so much and I'm sure he misses you too. I will say a special prayer for you that Joel can come home soon. Take care of yourself and keep the faith that it will happen. Some day you will "forget" this pain of seperation because some day, he will be yours and you will never need to walk away from him again.

Stay strong. God bless.
Dawn

websissy · 06-22-2003, 11:04 PM

Jen-Duck:

Thanks for sharing your story with us! Joel is a lucky kid to have parent's like you. I just hope the process goes quickly and he can be with you and DH soon. I never realized how complicated Gautamala adoptions are. We were hoping to adopt from Panama, but are on hold until after our birth baby is born. We have all of our approvals, just using this time to learn more about Panama and adoption.

Best Wishes,