We survived . . . Roll Call!

VivC · 05-09-2005, 01:58 AM

How did everyone make it through Mother's Day? I wanted to stay in bed feeling sorry for myself, but my Mom insisted on dragging me out. Here's a brief synopsis of my day:

10 a.m. Hubby came in before leaving for work, said "Happy Mother's Day, I sent you an e-card." Am still ticked off at this moment because he doesn't think 36 hours of back labor (before they'd give me the epidural) warrants a REAL card. Come on, even with our problems, don't I deserve at least THAT?

Laid in bed until 3 p.m. feeling sorry for myself. Considered calling my Mom and telling her to go to dinner by herself, she's being incredibly selfish, etc. Reconsidered the selfish part, since she's gone out of her way to be otherwise supportive through the Rivi crisis and beyond. Continued to lay there considering canceling dinner.

3 p.m. Little brother called to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Told him I didn't want to go out with Mom, and he told me to get off my dead @ss and stop feeling sorry for myself

. Pointed out that I have a RIGHT to feel sorry for myself, and he said that I do. Then he asked me if I could possibly feel any worse than I did right then. Honestly said no, and he told me to just go out to dinner with Mom, and maybe it might make me feel better. Hung up on him and fumed for 10 minutes, when he called back. He kept calling every 10 minutes until I had to get out of the house or be driven crazy by the phone.

4:30 p.m. Went to pick up Mom, who gave me flowers. Took her to Cheesecake factory, where Hubby met us. Cried when we were seated beside a table FULL OF KIDS

. When Mom explained the situation, the waiter moved us to a private table in a corner of the restaurant. Waiter kept coming to check on me, so he got a NICE tip. Actually felt a little better by the end of the evening. Kind of glad I went out after all.

I hope everyone found a few happy moments today to reflect on their little ones.

canadianmutation · 05-09-2005, 02:27 AM

((hugs))
Your boy was with you today even if he wasn't there....

I can't say I handled the day well. Cried my eyes out at church. But things will get better-- they have to.

ms_sweet_kimmy · 05-09-2005, 07:39 AM

i recently lost my baby.. i was 6weeks 5 days..... my whole family was so excited about dh and i having a baby.. first baby ever........ everyone kept saying what a wonderful gift.. right on time for mother's day... now our lil angel is in the heavens... anyway.. for mother's day.. we were all (dh, sis, uncle, aunt, bro, and lil cousins) at my mom's house for mother's day..I really didn't want to go.. but i did anyway because i also wanted to thank mom for always being there for me... Things were going ok until my uncle came.. they have a 7 month old adorable lil boy (max) and everytime max sees me, he gets real excited. My uncle didn't know our angel left us... so he greeted me a happy mother's day... and i said.. i lost the baby.. i didn't want to cry..but he started apologizing with tears in his eyes... so i started to cry too... then.. lil max kept trying to get my attention and i finally held him.. right when i held him.. i couldn't fight back all the tears i had........ i took max in the room with me and dh was watching tv. Dh and i played with him and i felt better. Dh and i felt that even though our lil angel left us... she/he made us feel his/her presence.

I guess you could say that mother's day turned out ok........

Sherri75 · 05-09-2005, 10:45 AM

I didn't go into Mother's Day with big hopes because I know how my dh is. Thankfully my parents and grandparents are on vacation so I didn't have to worry about the big family get together with all the kids around. Instead, the inlaws came over for lunch. After lunch, dh and I went to Lowe's and bought shepards hooks that attach to the deck and I bought some beautiful hanging baskets of flowers from the greenhouse down the street. It makes me feel better to see those hanging from the deck.

kwannabee · 05-09-2005, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Actually felt a little better by the end of the evening. Kind of glad I went out after all.

Viv i was hoping you'd say that...even after everything i'm glad you went out with your mom too. And a big pat on the back for your waiter too...[[[hugs]]]

I was thinking of everybody yesterday...if its any consolation (which i know it isnt) i spent my mothers day distracted with my 5 yr old who came down with croup and my dog that kept peeing on my carpet... :o no wine and roses for me!! All those hallmark commercials are a total crock...but they're over now...i winced everytime one of them came on. Dh did sneak me off the couch to go out for a quick brunch...and i had a hard time with little girls in strollers...there was alot of them...but i'm doing okay too.

hugs to you all!!

VivC · 05-09-2005, 11:30 AM

Canadian - I skipped church because I KNEW I'd lose it once mothers were mentioned.

Kimmy - You deserved the "Happy Mother's Day" from your Uncle, since you'll always be your angel's Mommy. And I'll bet your little one WAS using Max to say hello to you. That happened to me not long ago with a total stranger - The kid toddled over and held up his hands for me to pick him up. His mother was shocked because he's usually very shy. I think our babies often use little hints to let us know they're with us.

Sherri - I hope you smile every time you look at the plants. They're a nice reminder. Just don't kill them, okay?!?

Kim - Sorry, but I'm laughing. Leave it to the dog to lighten the mood. I hope your son gets better soon - it must suck to deal with his illness now. AND you're on bedrest, too? ARGH!

Viv

GabrielsMom · 05-09-2005, 12:03 PM

ms_sweet_kimmy, I'm so sorry for your loss, and doubly sorry that it had to happen around Mother's Day. I'm glad to hear you have a supportive family.

My DH bought me the ring that I wanted for Mother's Day. It's Gabriel's birthstone in the shape of a heart. My DH is a such a sweetie. I'm so lucky to have him.

I drove to CT to visit my family for Mother's Day. We bought a ton of food and my uncle grilled some ribs. My dad even came over (which is rare) and asked me how I was doing. I've had difficulty with him since Gabriel was born because he just didn't understand what was going on. For example, he thought that if the doctors tried, Gabriel could have been saved. I had to explain to him that at 19w5d, it was hopeless. Which was NOT something that I had wanted to have to do. But, he has mostly left me alone since. Well, yesterday he asked me if I was pregnant again (like I wouldn't have announced it if I was!), and I told him we weren't trying yet. Ugh. I can tell that people are going to drive me crazy when I do get pregnant again (and even if I don't). Later on in the afternoon, after the festive lunch, I felt very emotional and last night I had a lot of anxiety.

So, I survived, mostly. But today I feel like $#!7. At least it is over with.

Phoenix Rising ^^^ · 05-09-2005, 12:24 PM

Viv, I'm glad you made it through.

As for me, I had to work. I broke down a few times, but, my co-workers never knew it. I called DH once and cried so hard, his Grandmother talked to me for a while and she cried with me. She has lost three (adult)sons. We both talked about how broken our hearts are. MIL talked to me about having hope for the future. I called my mother on Saturday to tell her I wouldn't be over on Sunday. I told her I wouldn't be celebrating Mother's Day this year. She said she understood. DH went over to her house and came back with a gift, it was a praying angel figurine. She also sent a beautiful card with some wonderful sentiments handwritten inside. What she wrote made me cry. DH read the card and asked me "why won't she tell you these things to your face?" I just shrugged my shoulders.

For the rest of the evening DH and I just spent time together. We talked a lot about our babies and how much we love them. We talked about our feelings toward God, and our feelings about the future. We are TTC again!

Gina

AvivaElona · 05-09-2005, 01:37 PM

It wasn't bad. Better than last year for sure. My husband made me a very sweet card which talked about both of our children. My brother called to wish me a very happy "first" mother's day and I explained to him that it wasn't our first, that last year counted too. He was cool about it and I didn't cry, just thanked him for calling. My husband cooked a nice dinner for me and his mom and her husband. It was low key and pleasant...more sweet than bitter overall but I missed Isaac a lot.

Aviva

saluki_fan · 05-09-2005, 02:27 PM

My Mother's Day was OK. ***warning PG mentioned*** I had been instructed to "take it easy" and not go anywhere all weekend on Saturday because I was spotting. So that's exactly what I did. But yesterday, the spotting was pretty much gone and my mom came over and DH and I took her to Houlihan's. We went early, so it wasn't crowded or anything. My dad is still in the hospital, so he couldn't go with us.

DH gave me a nice card, signed by him, all our angels, the present one which he is calling "Quattro", and all our pets, including our angel doggy Toby. He also gave me flowers on Friday night, and cheesecake on Saturday. He was very thoughtful.

So DH and my parents and my neighbor all wished me a happy Mother's Day. Not one single other person in my family (including my brother & sister), DH's family, or any of my friends did. I am trying not to be hurt about that, but I need to remember my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) are not really in my life, and DH's family has never been very considerate towards him or me. I'm trying not to let myself get upset or insulted by it, but it can be difficult.

Gina, I wish you the best of luck on this new TTC journey.

VivC · 05-09-2005, 02:46 PM

Adrianne - Today's hard on me, too. Everyone is asking the other mothers how their M.D. was, and nobody's saying a word to me (but my immediate boss did go out of her way on Friday to tell me to have a nice M.D.). I can't wait for this day to be over, so I can go see my therapist. I realized yesterday that it was also the 3rd anniversary of my Dad's death. So I was doubly bummed. And I feel guilty because I'm so wrapped up in thoughts of Rivi that I forgot

.

Gina - congrats for moving to TTC! Good luck - sending baby dust your way.

Aviva - Isaac was with you guys yesterday, and I'm sure he was so excited that this Mother's Day was good for you.

Meghan - If Missouri was within driving distance, I'd come kill you in 9 months! When your doc says not to go anywhere, can you PLEASE not go anywhere? Sorry - my mother hen just jumped out. I hope your dinner was GREAT!

Viv

saluki_fan · 05-09-2005, 02:51 PM

Viv, I'm sorry. Don't be mad! (smile) They didn't exactly say not to go anywhere, they just said "take it easy, no heavy lifting, yardwork, etc." I interpreted that as "don't go anywhere."

I am at work right now, but my boss said he'll let me take time off if I need it, and just to let him know.

Phoenix Rising ^^^ · 05-09-2005, 03:29 PM

Thanks Viv! I'll still be here with everyone else though. Because I am still coping with my losses. It still helps me to talk about them, and hopefully help someone else in the process.

I went over to the TTC board just to lurk a bit and see what it's like being so hopeful again. We are trying but, things are not yet in full swing. I am scheduled to have a Bartholin's cyst removed at the end of the month, so after healing from that we will truly get serious about conceiving again. Yes, we've been BDing a little, mostly we're NOT trying to prevent a possible pg. If it does happen this month, I can postpone the surgery.

I'm glad we all got through Mother's Day, it was tough.

Gina

saluki_fan · 05-09-2005, 03:39 PM

Gina, what is a Bartholin's cyst?

So sorry you had to work on Mother's Day. (I know I told you that before, though.)

Check out the thread "Hoping for Babies 2006", which I believe was started by Mjet. That's a great TTC thread! Also "TTC in Your 30's and 40's" and "TTC With Clotting Disorders." and "Hoping for Spring Babies 2006"...the ladies on these threads are incredible.

Phoenix Rising ^^^ · 05-09-2005, 04:01 PM

Meghan, if you reeeealy want to know here's a link for a good definition. http://www.aafp.org/afp/980401ap/980401e.html . I've finally gotten the nerve to get this removed after having two in office procedures that were unsuccessful. I really hoped to have the surgery back in March or April (before my HSG)so that I would be healed by now. The surgery is not an emergency so, if I get a BFP before the end of the month we can postpone.

Gina