We were presented with....need advice.

samstars · 07-13-2005, 11:20 PM

I have always said it would be wonderful if a lady who didnt want to keep her child (baby) came up to us and said you guys are so wonderful I want you to raise my child. But being realistic I didn't think it would ever happen.....well

A girl I work with came up to me today and said she wanted to share a story with me and my name was mentioned. Being a little hesitate I was a little worried.

She started out by saying that her father had an adopted son that had treated her father really badly and has been a drug addict for quite a while. Well he married a lady and I believe she said they had these two children one 18 now and one 10 years old now. Well the mother passed away and her father fought to get the two children away from his adopted son and eventually parental rights were terminated. Now her father and stepmom took the two kids in until stepmom was dx with cancer and had to have emergency surgery. Now the kids get sent to Arizona to live with the kids mother's sister. So great right they are with Aunt and Uncle. Well no. The Aunt and Uncle packed up their house and moved and left the 10 year old boy there and never even said bye. A neighbor took him in a month ago when this happened. A case worker here in Indiana called my co-workers father and stepmom to let them know that the neighbor turned them over to DCFS in Arizona.

Okay here's where my name comes in. Everyone at work knows that DH and I are wanting to adopt. She asked me if it would be a good idea to contact the local newspaper and put in an article looking for someone to adopt this little boy. I almost passed out---let me tell you.

My first advice was for her to see if they could get him back to Indiana and then we would see about fostering to begin with and possibly adopting him. I told her I would have to talk to DH but I knew he would be open.

Now where I need help is----is it possible for the father and stepmom who can't take care of him but are related (no other relatives are capable or want to take him) get him here with them and then tell DCFS they want him to come to our home and be fostered with the option of adoption if all goes well.

I am just freaking out. What if all goes well with Jacob and we are selected there also. Can we be so blessed to get two boys and have our forever family just like that. We had already decided on two children and that's it.

Anyone have any advice on how to proceed with this.

Stacy

~Traci~ · 07-14-2005, 12:05 AM

I think in order for the Father & Stepmother to get him back they would have to be approved by DCFS in AZ. There's no way they would release him to anyone that wasn't already checked out. So what you should do if you're serious about wanting to take him in is contact DCFS in AZ yourself and present them w/ the situation. Tell them you would be willing to take him in and adopt him and that you've already been approved through your state (which I'm assuming since you're waiting for the approval of Jacob). You may have to go through a few extra hoops since it's a different state but I don't see any problems.

That's how I understand interstate DCFS but I could be wrong since I'm not totally up on the processes and each state is different. I haven't really focused on adopting or even fostering from any state since we're adopting internationally.

Good Luck, it sounds wonderful for everyone involved!

Traci

lovelyinkedlady · 07-14-2005, 12:10 AM

you know i don't know. I think it would be a wonderful thing. I think the best thing to do would be to call DCFS and ask them. What harm could be done.

If they say no, I would suggest to talk with the grandparents, see how they feel about it and see if they will turn over parental rights to you and your husband.....would it be to much if they were allowed to keep in contact with their grand child? You can never have to many people to love you.

i will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prays and i hope this go through for you very very soon.

*pEaNuT* · 07-14-2005, 12:19 AM

GOOD LUCK!! *hugs*

samstars · 07-14-2005, 10:01 PM

Okay---we found out today that he is not yet a ward of the state of AZ and he is also not a ward of Indiana. The caseworker here spoke with the grandfather and he just couldn't see any way they could raise another child. All of their children are adults. They gave him a couple of days before processing the paperwork to make him a ward in AZ.

Ron and I discussed it at length last night and really decided we wanted to go for this. When I talked to my friend today and she gave me the above I asked her if her father would be willing to take his grandson on for a few days (to get him back here and in the system here)and would he be willing to talk to the caseworker and have him moved to our home as his foster parents with the option to adopt. She said she would talk to her father and see what he wanted to do.

She called him and let me know that her father was very, very excited and was willing to make some phones calls to dcfs here. She did get back with me and to make a long story short.

They are going to AZ to pick him up next week, the caseworkers here are checking things out to see if moving him to our home is possible. She did say that he told them he wants the boy to come to us, and he told her that he feels if he tells them that it has to be this way then it will happen.

The whole family is going on vacation next week so we probably won't know anything until after next week. Please keep the prayers going, Ron and I both feel strongly about this and his family has strong feelings about his coming to us and no where else.

This little boy was put in a group home in AZ where he knew no one. When the SW went to pick him up the people he was staying with hadn't even told him what was going on. He has spoken to his grandfather and they said he seems to be doing well.

Lovelyinkedlady: We are very open for him to have a relationship with all of his family here. It would only benefit us all. They are great people and only want what they feel is the best for him.
Thanks ladies.

Stacy

Babydust4me · 07-14-2005, 10:20 PM

Good luck to you!

I know when a family friend got into some heafty issues with the state and all that, my DH and I applied to be foster parents for her 2 children. Zanner and Olvia were 2 and 4 then. We were able to have them live with us while we went through the classes. My friend finally got her life in order about a year later and the children are doing great with her. We still see them once a week. So I know it CAN be done! Start looking into taking the foster parent to adopt program in your state and get a head start on that!
Good luck!!

samstars · 07-14-2005, 10:26 PM

Babydust4me: We are already licensed foster parents in our state. We took all the classes last year and have fostered 2 sets of siblings since becoming licensed. We are actually now getting ready to go to selection committee for a 4 year old boy up for adoption here in Indiana.

We are very excited and pray that dcfs will allow it all to happen, not for us or his extended family but for him. He so desparately needs a stable, loving home.

Stacy