Gnzls924

I am not the one pg....put your confetti away...lol

Well Matthew has been gone for 14 months now....and I think it's really hitting DH now. He just received a text message from his mom in Sri Lanka that his brother's wife is expecting a boy. It was revealed at her 20 week ultrasound. My husband would like his parents to think that this would be their second grandson, not their first. God bless his heart. But it is really bothering him that they are excited for his brother and they did not show that excitement for him, when i was pregnant.

First of all, HELLO DH and welcome to the program.

Secondly, I had to explain to my DH that things are different now. When I was pg, they didn't know who I was...there was no bond or any attachment because they never met me. In fact, back then, they probably wished I would fall off the face of the earth because I was not the wife picked out for him (in their culture, marriages are arranged.) But now, things are different because we made the trip to Sri Lanka in November 2005, and I've met his parents and now they love me. So I am sure that any future pg's if we are so blessed, will be celebrated like his brother's wife.

Thirdly, I had to explain to DH that although he now thinks that they were not overly excited about my pregnancy, he has to remember the distance factor. They are over 9000 miles away. I told DH he needs to remember the people that are here with us who celebrated our pregnancy and mourned our loss. When we went to the cemetery recently to visit Matthew, we saw so many little gifts for him around his headstone. These were gifts (angels, birthday cake candle, xmas wreath) that we did not place there, but other family members have. Other family members who went out of their way to visit him. We don't know who placed them there, but it was very nice to see them there. I think he forgets that...something that i will have to remind him.

I can only see this getting harder on DH. Hopefully I will have the strength to deal with it then.

Thanks for reading!

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Diana - 36!
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Our sweet angel, Mohamed Matthew Raymon Illyas,
born and at rest on November 30, 2004.
Lived only 30 precious minutes...(IC at 20 weeks)
Forever in our hearts, Together in our dreams.
We now live our life for you. We love you Matthew, our little Angel.

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skyler

[quote=Gnzls924]When we went to the cemetery recently to visit Matthew, we saw so many little gifts for him around his headstone. These were gifts (angels, birthday cake candle, xmas wreath) that we did not place there, but other family members have. QUOTE]


That is so sweet!

and (((Hugs))) for you and your hubby.

SheriKCMO

reality sure has a way of creeping up on us!! i'm sorry that family joys can also bring up pain by association. (((hugs)))

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Sheri:36 Hubby:36
Metformin 1500mg since 10/02, Yasmin since 4/06, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs

First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.

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Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks

Third pregnancy, Cerclage 8/13-1/19

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Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage 8/26-1/26

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Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs

Time to lose this weight!

Reebekah

although hard for your DH to understand/accept, i think the reasons you listed are clearly the reasons that they didnt seem as excited for you as they are for her. and i totally agree...things will be totally different during your next pregnancy. i know that future pregnancies (and people's reactions) dont change the past... but they do make the future a little bit easier. also, if they do at any time refer to that new boy as the first, i would not hesitate to remind them that he is NOT the first.

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Becky
~Miscarriage, March 2004, 5 or 6 weeks~
~Angels Marissa & Gabriella, 9/4/04, 20 weeks, due to IC/PTL/PPROM/Incompetent Doctors~

~MICAH BORN SAFELY AT 8lbs11oz AT 39w4d ON 12/31/05 AFTER SUCCESSFUL PREVENTATIVE CERCLAGE!!!!!~
~MALACHI BORN SAFELY AT 8lbs6oz AT 39w1d ON 10/17/07 AFTER SUCCESSFUL PREVENTATIVE CERCLAGE!!!~

VivC

I'm with Becky - hubby should remind them that this isn't their first grandson, if they get TOO weird with it all.

I love the fact that other people are leaving Matthew gifts. ((Hugs)),

Viv