I don't really know what I want to say. I am blue, I am a little numb. I am having my second miscarriage. Second dr. confirmed, rather. This one is my worst. I don't really talk about my others. I feel bad in saying that. I just don't talk about them. I guess it's how I cope. This time though, it really kicking me in the butt. It's like everything is going wrong. This week was hard. 12 hour stay in the ER, heavy bleeding, cramping, feeling sick to my stomach... you name it.
I am not a religious person. Spiritual at times. I believe in Karma. I feel like Karma is really kicking our butts right now. Not only in losing this baby but this week everything has snowballed. 2 bills popped up that we didn't know we had. We are broke on payday. Isn't that lovely. John is mad at me... or rather just mad and directing it at me. He took 3 days off work this week and is taking half a day off today. He's been really great. Then when the news about the bills came he got really distant.
Conner, my son, is doing fine. He had some flip flopped sleep issues the day after the hospital but is doing fine now. He knows something is up... he's been really sweet to me lately.
I had a dream last night that I was breastfeeding a newborn. It was a nice bittersweet dream. Not sure what it meant though.
I guess I don't know what else to say. I am going to check in with my dr. next week and see if he needs to see me.
Thanks for letting me ramble on...
__________________
Deanna ~ 27 ~ Dx. PCOS 1999
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I'm so sorry you are going through this again. I don't have any words of wisdom, as it really sucks and you have to just go through the emotions, but I will keep you in my thoughts. If you need anyone to talk to, please pm me.
Each day does get a little easier. Its been 2 months since my M/C and I still get teary and even have a good cry every few days. Im over the anger though. Those first couple of weeks I bounced between sad, angry (at God, DH, myself, everyone around me), depressed, hopeless, and back again. The anger was the worst. I think DH went through those same emotions, he just doesn't share them. He kinda pulled away...which only made me more angry. I hope your feeling better and can fid a balance in emotions.
__________________
Sarah 30, DH Matt 31, Foster Son 17
IVF #1 Quinten Patrick born 3/17/06 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
IVF #2 "Lilly" ended in mc 7/21/2007 at 5.5 wks, IVF#3 11/2007: BFN, IVF #4 4/2008: BFN To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
IVF #5 8/2009: BFN To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
]
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I'm sorry for your loss and your bad week! I hope that you and DH can communicate and figure out how to get through this. I have found that I started grieving all over again after having living children because I knew just what I was missing. Now that you have Connor, this loss might be hitting harder on your heart. One of the fathers in our local support group mentioned that he was angry his daughter's sibling was stolen away, too. I had never looked at it like that. Regardless, there is so much lost when you know what it actually is, kwim? Many hugs coming your way!
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Well... here I am... (living child ment.) 
