It wasn't really a support group, cuz it was me, the social worker, and a couple. But oh well. It went well, no crying. We just talked about everything. This woman was 2 days overdue, and they found no heartbeat and induced her. So she lost a baby much farther along that I did. Her husband was a really nice, makes you wonder how come not all men are like that. So it went well. It helped...putting faces on others who feel the pain. But I wish more people would have come. So I told the social worker to start mailing reminders 1-2 weeks after the loss, not the day of. and also include a email address and set-up some sort of email list, since it's often easier to start talking online. I figure if women talked online for this group, they'd get comfortable enough to come in person. Like here, don't you just wish you could hang out with the women here who actually know what you're going through?
So yeah. The group meets every 2 weeks, so I think I'll go again next week. I hope I won't be the only one to register to come!
Anyway, thought i'd share. Things went well..it was worth the $5 parking fee
Oh, and I finally got the nursing pads for my bra..yay..dryness! And yes, someone must remind me to buy cabbage. This women said she did it and it really worked.
Anyone want to come to Pittsburgh and visit me??? It's nice to talk face to face, it's different...I'm not used to...people...being there...lol
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Daniel Benjamin born/died October 4, 2004. Ari Lev born/died May 21, 2005.
I'm glad you found it helpfull My losses were far less advanced than yours i had 3 m/c but I too went to a support group & it really helped! Hope you are doing a little better.
__________________ dx.pcos 2001
dx.Antiphospholipid syndrome 2004
4 Angel Babies
TWO MIRACLES! Zane Sebastian! May 3rd 2006!!!! Sienna Rayne January 3rd 2008!!!!
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I am glad you went...I know it will be very helpful to talk it out and maybe that couple will become good friends with you. I also went to a group after my m/c and it helped me out.
__________________ Cathy 36
Lee 40
Married Feb 12, 1994
HSG Nov 2004
Brandon Aug 8, 2005
Renee,
I'm so glad you went. You are very brave to try it so soon. I just knew that I would do nothing but cry for the first few monts. You had some good ideas about the group.
As for getting some of us together... Your idea of a chat room is good, even a regularly scheduled one in a certain spot. I'm sure there are places like Yahoo that can hook up a group with a chat space. I haven't done much of that, so I just don't know details.
I'm sending you an email, too...
I'm very proud of you for giving yourself this new outlet to talk. You're so right about the different feeling of being face to face.
Best wishes,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Hope you girls don't mind be butting in over here. I just wanted to say that Renee I have been following your post. I'm soooo proud of you for reaching out and finding someone to talk to. It really sounds like you are taking positive first steps in dealing with your tragic loss.
BTW, if I could, I would definitely fly to Pittsburgh and visit you! : )
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Thanks everyone
I think it's just my Paxil finally working and helping control my social-anxiety disorder. Along with my sheer boredom, and desire to start a better life, filled with people, so my future babies have little buddies to play with, that helps me feel like this.
We talked about TTC last night. They got pg while on BCP, so they weren't trying, but they were happy and excited about the baby. Like us, they now realize how much they truely want a family and they are going to try again, too.
I want to TTC again. But I'm skeptically waiting for my follow-up. I don't know if this new ob/gyn will go along with giving me clomid or not. But I think I want to try again sooner than later.
My little boy has inspired me more than ever. He showed me the wonders of a life I could have, and even tho I was TTC for so long, I honestly had NO idea it's something I wanted SO bad!
Anyway, thanks for all the support here. It helps to talk to people who actually understand. I kind of hate people who want to know details, have no idea what I went through, and can never say the right thing.
Ohh..and must get that cabbage today.
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Daniel Benjamin born/died October 4, 2004. Ari Lev born/died May 21, 2005.
(((hugs))) I've not been on for a couple days, but I am so glad, you sound like you are doing better. I am glad you went to the support group. I'm jealous that yours meets every other week. Ours is only once a month and by the 3rd week, I'm not doing so well. I like the idea of a chat room. I visited some bereavement sites right after losing Tucker, haven't been doing so quite as often lately. If you are interested, one is www.silentgrief.com and another is Share (don't remember the addy, so put in search engine). I would love to meet you! Sometimes I wish I was rich so I could meet so many wonderful people I've met here! Anyway, I'll just send you some hugs for now.
__________________ Tonya, 35
Jonathan (DH), 44
Kaitlyn (DD), 14 on January 25th
Tucker Dean Mills, born still 4/16/2004
Daniel (DS), born October 31, 2005...STILL exclusively breastfed...he refuses to eat!
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***site contains pictures***
Metformin 1000mg AM and PM
Labetalol 100mg AM and PM (HTN)
Prenatal Vitamin daily
Well, since the gals seem to like the idea, there is a chat program we can use. I used to use iVisit ( http://www.ivisit.com/ )
It's voice, video and text chat. If one person pays (it's cheap), then we can set up a private room we could all go to. I can pay, but not until next month or so. (money sucks, eh?)
You don't NEED a video thing or mic, it's easy to use with just chatting. I have a webcam, which I must snag back from my mom. Until then, I have a built in mic i can use.
I have a mac, so I can't use most other chat programs (even web based ones). So that is why I use that program. It's free, semi-easy, and well..it works.
So if anyone wants to try that, go ahead...we'll set up and time to meet.
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Daniel Benjamin born/died October 4, 2004. Ari Lev born/died May 21, 2005.
I believe SilentGrief is a christian site? I personally found it a little too religiously christian for me to feel comfortable there.
Aviva
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I just wanted to say that I think it is wonderful that you went to a support group meeting and I hope that you do continue to go, they can be so helpful.
I am in school to get my social work degree and one of my projects this semester was setting up a support group for women who are exeriencing infertility and miscarriages (I just set it up, we did have an MSW facilitating). There were some weeks when only a few people showed and some weeks when LOTS of people showed. Either way, the people who were there always got something out of it. It was a very selfish project for me to do since it was something I could benefit from, too, but I am so glad I did it. It is amazingly freeing to be with women who understand you and know just what you are going through. I have more hope, more confidence, more love, more tolerance, and more friendships than I ever had before because of it.
Good luck in your journey of healing. (((HUGS))) to you.
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Ellie
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I wish I could come visit. Not having money does suck.
I'm glad you went to the support group and it helped you some. The groups in our area won't even give us info until it's been six weeks (Like we won't be grieving until then). And DH says he won't go, so I'll have to go without him (he says our church will be enough support, but none of them have been through this!).
Leaking/sore boobs - I'm getting cabbage today. I finally gave in last night and put a heating pad on my sore boobs. It made them leak (and me cry) more, but they felt so much better! Today they're not as sore, but maybe it's just wishful thinking...
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Doesn't it figure. I bought cabbage last night, but today my boobs aren't sore and I haven't leaked yet. Grr...I hate cabbage, so now I'm prolly stuck with it.
Well, we have crickets to feed our gecko, they eat cabbage, maybe I'll give them some of it before I toss it.
By golly it's cold. I thought that to myself this morning, then thought of Daniel and was afraid he's cold, too.
My brother called, to tell me my dad is breathing on his own now, and was able to get up and sit in a chair. And he keeps on asking about me. I can't talk to him, because he'll ask me how I'm doing, and I can't lie. I won't lie. So I have to wait. Until he knows. See if he can take the news.
It's just so cold, and I'm feeling so...b lah today. Looked at the memory box, looked at his pics. First time in a bit, and I still cried. I miss him so much, and miss the dream of the life I was going to have. I was going to be a mommy, I was going to have the son I always wanted. The life I always wanted. And it's gone, and I just hate it.
I'm going to turn up the heat and watch sad girlie movies for the rest of the day, bah...
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Daniel Benjamin born/died October 4, 2004. Ari Lev born/died May 21, 2005.
Renee, I just wanted to say...You are a mommy! You are Daniel's mommy!
I'm glad to hear your dad is doing a little better, and you sound like you're doing better too.
Anyway, someone mentioned silentgrief being a Christian site. I never even thought about it, but yes, it is. Sorry.
__________________ Tonya, 35
Jonathan (DH), 44
Kaitlyn (DD), 14 on January 25th
Tucker Dean Mills, born still 4/16/2004
Daniel (DS), born October 31, 2005...STILL exclusively breastfed...he refuses to eat!
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***site contains pictures***
Metformin 1000mg AM and PM
Labetalol 100mg AM and PM (HTN)
Prenatal Vitamin daily
Renee,
We are sad moms. That's just the way it is. But no one can take away the dream of one day holding a child in our arms and raising him or her just as we would have done for the first one. The dream is still alive, unfortunately it can't be fulfilled with our firstborn children. We have to make it come true next time around. It will take time to separate the two, but there will be days in the future when you will have hope. We will always have our little ones, right next to our hearts, but we can go forward and be happy someday as well. I'm sure they would be very pleased to know that their mothers are living fulfilling lives when the time feels right.
And I am so glad that your dad is making some improvements. I know that you must really want to talk to him, but I understand how fragile he must be. It might be better to send him a quick card, and I know some get well cards say things like "I hear you're feeling better" etc. And just jot down a quick statement that you are thinking of him all the time and love him and such. This way he would hear from you without detail or lying.
Best wishes,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Went to first support group meeting. 
