We're Losing It": Diaries of The Big, The Bad and The Sexy! Part V - Page 3

tigir · 10-08-2007, 08:55 PM

LAURA!!! WOO HOO!!! I am glad you are back!

The suspense is killing me - fill us in on what you have been up to the last few months!

Yeah, I am pg - thank you for the congrats!

I was a little surprised it happened on the first try and there are times it still doesn't seem real. Things are going good and I have been feeling baby move a lot. We decided not to find out again so another little surprise. LOL

Hope you and the family are all doing well and you don't stay away so long!

flamenca · 10-09-2007, 05:32 AM

Mee too, I want to know what kept you away, Laura. Don't worry about a lenghty post - I am quite happy to settle down with a cup of coffee and read your "novel", LOL!

Tina

tigir · 10-12-2007, 03:25 AM

Okay Laura....we're waiting! LOL

Well, I figured I would post my weight on here since tomorrow is Friday and I may not be on at all (going thrift store shopping with DDs - looking for a few neutral wintery baby things).

I have been going between 195 and 200 (Dr. scale - mine says 185/190). So, being I am already about 21 weeks, I may just end up at least 20lbs lighter at the end of this!

Of course we haven't gotten past the holidays...that may change things. LOL But boy, what a great way to take off the extra holiday pounds!!!

Hope you gals have a great weekend in case I don't check back until next week!

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS · 10-13-2007, 11:30 AM

Hey, sorry I feel off again...but I gotta get back on here...

Okay..well in short..cuz its been soo long.

I started working...losing weight...looking and feeling better about my self. Met a guy...younger guy....had sex with him...cuz Michael and I have been going through somethings..and I guess I was feeling like neglected and I needed attention.

So I slept with him 1 time late march..and we had an affair pretty much. Seeing each other....I helped him out with money...alot...he was playing me and I knew it but I didnt care. It was attention. Michael went out of town for 3mths then came back and was out of town of and on for another 2 months...all this time I was still chatting, textin and seeing AJ...Michael knew about it. I told him I wanted a divorce cuz I wasnt happy...havent been for years and he knew it...so then all the sudden he changed...or said that he would do anything to keep me here...
I wasnt leaving him for the guy..but I wanted to leave to live a better life. So he still went on trips...our move dates were pushed back time and time...it should have been June but we just moved here Sept 10th. Anyway...he went behind my back and tried to pay the guy 2 times to leave me alone..the guy went along wit it both times...so they were both wrong. Death threats were made, cursing out sessions...crazy and ghetto things...
Michael had him followed and all this other non sense stuff. I was Dazed and confused by this guy...I really liked him..eventho he really had nuthing to offer...but it was sumone new and different and I fell for him. All the time the boys were suffering cuz mommies head just wasnt on right throughout this whole thing. Like I couldnt think I was a different person.
Michael got a lawyer and he was about to divorce me over this...I wanted it too...but it was the KIDS...my boys....they dont deserve to be in a split home. I wanted to stay in Alabama...and he move to Mississippi by himself and come see his kids...or I stay in Atlanta @ my dads house rent free...but he wouldnt have that..
he wanted to live with his kids and I wasnt going to give them up. So for weeks and weeks we argued...then he wanted me to stop talking to AJ...he kicked me out of my own house and sent me to florida..that time I thot it was really over..but then he threatned more wit the divorce..and I knew I couldnt afford a lawyer..so I went to my dads house and started looking for work..just chaos!!!

So finally we agreed that I would we would seperate but live in the same home here in Mississippi for some time then I would eventually get my own place and share the custody. But things have calmed down...we are still distant but we are in counseling now with our church here...we just so happen to meet family/marriage counselors and we are talking things out. I am doing this for my boys...Michael and I both came from broken homes we never wanted that for them.

Oh, its been so much drama...Michael and I came to blows like fight...like brusies on bodies 2 times in this time...which was between April and Sept...it was just ugly and just mean.
From what the counselors is seeing.
Michael and I married young..we depended on each other then Michael started working and became a workaholic and had an affair wit it...he loved success and his work more then me or his family.
They said they cant believe we lasted 9years wit him doing that. We moved and moved...and the more succesful he became the more bitter and mean to me and the kids he became. He doesnt take stress and pressure good...and he would keep it all in and I would ask to go to lunch or how was your day and he would blow on me...or at me.

I just finally said enough..thats when I got the job and then I was tempted and I did it. It was the first time in 12 years I was with someone other then Michael. What shocked me is that I didnt really have any regrets or like felt bad after it. It was nice and different and I guess I wanted more of the good stuff instead of the bitter bad stuff. I became addicted to it. I went to another counselor before we moved..and he said that I may be imbalanced since I had the miscarriage and then the boys close together, I had depression and AJ became my antidepressant...because he lifted me up. And it was just to hard to let him go. It was. I still talk to him sumtimes...cuz I came to care for him..like he was my man or I want to still be friends. Wow...its been a HOT MESS here...and I never thot my life would go that route.

So we are here now...I am going to work on this marriage for the kids sake but we know if it ever gets back to that again..then we might as well end it. Because its better for a child to be raised in a broken home then a bitter bad home.

So thats the scope...he just finally started sleeping with me in the bedroom. like this week...its been since July or so we were actually seperated.

what a mess!

tigir · 10-16-2007, 06:18 AM

Oh Laura!

I am so sorry things have been going this way! No wonder you weren't here. Well, you can be assured I will be saying some prayers for you and your family. And of course you know you will always have a place to come for a shoulder, kick in the butt, whatever you need!

Take care of those little guys! More (((HUGS)))

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS · 10-17-2007, 10:22 AM

Yeah its been a mess...but im still here and just doing what I can to make my boys have a happy and healthy life. I got a job...I start Monday..its at a hospital here..did I mention that already?

Well I had to go in for bloodwork, urine and a TB skin testing...2 series...I believe I passed this one..she will look at my arm today to see if the injection she gave me looks good. I never did that before. I was wondering if they were going to give me a pap smear tooo...I mean goodness just to get a job...but hey the hospital is suppose to save and help people..so you cant have people working there that can make them sick!

Well the house still hasnt sold..so we are going over there to do a little bit more cleaning and detail...I will chjeck back soon!

Take Care

& Thanks for the hugs!

tigir · 10-17-2007, 12:47 PM

Laura ~ I am hoping things work out for you. Congrats on the new job! What will you be doing there?

Well, things here are pretty much the same. I have my Dr. appt. on Friday, so will most likely check back in after that. There just doesn't seem to be much going on, but I feel like we are always busy! LOL

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS · 10-22-2007, 08:43 PM

Well I should have started working today with the hospital job..doing sterlization of the used surgical tools...but i got another job offer last week..and its the same pay but closer to home and the work seem like its going to be more fun. Its a resturant...and it is like 5 mins from my house. The work seems soo easy and its the same pay...I mean its like a no brainer to me.

Other then that..we are just here in the house together trying to get along and providing a good home environment for our boys.

Camryn is like wheezing and just sick from the weather change. Payton is doing good.

Busy and just a mess...I dont know..

How is everyone else?

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS · 10-22-2007, 08:47 PM

Tam~ Do you know what you are having...is it another girl...I was the 4th girl in my family!

I am getting bit by that bug again...but we are in no position to go and do something like that. My period was 6days late this past cycle and you know what I thought for a hot second..but my name is not Mary. You know what I mean!

Hope yall are having a good week!

Bye!

tigir · 10-23-2007, 01:07 PM

Laura ~ Congrats on the job!!! That will be nice to be so close to home and have the same pay...AND something you will enjoy doing. It may keep you on your feet more too so you can keep working on that awesome weightloss!

We don't know what we are having yet. DH likes to leave that a surprise, and I can't know if he doesn't want to because I would be pulling out the pink or buying blue. LOL I was #3 out of 4 girls, no brothers.

I am hoping for a boy this time, but of course I won't be sad if it is a girl, they are too much fun! LOL

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS · 10-24-2007, 12:37 AM

Well congrats...

We didnt find out with either...but I just knew they were boys..for some reason..I dont know!

I was the last girl out of 4 girls...Im a girl..my mom is a girl...I even had a girl dog...so I was ready for boys...but I am secretly wondering bout having a girl...SHH!

dont tell nobody!

But yeah I am sure you will love him or her either way...another girl will jus add to the fun and a boy will be a knew kind of fun!

Thanks...I start the job tommorow ...im excited! I cant wait to get out and make some money of my own...I am wanting to buy a truck...like a Avalanche and ditch the mini van...I dunno I am just going through a phase or I call it a Quarter Life crisis..since Im only 27~ hahah!

Glad your doing okay...
Does this pregnancy hurt more or more uncomfortable. I remember with Camryn he just hurt more and just more pain with him..he was bigger and I did go natural with his birth...but he hurt or gave me some very uncomfortable days!

Tina~ Hey lady...where are you? On another world travel? Im soooo jealous I promise!

flamenca · 10-24-2007, 08:34 AM

Hey Laura!
I am here, no worries, just buried in work up to my neck... Last week I was indeed traveling - not the world, just in Scotland. And we didn't see anything besides the office and the hotel, LOL!

I have to keep it short as I am about to run in yet another meeting. Just wantedto say I am so sorry for what you are going through. it sounds like things have calmed down somewhat, but man, what a story ... The things that life throws at you sometimes - it's unbelievable. I am glad you got through it alright, and I hope things will work out ok for you in the long run. The first step is taken - you start a new job (very exciting - good luck with it and congrats!!). You are a strong, intelligent woman, you will piece the rest together as well.

Compared to yours, my life is boring, I will tell you more later, gotta go now.

Tina

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS · 10-25-2007, 03:02 PM

Tina~
Awww Thanks!

I needed that. This whole thing was definitely like an epsiode right out of Jerry Springer...Never in a million years did I think it would turn to that...it was a trashy but true life movie.but it is getting better. We still argue..and i am not still happy being in this marriage but I got Payton and Camryn and they need a mommy and daddy...
Oh goodness your life is definitely more exciting. You travel to scotland and here and there..thats is still and always will be cool to me...
Congrats on your weight loss! You are doing soo great!
I lost it..but I gained every single pound back. I havent worked out in like 3mths...so yes it creeped up back on me. Food became my best friend again. But with the new schedule of working and getting my life back on track it should fall back into place and I will get to where I want and need to be.

Tam~
How are you doing and feeling today?

flamenca · 10-26-2007, 05:34 AM

Laura,
my ticker isn't exactly up to date, ahem, I am back over 200 ... and it sucks. I haven't lost any weight this year - I only gained some.

I need to get back on track with my diet, but with work so hectic and stressful, I can't muster the energy to stay away from those comfort-carbs. KWIM? I hope after January, after my deadline, things will gradually get better again, and I will be able to lose all those other pounds. My goal for now is not to gain any weight over Christmas... yikes.

I commend you on trying to work things out with your husband, for your own sake and the sake of your kids. I am sending good vibes your way - it will surely take a long while till everything's worked out between you two...
And yes: Life can be a soap opera sometimes. Where else would the authors of those shows get their inspiration from?

Ok, back to work, got a meeting in a few minutes.
Tina

tigir · 10-27-2007, 02:22 PM

Laura ~ I hope your new job is going well!

I am feeling pretty good besides a cold we all caught. LOL This pg does have it's discomforts different from the others, but I had a c/s with the last one, so it could be because of scar tissue stretching. Not HORRIBLE, but every once in awhile I get twinges that are a bit stronger than my other pgs. I so LOVE my body pillow for bedtime! LOL

Tina ~ I hope you are gaining on all of that work! DH has been busy at work as well, so some later nights lately. I don't think he has stayed until 8pm though! LOL

Well, talk about drama! We have been struggling for money the past few months - fall is a hard time for us, but this fall has been a bit tougher with more medical expenses for DH, etc. But just when I thought things were going to calm down with that, my washing machine is going out!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Laundry-mat is not a real good option for us living where we do, that is just more money we don't have and a big ol' PITB! I had to do that for a year or more before we had redone the mudroom...do NOT want to go there again!

On top of that I am at least 200lbs again.

It was inevitable really, but so sad to see, iykwim. WAAAAA!!!!! My appt. went well, and really I have only gained a total of 4lbs the entire pg, which the Dr. was happy with. It will disappear pretty quickly after baby is here, just hate seeing that scale go back up. LOL