What can I do about all the fees? Please help, I am new here

RmmayGrace · 04-26-2009, 02:27 AM

Hi everyone, My name is Grace and my husband is Sal. We have been married for 4 1/2 years and are happy together.
The only thing is that we have been ttc since the beginning with no luck and I recently found out that I have pcos and Sal is very healthy (Thank God)
So its not impossible for us to conceive, but we have been thinking about adoption.
And truth be told, we have money saved up for a baby. But we don't have the kind of money for adoption fees.
I looked everywhere on the internet, but all the agencies are so expensive! It makes me wonder and sad that with fees like these, we will never be able to adopt.
So can anyone tell me, how should I go about doing this, because I don't want to break my husband's back for this. I there anyway we can adopt without paying thousands and thousands?

I am new to this board, please help me everyone

calches · 04-26-2009, 01:10 PM

First off, before you get daunted with the fees and everything else that can be overwhelming with adoption you need to consider that even with PCOS many women are successful when ttc. You can talk to your dr. and be put on met and clomid...I know for some that that can work...and others they have to go more invasive...IUI/IVF...It is what you are comfortable with in having a child.

When my dh saw all of the things that I was going to have to go through to figure out what we needed to do ttc he said that we were going to move onto adoption. That is where my heart was all of along...but dh wanted ttc...and so anyhow, when we were both finally on board for adoption we did the research and well...anyhow...yes, the fees are very expensive...I understand what you mean that you think you will never be able to afford it...but depending on what route you go through (international vs. domestic) the fees could be due in increments and that could help. You can also fundraise (there is a fundraising Yahoo group that they are a wealth of info)...trust me...ppl want to help and if you are willling to put forth the effort and work for it it will happen. There are loans and taking from 401k or taking a loan the 401k. It is all what you think that you need to do to bring your child home. (BTW, we fundraised/saved/toook from 401k/and a small loan).

Also do research on doing state adoption. I know alot of ppl on both sides that have had great experiences with state adoptions and others they had horrible experiences and have been scarred from it all together. If you were to do a state adoption it is all paid for by the state....so that could be the way to go...

Again it all starts with you doing research...and figuring out what ya'll comfortable with and going from there...

GL!

~Traci~ · 04-27-2009, 12:28 PM

I agree w/ calches. We did an international adoption (China) & the largest part of our fees were our travel (2 weeks in country). We didn't have to pay for that until the very end. Up until then our fees were in smaller amounts (I think the most @ a time was $2000 for homestudy/post placement fees). You could also look @ foster/adopt which I don't think costs anything. Also, you might know someone who knows someone that wants to find adoptive parents for their birth child (depending on what state you're in, you would just need an adoption attorney for that case but you'd have to look @ your state laws).

If you do want to TTC, you can certainly do that! There are many, many women on this board that have successfully TTC & just b/c you can successfully TTC doesn't mean that you can't adopt as well, you have many options!

Good Luck!
Traci

ProudPCOMom · 04-27-2009, 01:09 PM

We did Foster/Adopt through our state - we were very fortunate to adopt our first two foster children. They came at ages 10 and 24 monts - we adopted them just over a year later. Our adoptions were very low-cost, right around $1,000 each for lawyer fees. We did have to deal with the constant in-flux of people (CPS, ECI, Agency, etc), but that was only temporary until the adoptions were finalized.

Go to an information session if you are considering going through your state, same thing for internation/domestic adoption agencies. Find an agency you feel comfortable with and go with that.

Remember you can get back around $11,000 from your federal taxes when you file for the year your adoption if final. Your employer may also have a program to re-pay some of your adoption expenses (mine did).

Feel free to ask the ladies here for their experiences.

Susan

maddysima · 04-27-2009, 03:01 PM

We adopted from Ethiopia. We took out a Home Equity Line of Credit and it's almost payed back! When you adopt you get an adoption credit, its basically all your taxes back that you paid into for the year. We took out the load about 3 yrs ago for $22k and its down to about $5K now! And believe me, we aren't making 6 figures each or anything, we own a house and pay on two cars, so this isnt coming from someone who doesnt have to worry about money! I know the fees are overwhelming, but they dont all hit you at once. Good luck in your decision

Stelladot_KKE · 05-03-2009, 10:26 AM

Hi! It does seem daunting at first, but *channeling Kiyosaki* - it's not "can we afford it", it's "how can we afford it".

Stuff we've tried:
- Reduce the amount going into 401K, re-route to adoption
- Cut utilities - reduce cable package, use less heat and AC
- Take on a side job - I have an MLM business selling jewelry (link in signature).
- Do adoption fundraisers
- Also, this was not our idea, but we've had some friends give us $$ for our adoption fund rather than material gifts on bdays, Christmas, etc
- Carpool to work
- Shop, eat out, etc, less

Why don't we just take out a home equity line of credit? Because our expletive house is 100K underwater. But that is another post...

Good luck! PM me if you want to talk more.