the one thing i have been avoiding since having my girls was what to do with all their stuff i had waiting for them...their bassinette, baby clothes, stuffed animals and books and bath lotions...etc etc...stuff i got for baby showers and things i'd been saving for them...
now with all of that is a pile of my maternity clothes, baby books and prenatal health books...when i wake up its all right there at the foot of my bed, like it always has been...and dh finally said...as i knew he would eventually...its time to put it away.
He's not being insensitive about it, but it makes sense to put it somewhere...i just dont know how. Its like breaking the final emotional/physical connection i have with my babies...
the thought of putting it all into a box and leaving it somewhere is so hard...the thought of having someone else do it for me is even harder...i'm their mommie and its up to me...but i just cant do it.
Am I crazy?
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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Kim,
Fortunately, I guess I haven't given up hope completely, because I've left it all piled where it's accumulated all along. I keep thinking that I will need/use it eventually. I hope that's the case for both of us, so why not just box it up for now and look forward to getting it back out. It will be hand-me-downs from these babies to the next ones, and we can think of them often as we use these things.
Maybe it would be easier if DH and you did this project together.
Best wishes,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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well my loss was early on so I didn't have anything but a pregnancy book, which I proudly displayed on the bookshelf in our living room. You are making great progress...you really are. Why not put the books on a bookshelf, maybe even in your bedroom? I would wash and fold the maternity clothes...you don't have to put them away. Maybe hang them up in your closet...for safe keeping As for the girls stuff....that is harder for sure...Did you have a room for them? Why not pile baby stuff in there for what's to come. Maybe not set up the room,but use it as a storage facility of sorts. It can be your special palce to put things, to look at, to reminisce, and to dream....I think you deserve a special place!
__________________ Me 38, Dh, 36,
DD, Katie Grace 4/8/03 she's 5 now!!
DS, Samuel Fenway...born 12/22/04, he's 4 now!
With Katie, tested ++++at 12dpo
13dpo: 428, 16dpo:1,903!!!
Born on April 8, 2003
8lbs, 6oz, 20 inches long
With Sam,4/12/04 beta= 131 at 8 or 11 dpo, p4 14.4
4/15/04 beta= 1,059 at 11 or 14 dpo
4/28/04=36,850 P4=35.2
After my fourth miscarriage and fifth loss, I decided to give my baby clothing to someone I knew who would really appreciate them. It was my way of letting go and seeing to it that someone who really needed it... got it. I am by no means giving up. It just made me feel like there was a true purpose for my baby clothing other than storing it and torturing myself with looking at it day after day. It is such a personal decision. What ever you decide, good luck.
I can definitely relate. I lost my daughters the day after my baby shower. Most of my stuff is still at my in-law's house, so thankfully I didn't have to deal with it. I don't want to get rid of it, but I also don't know if I want to use it with another child. The girls room was all decorated, so my wonderful husband locked the door and put all my baby and pregnancy books in there until I was ready to sort through everything. It was about 6 months, before I could do it. It has almost been a year for me, and I still find it difficult, especially now as I get closer to the anniversary of their birth and loss. If you don't feel ready to do it yet, maybe you can get your husband to put everything in a box, until you are ready.
__________________ Age 36, DH 35
1st IVF Twin girls lost due to incompetent cervix at 21 weeks on 4-21-03.
9-1-03 Miscarriage
2nd IVF 4-04 Successful, It's a boy!
FET 11-28-05 - BFP! It's a girl!
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I had gotten a few things for Alivia. my mom got her a special blanket and a soft little gund stuffed animal. I had her bedroom set up a bit. My mom and my sister came and packed some things away for me and my dad built Alivia a little chest that I keep her blankie in, her stuffed animal and some other things that were meant for her. Theses are her things that I won't use for another baby. Baby clothes that i had gotte I just packed in a rubbermaid crate.........for now
__________________ Bill To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Kelly 10/02/1993
Andrew 4/21/2000 26 weeks
Alivia 8/19/2003 22 weeks missing you baby girl
Connor 1/13/2005 31 weeks
Noah 11/05/2007 37 weeks
Joseph 3/18/2009 32 weeks
As Ellie arrived so early and I never wanted to tempt fate, her room was nowhere near finished. 8 months later we still cannot face working on that room although we intend decorating it as a 'spare' room that can be easily converted to a nursery if we do manage to conceive again.
We had just been out and bought a travel system, cot and other things after I got to 24 wks and relaxed a bit about the pregnancy. The cot and travel system were and still are stored at my fil house. The other things we bought, with all of Ellie's presents are in boxes in the loft. Some of it I would use with another baby, but some of it is just Ellie's and it wouldnt feel right.
A colleague knitted a beautiful white shawl that Ellie never got to use as she was in NICU. I will be wearing it as a wrap on Monday when Chris and I get married. Ellie was supposed to be our bridesmaid, so this is my way of including her in the ceremony.
__________________ Sue (40) Chris (37)
DD Eleanor 24/07/03 - 20/08/03
born 13wks early due to pre-eclampsia
Oh Sue...the shawl at your wedding is a lovely idea...made me teary eyed. Wishing you all the best of luck and I know Ellie will be one step behind you all the way...
thanks everyone for your support. I still havent put my stuff away...Its not as hard to look at it now and it gives me hope that my babies are watching and waiting for it to be used eventually...but like Alivias mommy says...some things are just for them and no one else...
hugs to all
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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I have saved special things I had from my 2 losses.
I would keep maternity clothes in a box for the next time.
Most of all I want to encourage all you gals to not give up hope.
I tried for 10 yrs to get pg. We lost 2 babies. I had given up. Mind you, this is after several idiot dr's, clomid, injectables, clomid again (!), and finally, metformin. Ihad no hope, and I thought I was to old (41 at the time) . Well, last June I got pregnant. I had my DS on March 4, perfectly health!!!!!!!!
Please< please don't give up!!!!!!!
This thread made me cry. Maybe it' still my wacky hormones!!!
It can happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God Bless. Pam
Kim,
I had only bought one jumper for him, and even though I moved it's still hanging in my closet
Since I have no grave or place to go to to feel close to him when I need to feel him I go into my room close the door, and just stroke it, and cry. No one else knows, my freinds find it hard to cope with my greif so it my private little way of honoring him.
My sugestion is do what you need to and let everyone else cope
When your ready you'll let go
Purple
I lost my little ones just over 21 weeks, we did not start on their nursey as yet because we wanted to wait and we needed to figure out how we were going to fit three cribs.
I do have a box of their memories which includes their pictures and their hospital stuff.
I decided to make two sets of their photographs in the hopes that one day I will be able to pass on to any brothers or sisters they will have.
I also have packed up my maternity wear for future use, should the day ever come....
Each day that I make it through I am thankful.....and I pray that the day arrives that I am able to remember my three angels with love alone instead on heartache.
My mum said to me that God would not have put me on this road if he did not think that I could of handled it....some days I can while others I just sit and yearn for them.
Kim you sound like a wonderful person, and I pray that you find the peace you seek with the decisions you need to make....
Devi
__________________ May '04 - Going Natural - Herbal
"I am thankful that God allowed me to see the faces of my beautiful angels"
Devi i didnt realize you were having triplets...and purple i could see you in my mind stroking a little jumper and it made me cry...i am so thankful for having people who i can relate to and i know relate to me...thanks for your support.
I still have my baby things in my room...i havent put anything away yet. Except my maternity clothes...they are again in my closet as we have decided on a timeline to ttc again...i think about my babies every HOUR of every day...they are as much a part of my family as anyone else and i decided it was okay to have their things around me...there will come a time when their sibling enjoys the little hand me downs...thats what big sisters are for...
we all deal with it in our way i guess...
hugs!
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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Kwannabe
I don't think anyone else understands our grief, when I tell people my son died, I can see the pained look, and how uncomfortable it makes them so it's a private thing for me now.
I wrote a poem for the others, and I framed it, and put it in my room
Also it's weird but your twin were born on my 30th birthday (same as James Dean)
What did you do with 'baby stuff' 
As for the girls stuff....that is harder for sure...Did you have a room for them? Why not pile baby stuff in there for what's to come. Maybe not set up the room,but use it as a storage facility of sorts. It can be your special palce to put things, to look at, to reminisce, and to dream....I think you deserve a special place! 
