Tera

My brother and I are 3 years apart. I'm older. When we were younger we had to stay all night every friday and saturday at a great-uncle and great-aunts house while our parents worked and went out. The g-u and g-a had 4 children. The two older ones were married and moved out. So there was just one son and younger daughter at home. The son was 5 years older than me and the daughter was only 1 year older than me. So the son which was our cousin was 8 years older than my brother.

When I was 13 we found out our guy cousin had been molesting my brother for years. I remember every night that we stayed at their house my brother would come into my girl cousins room crying and say, "Can I sleep in here with you girls because Fred is hurting me" They only had one bathroom and I remember Fred would always say he had to go to the bathroom while I was in the bathtub. Then he would just sit there talking to me. I was always uncomfortable and would sit with washrags over my body until he left. He always said uncle buck said he could use the bathroom. He even ran his hands down the side of my breast one time when I was walking past him in the hallway.

Anyways, my brother told my parents when I was 13 and he was 10. My parents called his parents and they came over. But they told my parents not to call the cops because they would take care of it and if they did call the cops then we'd have to move. We lived on my great grandmas farm. My mom's whole family did. We were spread out on it. My parents didn't have money to rent or to buy anything else so they never pressed charges. After our family found out then no one has anything to do with anyone else.

They didn't even get my brother counsiling or anything. When my brother turned 15 he turned to drugs and alcohol. He was an alcoholic by the time he was 21. He is 23 now and is in prison. He has been there since Nov. for breaking probation for being in a bar then someone attacked him at the bar. He was on probation because he beat a guy with a baseball bat in 2000 because the guy was raping my brothers friend.

Anyways my parents said my brother can still press charges but he doesn't want to. I was wondering if anyone knew if I could press charges or what should I do. It just really bothers me that my parents never did anything about it.

I hope someone can help me.

Thanks,
Tera

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bailey0979

i'm pretty sure there is a statute of limitations on pressing charges for everything ( maybe not murder, but I'm not sure)

Your best bet is to look up the statute of limitations for the state in which it happened. not hte state he or you live in now.

I'm sorry your brother went through that as a child.

jayme

I'm sorry. That is horrible. If I were you, I would call a lawyer and ask. You might get a nice one who will tell you over the phone if it's worth pursuing.

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Jayme, age 29, mom to Bailey (12.18.02)

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alex

I'm so sorry for what happened to you and your brother, it was totally wrong

I'm not a lawyer, but I know that in some places the statute of limitations for child abuse does not start to kick in until the victim becomes an adult (because as a child, they couldn't necessarily understand what was happening, or get help or press charges in any way). Clearly, you need expert advice on this.

Perhaps more important, IMHO, than prosecuting the perpetrator would be getting help for your brother's addictions and other problems. I appreciate that he's in the legal system right now, but in general it's not too late to get help/counselling/therapy - same for you if you feel you need it.

Best,
Alex

*~SugarPlums~*

I would call the prosecutor in the state where it happened at. There is a statue of limitations on those types of crime (except murder) in most states. I have read of child molestation cases that have been prosecuted 20 years later.

The other thing is that your brother may not want to re hash that in that way. Has he gone for any type of counseling? This is sad because too often in cases like these, crimes go unpunished or come out later in life when the perpetrator does this again, like for instance to his/her own child/step child. And the victims are left scarred.
Ultimately it has to be your brothers decision. I think a first step for him is to seek counseling if at all possible, then go from there.

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Jashobeam

I agree you should call a lawyer. I hope your brother gets the couseling he needs and is finally able to heal from this.

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ecamarret

I live in Illinois and there is no statute of limitations here. Unfortunately it's not like that everywhere. It looks like you're from Missouri so this is what I found:

"Missouri's Statute of Limitations for sexual abuse defines childhood sexual abuse as sexual contact with a person under the age of 18.

The 2003 amendment to the limitations statute provides that civil claims must be filed either on or before reaching the age of 30, or within 3 years from the date the victim discovers, or should have discovered, that physical or psychological injury was caused by abuse."

georgy

In the UK people can press charges many years down the line. I know that there have been cases in the news lately about it.

I feel for your family, its a horrible situation and its still ongoing for your brother. I hope things work out for you all. x

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Tera

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alex

I know what it's like to watch someone you love struggle with this kind of pain. You are being a great sister.