What else should I ask????

babygirl18905 · 10-27-2008, 12:55 AM

I've posted on here about wanting to adopt through foster care and one of the kids social worker called me gave me information about a child and said if I have any further questions give him a call back. So I started thinking maybe I should ask the following:

1) Why was the child removed from his home?
2) Does the child have any developmental/mental delays?
3)Will there be a adjustment period between the selected family and foster family for the child's benefit?

Any other questions you ladies can think of for me to ask wouild e greatly appreciated

I was given a little history about this child what the major issues are speech delays, asthma, and one other issue, but I don;t remember anything developmental/mental being stated.

ProudPCOMom · 10-27-2008, 04:54 PM

Does the child have any known siblings?
(to see if there would be any attempt to keep them in contact)

Is there an open/semi-open agreement to send pictures/updates to the bio-family?
(this would be a legal agreement you would be subject to)

Has this child been exposed to any drugs/alcohol - at birth or subsequently?
(not necessarily a big deal, just more of an FYI for you)

Does the child have any additional diagnoses not previously disclosed?
(again, just so you are informed)

Is the child currently on any type of medication?
(just to get a feel for what he'll come to you on - if he is, find out what he's on and why)

Has he needed to be hospitalized for his asthma in the past year?
(to see if his asthma is controlled)

Is the child currently with a stay-home parent or in daycare?
(this could give you insight on whether the child will be sick more often when you put him in school - as children in daycare build up immunity faster due to what they've been exposed to already)

babygirl18905 · 10-27-2008, 05:43 PM

Susan~ thanks, some of these questions have been answered but some of these are excellent and I will have to ask when I call him back!

Anyone else with questions I should be asking???????

jordon23 · 10-28-2008, 08:01 PM

Just from personal experience, and not trying to be negative. But no matter how many questions I asked, I never got the truth about anything. My cousin that has adopted 7 children has had the same experience. They adopted their first son when he was 4, and did not find out about the severe sexual abuse he was exposed to until he became sexually abusive to the little ones (2 and 3), when he was 13. If you have a great case worker you might get a tiny bit of the truth, but it's not the norm.

Salsal · 10-29-2008, 12:32 AM

You may already have some of this info, but here are some other things that a case worker could tell you:

are there any other possible family members around who would be considered for placement now or in the future or past (why were they not chosen);

have there been any behaviors that are not typical to his age;

how does he respond to adults (any attachment issues);

has the child had any testing done to specifically check for developmental/mental delays;

has the child been exposed or been a victim of sexual/physical abuse...

As a former case worker, I just want to say that it is a tough job. Oftentimes caseworkers are overloaded due to those above them who pile on the cases instead of hiring more case workers. Sometimes case workers do not have all the information, believe it or not. They have to make decisions based on the limited info they have, and we are just people too..I believe that foster parents are truly amazing, as they are the ones with most of the info about foster children. Sometimes case workers just don't get all the info, whether it be from the bio parents, foster parents, schools, doctors...wherever the info could come from. And sometimes case workers do have the info, but don't know what you want to know until you ask! So just ask, it never hurts...

My state has a required "disclosure statement" that all foster parents get a copy of and you could always ask for something like that if your state has one. Hope that helps ya!

aimes16 · 11-01-2008, 11:50 PM

They don't know enough about the children when you get the call. We made the mistake of saying "yes" one time without even getting a bit of the truth from our caseworker or DSS. I found out more from friends of mine who had been involved in the child's investigations in the past and from other people who knew the family. I definitely learned not to say yes next time without a clear background and answers to all of my questions.