My DH has going through my head right now that maybe they made a mistake... He now says that maybe we jumped too quit to do the methotrexate shots... I was 7w6d & there was no h/b, no baby in my uterus anywhere or anywhere that we could see in my entire body. I know in my heart that we made the right decision but he has doubts going through my head right now. My betas were going down & then they started going back up. One week later, we went in for another u/s (8w6d), nothing was seen in my uterus & there was a round circle on my left ovary but they weren't positive what it was, I got 2 shots of the Methotrexate. My #'s were decreasing but not by very much so I had to go in last Wednesday for another 2 shots. I got b/w done yesterday & more on Tuesday to make sure my #'s are decreasing by at least 15%. If by Tuesdays b/w they are not decreasing right, I will need at least a lap & possibly a D&C. Is there any possible way that we made a mistake?
Please be honest, if you think there was a mistake please tell me why you think a mistake was made... I just need to know for my own sanity.
Thanks,
Traci
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I don't have an answer for you. I know when I had my m/c (much earlier than you did though) I knew before it happened that something wasn't "right". If your heart is telling you you made the right decision, i'd say you didn't make a mistake. I would also think by 8wks, even if you were a week off, that you'd see a heartbeat. jmo though. I am so sorry you are having these feelings, but I think you did the right thing. Try not to beat yourself up over it!
My heart says you didn't make a mistake. I am NO expert by any means, but I don't know of any PG that had decreasing betas. I know sometimes they don't rise like they should, but I can't imagine what would make them decrease in a viable PG. Someone may say otherwise.
I think we always second guess decisions like that, it's normal. ((HUGS)) to you and DH, I hope your numbers decrease on their own so you can avoid the D&C.
Traci,
We all want something great to happen for you. It's just awful that you've been through so much. And we all doubt ourselves around here, but I'm sure that you have done the right thing. There would have been a good, visible embie by that last ultrasound, and if you had an ovarian pregnancy, it needed to be dealt with quickly to save your life. I'm sorry to say that I agree with the decisions that you had to make up to now. I also hope that you don't have to go invasive with this!
((Hugs))
Sheri
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Hi Traci...that second guessing is maybe one of the hardest things about the recovery process...i think we've all been there, sometimes maybe once or twice or even more. The thing is it sounds like your instincts were telling you that things werent going well, so you have to tell yourself that you did the best that you could do with the info you had...and as hard as it is to let it go...for your own sanity you have to.
The months i spent questioning everything i did myself and wondering what i should have done differently...sighhhhh....and my dh was fully prepared to sue the pants off my doctors once the shock wore off cuz we thought they could have done more...but hindsight is 20/20 isnt it...
anyway i've been wondering about how youre doing...i hope things get 'better' for you soon...take care!
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I don't hear anything that sounds like it could have been a mistake. I understand about all of the second guessing though. I wish we all could all have perfect knowledge and always know we were making the right decisions, but unfortunately we can only ever make decisions with the imperfect knowledge that we do have. I think you made the best decision you could make with the knowledge you had at the time. It doesn't sound like a mistake, I think you should have seen the heartbeat by the last us at the latest, but even if you later found out something different, it wouldn't change the information you had at the time. If there was a good chance there was an ectopic pregnancy than you made the best choice you could. I'm sorry it was so hard. I wish it could have been different for you.
Aviva
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I'm sure the doctor did everything s/he could, and I'm sure you made the right decision. You should have seen a heartbeat by that stage. I do know about the doubt, though.
I made it to 24W6D (with several crises along the way). My baby boy was in the NICU, his heart had stopped yet again, and I SAW the nurses giving him several injections to get him going again. Logically, I KNOW they did everything they could...But emotionally, I wonder - the doctor said she couldn't do anything else, but I LET THEM TAKE HIM OFF THE OXYGEN!
What if they were wrong? I know exactly how you're feeling, and the only way to keep yourself from going crazy is to remember that you had X information at the time, and that's all you could go off of, no matter what information comes along in the future!
Take care of yourself, hon. I'm really, really sorry someone else has to go through all of this.
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Thanks everyone. I know in my head they did everything they could, it's my heart that hasn't caught up yet... DH hasn't said any more, I really think he's going through the same thing. Basically, after all the testing we went through we were assured that the last 3 m/c's were just "flukes"...now that's definately not the case though We'll find out on Wednesday whether the shots are working or if I need a lap & possibly a D&C...I'm really not thinking I will need a D&C though, just a lap b/c nothing has been seen on the last 2 u/s's intrauterine... Now Chris is just worried that something will happen during the lap (hopefully I don't need one though) & it will be even worse than it is now...lose a tube, damage, etc.
Thanks,
Traci
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I finally have some semi good news... My beta is now down to 2132 (10/22) from 3298 (10/18). The RE wants me to come in on Friday for another beta & once/week until it hits 0. Hopefully soon we'll be able to talk about more RPL testing...
Traci
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Tracy....I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.....If you are still having doubts and need questions answered here's a great board with a great bunch of women.....Some of whom have been through the same thing and can answer your questions better and even give you some piece of mind......Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage Site
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