What men think of it all?

Franxcaddy · 12-19-2006, 04:16 PM

I would like to know how men take PCOS and wat they think. Im 22 and ive been with my boyfriend for jus under a year, for bout the last 8 months ive been going to the docs alot to find the end result being PCOS. It feels like all i seem to do is tel me BF bad negative stuff. He does always try cheering me up and supports me but i cant help think if i carry on this way he'l get sick of it.

Franxcaddy · 12-20-2006, 10:34 AM

Is there no one to help me on this one?

supportive DH · 12-29-2006, 08:41 PM

Franxcaddy;

Pcos is really hard on a woman. However it can be just as Hard on a man for different reasons. No matter if the man is a hands on mechanic type or an academic typr we all like to fix something if there is something wrong. When it is someone we love we want to take the hurt and frustrations upon ourselves but we cannot and that can get frustrating to us. I personally think that triing to console some one is difficult because men don't understand what the woman is going through although we certainly try. So we don't always know what to say and it sounds cheap to us even when we mean what we say. We picture you guy's going in you mind ( Yeah right vyou are just saying this because you don't want to sleep on the couch). I know most of you out there My wife included don't think that way. But it is something that runs through our mind..

When a couple with PCOS is triing to concieve it also becomes frustrating.. Ladies you know how men can make you feel like a piece of pleasure meat normally... Well when triing to concieve we can sometimes feel like a 24 hour sperm bank with more withdrawls then deposits. So just remember although not all of us will admit it but we like it when appreciation is shown to us as well and it dosen't have to be big.. it can be small things a few or many things just let us know you see what we are triing to do and that you appreciate it.. And he should do the same other wise to many people get into a rut and take each other for granted

Sirus Foxx · 01-27-2007, 04:37 AM

Hello hello

All I can say is have a little faith in your husband. I understand how he feels and it may seem like you're being negative all the time, but as the male of a beautiful lady with PCOS, chances are he would rather hear about what you're going through than be kept in the dark. Best thing you can do for him is simply let him know when he's being supportive. A good husband will move a mountain for his mate without any expectation or want of praise, but it's always reassuring to know that he did a good job moving it

thincyster85 · 01-28-2007, 11:59 PM

Through all of this he is still with you. He must love you very much. Try asking him sometime how he feels about it. He may need to vent. I'm sure it bothers him but he knows it not your fault. And he loves you.

junior_j · 02-08-2007, 09:25 PM

I spose it depends on how open the partner is i no my dad doesnt really take intrest in me havin pcos but then again he is my dad so he doesnt want his child to have this..im only 14 so i havnt got a long term partner to give a proper reply sorry...
Jess x

Franxcaddy · 02-20-2007, 10:24 AM

Sorry guys been away for a while,

Thanks for all ya replys. when you see something (or hear somthing) from someone else point of view it makes alot more sense.

Thanks again

ickle pands bf · 03-04-2007, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franxcaddy

Sorry guys been away for a while,

Thanks for all ya replys. when you see something (or hear somthing) from someone else point of view it makes alot more sense.

Thanks again

i would have posted sooner, but been away as well, soz..

Since you have been told you have PCOS have you explained what you know to your bf?

It may help to explain to him what PCOS is and the possible side affects that you might suffer.

When Pand told me this is what she had, i asked as many questions as i could and read some of her books as well.

If you contact Pand maybe she could help you with books to look into.....

Keep with it though, blokes like to know whats going on, he maybe feels out of his depth just because he doesnt know what PCOS is.

Kev

Fyn_Hubby · 03-05-2007, 02:01 PM

Yeah, not knowing what's going on sucks way more than when you do know.

PCOS (especially with the words, not the acronym) can sound like a pretty nasty thing when you don't have a clue what in the world it is. It's even worse if the guy feels like something's wrong but you won't even tell him.

If he does end up getting fed up with it, it will be the lack of details that gets him more than anything else. Telling him what's going on, with as much detail as you've got, will help both of you out. Taking him along to the doctor with you and having the doctor explain things to him and answer his questions can help quite a bit too.

My wife having PCOS doesn't bother me at all. The effects suck and I hate them with a passion, but it doesn't have any negative impact at all on how much I love my wife.

I have found in the vast majority of the women that I have talked to about problems they're having (PCOS and otherwise), that the women are far more worried than they ever need to be about letting their boyfriends/husbands/whatevers know what's going on. Rarely has it ever been anywhere near as big a deal as they thought it was, and almost every relationship has actually been made better by it.

The other guys that have posted above me here have been hitting the nail right on the head with how a man handles things. I think sDH up there is my long-lost clone or something.

smilingtator · 03-06-2007, 09:25 PM

I have to say as a guy I never thought about this untill my Angel told me about it. Even after she told me I didnt have negitive thoughts about this situation. I believe that most guys dont know about it, think about it or even notice it. If you love someone you have to trust that they will treat you the way that you deserve. There is nothing that should change the way people treat you.

Reesha86 · 03-17-2007, 07:32 AM

I have been with my DF for almost 4 years now and when I first found out that I had PCOS we were still dating and in the beginning of our relationship. The best advice I can offer is, if he wants to go to your doctor appointment and ask questions, let him. If he just wants to go and listen to the information that is being given to you, let him. Also, make sure you ask him how he is feeling about it. AND ALWAYS ALWAYS PRAISE HIM FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT HE IS GIVING YOU. He is probably just as confused about it as you were when you heard the diagnoses (if you're anything like me) and he can probably get just as frustrated with the side effects (depending on which ones you have) as do we. Be sure to make information available to him and keep reminding him how much you appreciate and love him. It's really not as big of a deal as we make it out to be sometime, they know it is not our fault. I believe that it's when we make it out to be a great big deal that they get the most aggrivated with it.

ickle pands bf · 03-17-2007, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reesha86

I have been with my DF for almost 4 years now and when I first found out that I had PCOS we were still dating and in the beginning of our relationship. The best advice I can offer is, if he wants to go to your doctor appointment and ask questions, let him. If he just wants to go and listen to the information that is being given to you, let him. Also, make sure you ask him how he is feeling about it. AND ALWAYS ALWAYS PRAISE HIM FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT HE IS GIVING YOU. He is probably just as confused about it as you were when you heard the diagnoses (if you're anything like me) and he can probably get just as frustrated with the side effects (depending on which ones you have) as do we. Be sure to make information available to him and keep reminding him how much you appreciate and love him. It's really not as big of a deal as we make it out to be sometime, they know it is not our fault. I believe that it's when we make it out to be a great big deal that they get the most aggrivated with it.

you could tell him about this site and ask him if he wants to either read some of the stuff here, or even better register and ask some of us blokes some questions that he would the answers to.

Showing love and giving support is only part of it, he has to try and understand why you feel the way you do. Just accepting that you feel like that sometimes is the worst decision, if he understands why then he can look out for the 'markers' next time and be there sooner than he has been previously

AngrySar · 04-09-2007, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franxcaddy

I would like to know how men take PCOS and wat they think. Im 22 and ive been with my boyfriend for jus under a year, for bout the last 8 months ive been going to the docs alot to find the end result being PCOS. It feels like all i seem to do is tel me BF bad negative stuff. He does always try cheering me up and supports me but i cant help think if i carry on this way he'l get sick of it.

omg, I completely know how you feel

Just reading this post made me tear up a bit.... I wonder the same thing about my bf, he has been nothing but supportive since I found out about my PCOS in March (though I've been having symptoms for months), but sometimes I feel horrible that I all I do is complain... you don't need me to tell you it is so so hard to deal with all this stuff, especially just finding out, not knowing what to expect, what's "normal" for you now that you have this, etc etc. God, it is so hard. **ok, Sarah's gonna cry now** But I really do feel for you, and you are SO not alone.

I feel like its jeopardizing my relationship all the time... TMI, but I'm one of those constant BTB girls, and it pisses me off having the high libido from hell and not being able to enjoy it!! ***looks for objects to throw*** Its really unfounded if I think about it, my guy puts up with it very well, and it makes me love him even more for that zenith patience, you know?

joyblack · 05-01-2007, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franxcaddy

I would like to know how men take PCOS and wat they think. Im 22 and ive been with my boyfriend for jus under a year, for bout the last 8 months ive been going to the docs alot to find the end result being PCOS. It feels like all i seem to do is tel me BF bad negative stuff. He does always try cheering me up and supports me but i cant help think if i carry on this way he'l get sick of it.

He probably feels powerless to do anything. If you've got the usual facial hair and have explained that it's a result of PCOS, he might want to help you shave it -- that' something he could understand and relate to very easily.

Franxcaddy · 05-02-2007, 10:33 AM

Wow i dont really know what to say, thank you al so much for repyin especially the men

as i know what he feels is prob the same as u guys.

Since startin this post i have spoken to him alot more and things are as great as ever.He's very supportive and i love him to bits.

Angrysar, sorry for upsettin u

but im exactly the same readin wat everyone has written brings me out in tears. Its very hard to explain how u feel all the time cause most of the time ur unsure yaself. Bless ur heart for sayin im not alone

but neither are u especially from me