I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I have no motivation to do anything. All I want to do is lay around the house and sleep. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed. I don't want to talk to people or to see people either. I just don't care anymore. I'm sick of fighting and trying. I don't see what difference it makes. No matter what I do we're never going to get ahead. I just really can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I'm sick of the way I look too, I hate myself. I can't remember the last time I felt pretty. I used to wear a size 6 and now I'm a 16. When I get sad or upset I eat. What difference does it make? I feel sometimes like I'm screaming out loud and no one hears me, but at the same time I don't because that would take way too much energy to care. Does anyone feel like this? I'm tired all the time, but when I lay down at night I can't sleep. I just lay there wishing I never had to get up again. Sorry I'm rambling-I just need to talk to people who can understand and not tell me to suck it up and stop whining.
sarah i totally get where u are comming from i feel the same way a lot of times but some thing that helps me is to force my self out of bed and to talk to my closes friend or my dh and they dont always get it but they try to love me any way i just had to post and tell u that you are not alone in this many of us feel the same way u do
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I went through 2 years feeling like you do before I was even diagnosed PCOS.
I am not going to tell you to suck it up. I understand what you are going through. When I was going through the same thing I was told that I was fat and lazy. Nobody understood that I was so tired that I just couldn't do anything at all. I was married with a small daughter at the time. I didn't know what was wrong with me and neither did the Dr.'s that I saw at the time.
Do you have insurance? If you do go see a reproductive endocrinologist. Even if you aren't TTC they are the most knowledgeable about this condition. Tell them you have PCOS or think you do and have them run blood tests. I went on antidepressants for several years. I also went on Glucophage and iron supplements. Both helped immensely with my energy and motivation. Nowadays I am off the antidepressants and the Glucophage. I take the iron as I am anemic and when the iron goes low it makes you really tired.
Just remember it does get better. I've been there. If you can try to get in to talk to someone. I know its really hard to open yourself to a complete stranger but it does help. If you don't have insurance most cities have free or low cost mental health departments.
Please try to get some help. For me its the only thing that stopped me from suicide.
Sarah, I sooo understand. I felt like I was reading my own post. I have been up all night because I slept all day. The worst part is I am on anti-depressants! Actually, I have been much, much worse at other times in my life and each time I felt bad I thought I had never felt that bad before. But it really does get better, but don't get me wrong it'll get bad again , too! Anyway, when everyone was telling me to go the doctor I was like "that's too much effort" and if I did make an appointment I usually would cancel it because I wouldn't get out of bed! And I used to be a size 4, now I wear 16 and 18's. Sometimes I just crack up when I'm shopping because I can't believe I'm in the plus section. When I was a teen-ager I used to buy that weight gain powder in GNC cause I was so skinny. And to go even to the grocery store is such a chore because I have to pluck and wax and make sure I don't have the beard thing going on. But what can we do? Actually, there is stuff we could do...if only we had the energy to try and do the things that would give us energy.
__________________ Me-34
DH-34
Momma to lots of fur babies!
Proud Aunt to Hunter (10) and Evan (3)
I am having a great day! I got two new job offers today! I took the second one because they are offering more money and are closer to our house. The best news is the insurance starts from day one so my DH and I won't be without coverage at all!!!!!! Now if the DH can just get a job we'll be set. I just wanted to share the good news with everyone.
your so not alone, when I read your post I could have swore that I wrote it myself.
congrats on better news!
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
Thanks you guys for all of the support. I'm doing better. Today is my last day with my old job. I'm very glad to be getting out of here, I think that has a lot to do with the depression. It's a horrible place and they treat my horribly. I have a few days off and then I start the new job. I went to see a reproductive endocronologist (sp) last week and I have to go have the two hour glucose test done. Not exactly what I want to do on my mini vacation, but that's life. There are still times when I just don't want to get out of bed. It's just been a rough year for me and my DH. I'm really worried that he's never going to find a new job. It's been a year almost. It's just really frustrating. I would love to have money to go out to dinner or take a mini vacation. My doctor upped my Paxil and gave me a prescription for AmbienCR. Even as tired as I am lately when I go to bed I can't sleep, I just lay there tossing and turning. I'm going home at the end of my last day here and celebrating with a very long nap! Thanks again for all the well wishes. This chat room has been a great support for me.
what's wrong with me? 
, too! Anyway, when everyone was telling me to go the doctor I was like "that's too much effort" and if I did make an appointment I usually would cancel it because I wouldn't get out of bed! And I used to be a size 4, now I wear 16 and 18's. Sometimes I just crack up when I'm shopping because I can't believe I'm in the plus section. When I was a teen-ager I used to buy that weight gain powder in GNC cause I was so skinny. And to go even to the grocery store is such a chore because I have to pluck and wax and make sure I don't have the beard thing going on. But what can we do? Actually, there is stuff we could do...if only we had the energy to try and do the things that would give us energy.
