whats your story?

Hetaera · 08-11-2005, 03:18 PM

im kind of in a wierd situation.
I am not at all ashamed of being bisexual, but its not something I flaunt either.
Im married, but I have a a 'girlfriend', she also has a fiance,
its hard to explain but it works for us... she and I are together but our men are more important... you know?

anyway when we're out we hold hands and everything and have no problems with telling people that we're together.... but I dont really consider that flaunting it, I think thats just me doing normal things in a relationship....
I speak up when I someone asks my opinion, and if someone asks me outright my sexual identity I will tell the the truth... but more often than not I just let it find its own way out...

My family... Im not sure if they know.. Im sure my sister (who is 15) does... she is bisexual also... I think she just knows, but she insists that I told her... I dont remember though! lol...
my mom probably knows but since I have a husband and a baby its never really came up... she wouldnt disown me or anything...
which is cool.

so I guess what Im asking is...
how or when did you know you were gay/Bi?
How did you tell everyone?
whats your status in life and any other comments you want to add.

Zebra · 08-13-2005, 11:44 PM

Hetaera,

Thank you for sharing your story! I am so glad your situation is working out so well for you. It's not always that easy...

Was your gf able to share much of your pregnancy/birth experience?

Zebra

Hetaera · 08-14-2005, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zebra

Hetaera,

Thank you for sharing your story! I am so glad your situation is working out so well for you. It's not always that easy...

Was your gf able to share much of your pregnancy/birth experience?

Zebra

not really sadly, she used to live in P.A and didnt actually move up here until Arien was almost three months.
I saw her a few times and she loved touching my belly but I wasnt showing very much.
she loves the baby a lot though.
she's got tons of pics of him on her camera phone and even a video of when he was three weeks (she came up for a visit). she wants me to get pregnant again so she can be around for the whole thing... but I dont see myself having another baby at least until the doctor bills from this one are paid off! lol.

I am very lucky that my situation works!

tiggerlily5278 · 08-29-2005, 05:39 PM

Just wanted to say "Hi" to another bisexual, married cyster. I'm not in a relationship currently w/ another woman, but I've had the same type of relationship you described. I'm glad it's working out for you. It can become complicated! Most of my friends know I'm bi, but my family does not. I've always been attracted to females for as long as I could remember. I remember being really confused around age 14, because I liked boys (but I also liked girls). At the time I thought you were either gay or straight. I never knew of/heard of "bisexuality". LOL. Anyway, that's my story.

Stacie9778 · 08-29-2005, 06:18 PM

Another cyster who is in that situation (sorda)

Anyway, my best friend and I were intiment when I first met DH and he knew about it that time because he was there (well not in the room but saw us kiss when we came out)...he was ok with it he actually thought it was pretty cool then. And I just thought because we were drunk that it was just one of those one time things. But then after that night we kept doing it (not drinking) when my DH was working late.....Then after awile we stopped (not sure why). Then a few years go by and I mention it again because I kept dreaming about it...and turns out she felt the same way....so we said we would again this time I'm married and she is engaged. So were like we love our SO's but we like each other also.....so ok lets do it....so one night at my house we kissed and then I stopped it because I felt kinda funny being now that I'm married and before when we did I wasn't (just met the guy)....And of course I still think about it..but to be honest I really don't know how DH would react now about it....So I'm not sure if we ever will again. But I do think about it...

tiggerlily5278 · 08-30-2005, 10:19 AM

Stacie,
You could casually say to your husband, "It's wierd- I keep having dreams about being with so-and-so again" and see how he responds. He might be completely cool with it. You never know. I know my dh thinks 2-women are a turn-on and would completely encourage me, lol. I have more "issues" with it then he does. I just feel like I'm cheating on him (I am really) but just that he knows about it and is okay with it. I also feel upset that I am breaking a vow I made when I married him "forsaking all others". Religion also plays into it for me. So, I have a bit of a struggle with my bisexuality, but dh is ok with it.

shortandbubbly · 09-02-2005, 04:09 PM

I am surprised to see how many other ladies out t here feel the same way I do! I feel a lot better now! lol. Anyways, I have always had a physical attaction to females, never emotional. I have had myshare of experience when i was 13-15, and i have been having dreams for quite a while about being with another woman again. And, actually, DH an dI had a threesome with another female, my good friend, there was no intercourse involved at all. She's not into the whole girl on girl thing, but she did let me play with her boobs and stuff, and she played wiht mine. And I tell you what, ever since then, I want to do it so bad!

tiggerlily5278 · 09-02-2005, 04:37 PM

My dh wants a 3some or at least to watch me & another fem. It makes me crazy. For the most part, it seems to be like phases I go through. Sometimes I want a g/f and other times I don't even think about it. I forget how it came up, but the other night he made a comment to me that I didn't like. He said something like, "you're not bi at all"...and I was like, "why do you say that"? He said b/c it's been such a long time. But I think that he meant it to be in a hurtful way, like he's mad that I'm not persuing being w/ another female. That's one thing I can't stand about the whole thing. I feel pressure from him.

shortandbubbly · 09-02-2005, 05:42 PM

No, I don't think he meant it in a hurtful way. He was just probably making an observation (or so he thought, lol) But you would know better than I, he is your husband, not mine. lol. the thing is, if there ever is a next time with me and another female, i'm not sure if I want DH involved, or if I want strictly one on one, or he can watch. hehehehe... that would be so mean. yes, i actually think i would want him to watch. I guess i'm just weird. oh well. Maybe, if you let him know that you feel pressured and ask him to back off he will and than you can tell him that you might be more than likely to try if you don't feel so much pressure.

tiggerlily5278 · 09-02-2005, 09:15 PM

Well, for all of the years that we've been together he has told me that his fantasy was to have a threesome w/ another female, or at least to watch me w/ another female.

My problem in fullfilling his fantasy has always been with each girl that I was with. None of them ever wanted a threesome or for him to watch. I probably could have had an opportunity once (not sure), but at the time I was too insecure and thinking that DH would like her more or something like that; I don't know. Anyway, he has since told me that it will never happen and that he doesn't even think about it anymore, because he knows it won't happen. He blames me and says that it's my choice. So I am a little angry about that, too.

hellonurse · 09-09-2005, 01:35 AM

I don't really like labels, but I'm attracted to people and some of them happen to be men and some of them happen to be women

My first experience was a 3some with my best friend and her man, they were engaged and they ended up breaking up afterwards, but not because of us.
Then I was in a relationship with a woman, and that ended because she was crazy...alcoholic and hooked on pain meds. Then I got married to a man that wasn't really into the whole girl on girl thing and that didn't work out either because he wasn't sexually attracted to me.
So I moved out and we are currently working on getting a divorce. I am now the third in my friend's relationship and it's great. They have a really strong relationship and they both love me and it hasn't affected their relationship in a negative way. So for now we're all happy

shortandbubbly · 09-09-2005, 09:45 AM

That's a good way to put it hellonurse saying that yo udon't like labels. Same here. I just seem to be a passionate person, and like you said, sometimes it's men and sometime's it's women. With women, it's never an emotional thing, just a physical thing.

tiggerlily5278 · 09-09-2005, 10:52 AM

hellonnurse,

I'm glad you found something that works for you! That's great. ; )

hellonurse · 09-09-2005, 04:24 PM

It's emotional for me though. I love both of them and they love me. I don't think I would be capable of continually partaking in this lifestyle without any emotion involved, it's not just a one time thing for me.

Hetaera · 09-18-2005, 06:30 PM

wow this thread has grown! Im sad that I didnt pay closer attention! I probably should have subscribed to it!! okay, ill post some replies to everyone here after I update my story...

okay well since I posted, my girlfriend went to michigan to visit her family... while she was gone she dropped a big bombshell, she didnt want to live with us all any longer...
just with her fiancee... okay...
she didnt want to explain why, didnt want to talk about it at all...
I did get her to talk a little bit and she said that she isnt mad at us or anything, she doesnt feel wierd about the sexual relationships or anything... she just wants to live with him.
she is really bad at communicating, and there were some issues I had with her and him about being messy and having to clean around them... I would say something about them picking up their things and she would get mad, but never say anything (she is really really immature, was always coddled by her mother who did everything for her, not to be hateful, its true) so instead of sticking around to talk about it so we could work it all out she went to michigan to 'visit' her family for OVER a month... lol... okay.

Our lease was almost up at our old place anyway and we wanted to move somewhere nicer (we all had plans to move into a townhome, I had already paid part of the deposit)
but we couldnt afford the townhome without their half of the rent.. (plus we wouldnt really need a place that big with just the three of us!)
So my hubby and I moved into a new place and we've been here since the first of the month.. and I *LOVE* having our own place...
When I had roomates I didnt think it was so bad, but now that they're not around... its so much nicer! I can clean house and it will stay clean (reasonably) and I can do all the things you just cant do with a roomate (walk around naked... *blush*)

we had a good thing for a while, but without proper communication it will all fall apart eventually... Im not upset, we're still 'friends' but Im not sure if we will ever be intimate again, I honestly dont care, Im like Tigerlilly, I go through phases...
sometimes I really want a girl other times I can do without... its not as bad for me because I have a husband

okay, now for personals!!!
tigerlilly, hello! I saw the christianity v.s. bisexuality thread, but I didnt post I was going to send you a pm with my response but since you're here ill respond here...
it can be very hard to settle your desires with religion in the mix...
I say do what your want, dont let your desire to please your hubby push you into something you dont really want to do... if you're like me, you have a strong strong desire to please others, even at the expense of yourself at times... but I will tell you right now, if you do it without REALLY being okay with it, it could cause a lot of problems!!!
As for you feeling bad because you're cheating, I have a different view of cheating (as I am not christian) I feel that cheating entails dishonesty...
my husband and I have an open marriage, we dont care who the other is with sexually so long as we know about it before hand!!! we have our own little rules, like always use protection... thats pretty much it... he has never been with anyone except me (goes through phases as to if he wants to or not... plus he is shy. hehe)For us there is no jealousy, becuse we know that no one will ever replace the other... anything we have with anyone else is purely sexual... crushes are allowed... I've been with three other guys (not at the same time!!) since Ive been with my husband...
I dont know how you can reconcile religion with your sexual nature, Im glad that I dont have to deal with that... good luck on whatever you choose and we'll be here to support you EITHER way, pm me if you EVER want to talk

shortandbubbly, hello! I dont know if you remember me posting on your thread about you getting those pictures done... how did that go? sorry if I missed any update you might have posted! I am more like you... with women for me its more physical than emotional... I am totally in love with my husband, and while I can love someone else, it wouldnt ever compare to the love I feel for him... all my past experiences were mainly physical as well, but if the right girl came along... I could see my husband and I and another female all together. who knows, Im not shutting out any possibilities!

hellonurse, uhm...hello! lol... Im so glad that you got out of those bad relationships, you're stronger for going through them probably but you deserve happiness!! Im glad that you've found a situation thats working for you... I probably dont need to, but I encourage you to communicate your little butt off!!!!!

wow this is long... okay... Im done!!!