When do you say enough of TTC

melonzi · 11-10-2007, 05:32 PM

and move onto adoption? What was it that made you feel you were ready to adopt? I know in my heart my life will never be complete without a family. Right now it has been 4 years of trying, meds, IUI's, IVF..etc. and I am really quite tired. The problem is, I am ready to research adoption but I don't think my husband is ready for this kind of commitment yet. I think he is still in denial and thinks that it will eventually happen. This could take another 10 years. We are not getting any younger and I am getting physically and emotionally drained from treatment. I don't think I have anything left in me. Should I really have a heart-to-heart with my husband or should I continue pursuing another course of treatment? I know it's a silly question to ask, but I am torn and getting depressed. I could really use some positive feedback and stories.

SandySam · 11-15-2007, 11:16 AM

We just did. I am 35 we have been TTC for 3 years. And I said enough.
My AF will NEVER be normal and I will except that. Now I want to move on to something else. Foster or adoption of a foster. At least I can have "some" control over that.

Oomis · 11-15-2007, 06:32 PM

After too many rounds of Clomid, IUI's and a fertility study I lost it and said NO MORE.

For a long time being a foster to adopt parent weighed heavily on my heart. I knew my dh was not super excited about that idea but one night I finally had an emotional explosion and we talked about it. We agreed to go to a CPS information meeting they had about being foster parents. Before my dh went in his heart was guarded on the idea...by the time we left he had us a packet to fill out and a list of agencies to research. We are now licensed. It was a long task but not as long as 4 years of TTC was. We are about to be parents and looking back the whole experience and all the heart ache has been worth it.

sazzifrazz · 11-15-2007, 06:40 PM

for me im no where near done trying for #2. I want my son to hav a sibling, and i feel so much pressure(self induced) to provide him that. that being said, i really haven't been through too much. 1 clomid round, and im in my 3rd ivf now. if i had been trying for several yeard without any success i would definately consider foster to adopt. this IF thing consumes your life and as badly as we want children, we need to have some quality of life beyond that. DH was content with one, and said "when is enough enough?". i just told him that i would know when i was at that point but until then i wanted to continue trying. its such a big decision but one thing you could do while still trying is get into foster care with the possibility of adopting. -/

SandySam · 11-15-2007, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sazzifrazz

for me im no where near done trying for #2. I want my son to hav a sibling, and i feel so much pressure(self induced) to provide him that. that being said, i really haven't been through too much. 1 clomid round, and im in my 3rd ivf now. if i had been trying for several yeard without any success i would definately consider foster to adopt. this IF thing consumes your life and as badly as we want children, we need to have some quality of life beyond that. DH was content with one, and said "when is enough enough?". i just told him that i would know when i was at that point but until then i wanted to continue trying. its such a big decision but one thing you could do while still trying is get into foster care with the possibility of adopting. -/

If I was your age I would continue going also. You still have some good years left! Good Luck to you!