When to tell family?

yonah · 07-03-2008, 08:32 PM

When have you other ladies chosen to tell you family members that you're pregnant? While I'd really rather wait till we hear the heartbeat, I don't think we can handle being mum for that long and DH and I currently plan on waiting till we see the heartbeat to tell out parents and sibling, then we'll wait till 12-15 weeks or so to tell friends. But this is our first time around and I'm wondering what other cysters, especially those of you who had fertility trouble, chose to do when it came to tell people?

Thanks!

Jen1984 · 07-03-2008, 08:33 PM

I tried to wait but I just couldn't I told my family that day!!!

enligh10dwon · 07-03-2008, 10:31 PM

I was going to wait being that I suffered a m/c in the past and didn't want to jinx myself. But I figured the more people I told, the more people who could keep me and the baby in their prayers/positive thoughts. I was also so excited that I couldn't help but run my mouth being that I had totally given up on becoming pregnant again. But I've only told a few family members and close friends so far

aufachse405 · 07-03-2008, 11:08 PM

I told my dad and his wife around 5 weeks, I told my mom around 6 1/2 weeks (we were going to visit and wanted to tell them in person.) We told DHs family shortly after. We were too excited to wait.

dnrturbo · 07-04-2008, 12:00 AM

Both times we always told right away. I figured if the worst happened I would have people to lean on. Plus, once something like that happens it probably changes you forever, so I figured it would just be a fact of life and part of me. KWIM??? Plus, I really wanted the prayers.

Once you see the heartbeat they say that's a great sign!

Good luck!

Renee

Legal Eagle · 07-04-2008, 06:39 AM

Yonah: We waited until we saw the heartbeat to tell our families, and then told our local friends around 8 weeks (when DH got back in town) and out of town friends and extended family around 11 1/2 (we were visiting). I can't believe everyone didn't know before your BFP this time since you were so sure!

yonah · 07-04-2008, 07:02 AM

Jenna, I hadn't told anyone the details of the procedure. The first time I did injectables my immediate family and closest friends knew, but towards the end of the process I told them I wouldn't keep them updated since if it was good news I'd want to keep it to myself for a while, and if it was bad news I only wanted to tell people if/when I was ready/comfortable. This time around the same people knew I was on injectables again but I guess remembered my caution from the last round and knew not to ask. meanwhile I never said anything to anyone about the IUIs so as far as they all know I could still be doing the shot. That's why SC has been such a saving grace this last month; you gals are the only ones that know anything about what's going on!

canadiangirlttc · 07-04-2008, 09:18 AM

Believe it or not I just did the calculations and we will be waiting until 19 weeks! Holy smokes! I cant believe we're going to wait that long!!

But DH wants to tell the whole family at thanksgiving (Oct 12 for us Canadians)

gracie&cam · 07-04-2008, 09:54 AM

We're telling this weekend when we're home for a visit. I'll be 13 weeks. Right now only my husband, a lady from church (for her prayers!) and my brother (who I told last week) know. It's been great having a secret just between us. I kept a journal for the first 12 weeks so my mom will be able to read it to know what we've been through. I also am not mentioning the IUI component of our treatment to anyone but my parents--my husband feels weird about people knowing that much about it and I'm fine with that. Good luck!

jeminijad · 07-04-2008, 11:19 AM

Last PG, I started telling people when I was 10 weeks. I m/c at 12 weeks- turned out that the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. It was awful, and my boss took it upon himself to stroll around work telling everyone. I truly could have murdered him with my own two hands that week.

This time (of course I am not even six weeks yet) we aren't telling "people" till 13 weeks. I have a viability ultrasound at 7w3d, and then I think I'll tell my SIL, who is in the middle of injectibles/IUI & has had 1 m/c as well. She deserves to know first. Everyone else can wait till 2nd trimester!

gatornurse · 07-04-2008, 01:01 PM

Canadiangirl, we are at a similar stage in pregnancy! I plan to wait to tell anyone (outside my RE, of course, and one BFF) until 8 weeks. Hope I can hold on that long...I'm not even 5 weeks yet!

unctoothlady · 07-04-2008, 01:15 PM

Being that I have lost 3 babies, I honestly don't know the answer to this question. I told my family because I wanted the extra prayers. But I also know of a friend (on this site) that recently lost her baby at 19 weeks and lost her previous around 20 or so weeks. So I guess if you are comfortable with it, go ahead and tell. It's so hard to keep the news in.

We do know that next time, we will probably still announce early on. I enjoyed all of the tips and support that I got.

JMO

canadiangirlttc · 07-04-2008, 02:34 PM

Gatornurse - are you due in March too?? 8 weeks wow, that would be the date of my first u/s! lol

uwalcott · 07-04-2008, 02:50 PM

I told my sister and my mom right away, and told them not to tell any other siblings (because I didn't want them to be sad if I m/c, they are just little kids). But they did not keep it a secret, so everybody in my immediate fam knows now. Nobody in DH's family knows yet. We are not that close to them. Some of my coworkers know and both my BFF's know-- for prayers and moral support, mostly. I have not told my grandparents yet b/c I don't want to worry them. For me it really depends on who the person is and how close I/we are to them.

Sonshine1296 · 07-04-2008, 07:25 PM

We told close family and friends after the second ultrasound when we saw/heard her heartbeat. That was at 7 weeks.