I know since I lost my lil man, Tre', almost two weeks ago I have ran the marathon with my feelings. I just feel empty and I feel that it is cruel that as my uterus goes back to its normal size it jumps and feels like it did when Tre' would kick me. Its hard to look for something to continue for...but one thing I can say is that my SC have really made me feel alot better and I want you ladies to know that you all mean so much to me...
Thank you so very much!!!
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne (30) & Alton (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DSD (11) & DSS (9)
Alton "Tre' " Bernard III 22w0d: 01/12/08 - 01/12/08
Walter Renoid 19w5d: 07/03/08 - 07/03/08
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Adrianne,
Oh sweetie, I'm having similar feelings in my belly! It breaks my heart & my milk has come in! It's like a cruel joke or something???
Keep reminding myself to breathe...
__________________
Jules To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
proud parents to our Karate Kid & moms "Bran-Man", Brandon Matthew Nephi 01/07/01
Triplets forever in our hearts~* (Sarah Grace Ellise, Benjamen Robert Jeremiah, & Rebecca Rose Louise) *~born still on 01/19/08 *~Our family will see you again~*
I have never been in the position you are in, so while I can't empathise, I can sympathise *hugs*.
I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy and nothing I can say will make that easier for you to bear. I do know that time does heal, (my aunt lost a full term baby girl almost 20 yrs ago, and I watched the process through her...) so take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time and remember to be gentle to yourself....
Linda
m/c 03/04 & 05/07
Vanishing twin @ 13wks 31/12/07
I know if I didn't have some outlet for support then I would have probably jumped off a bridge somewhere...I need to start a show titled People say the dumbest things after losing your baby!!
Hugz ladies...We will and have to survive...
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne (30) & Alton (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DSD (11) & DSS (9)
Alton "Tre' " Bernard III 22w0d: 01/12/08 - 01/12/08
Walter Renoid 19w5d: 07/03/08 - 07/03/08
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Hang in there, sweetie. I am so sorry for your loss! This early time is the very hardest, and it sounds like you have already decided to survive. The next thing we have to decide is what KIND of survivor we want to be... I'm not sure I've figured that out yet. Please don't hesitate to reach out for whatever help you need. We are always here to listen.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Sheri--I never would have thought of it that way...I guess I could have given up a long time ago...but I so know that seeing Cysters that have had loss and still had healthy babies is a great comfort. I do appreciate you making me think about what kind of survivor I plan to be...
hugz,
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne (30) & Alton (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DSD (11) & DSS (9)
Alton "Tre' " Bernard III 22w0d: 01/12/08 - 01/12/08
Walter Renoid 19w5d: 07/03/08 - 07/03/08
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Adrianne I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little boy.
__________________ Suzi and Lamar
PCOS and MF
TTC baby #1 since 2002
BFP March 2005!
Elisa Mari Walcott born 11-14-2005 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Surprise BFP June 2007!
M/C angel baby Emmanuella 8-15-2007 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC #2 since 9-2007
BFP!!!! 5/27/2008
Baby girl! 9/23/2008 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Eliana Imani Walcott born 01-26-2009
Thank you God my struggle with PCOS is over! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Adrianne,
Sweet friend, I wish I had gained the strength to be more of a support to you. We both have been through hell & back (at least I think I'm heading back in the right direction). I know that if I didn't have all of my cysters/sisters for support & also my sons dream today, I prolly would be sinking deeper into depression.
Here is what happened today that has definately given me hope, courage, strength.....God showing my Bran-Man his brother and sisters! He wants me to know that my babies are OK & if they can't be here with me, there is no better place than the arms of our Redeemer, Christ Jesus.
Hello to all of my kindred Spirits & SoulCysters,
I am just so thankful to have all of you here for support, friendship, love, & kindness. THANK YOU! To all of you that I spoke with on the tele, your words have been the utmost comfort. I've needed to talk & you are always there. Today I didn't do anything but lay in bed (but the bed actually makes my heart hurt, as I spent the last 12wks laying in this bed (bedrest per doctors orders) in hopes of having 3 healthy babies in May.)
I'm leaning on my BBW Cysters (I don't know what I'd do without you sweet souls), as well as all of you SoulCysters (just an amazing group of friends). I'm leaning on my church family & yes they are helping Dan take care of me & my son, Brandon. (bringing me & Bran-Man lunches, dinners, cleaning my home, & reading God's Word, scripture to me, in hopes of aiding in the healing of my heart & soul. I know in time things will get better.
I'm trying so hard to not ask why? So many questions pop into my head & I actually try NOT to think. I know that everything happens for a reason and my babies were meant to be in heaven. I know that Sarah, Ben, & Rebecca are watching from heaven. I know they are OK, happy & in the arms of Jesus. I know this to be true. Brandon came to me this morning & said he had a dream about Sarah, Ben, & Rebecca. I asked him what they were doing in his dreams? Ladies, this is what he said to me "Mommy, they were playing." I said Playing? What? He says "mommy, they were playing with the angels, they were happy & smiling with Jesus holding them!" I started bawling! I know that God showed Bran this, just so he could tell me & reassure me that my precious babies are OK and if they can't be in the arms of their mommy, they are in the arms of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ! Tuesday we picked the babies up from the funeral home. We have all 3 of them together in an irn & also a locket close to my heart. Now i truly have them with me once again. It is a comfort knowing they are physically with me (does that make sense?)
Tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to get up, put my feet on the floor, take a shower (Gina, you're so right about setting daily goals), and just remember that I will see my precious babies again! I know that my babies would not want me to sink deep into depression. They don't want me to forget them & they are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Through them, I will gain the courage needed to move forward, to love my husband, love my son, & love those lost babies that really were never lost. I keep thinking as I lay on my pillow that my babies are with me, kissing me on the cheek & whispering to me "I love you, mommy." I love you Sarah Grace Ellise, Benjamen Robert Jeremiah, and Rebecca Rose Louise
Thank you ladies for being here. I know I haven't reading or posting, but I think of you all & love you so very much. Thanks for reading. I needed to talk. Getting the feelings out does help.
Once again......THANK YOU ALL!
See Adrianne, we both will get through this. We both are going to move forward. We may gain the courage & strength to TTC once again, or we may just need to take time for ourselves. I am going to try to be here more for you. We can do this TOGETHER! ((((((HUGS & PRAYERS)))))))
__________________
Jules To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
proud parents to our Karate Kid & moms "Bran-Man", Brandon Matthew Nephi 01/07/01
Triplets forever in our hearts~* (Sarah Grace Ellise, Benjamen Robert Jeremiah, & Rebecca Rose Louise) *~born still on 01/19/08 *~Our family will see you again~*
Jules--that is the most beautiful thing that anyone has said to me. I know that my heart broke for you when I heard of losses and felt that it was more unfair than mine. Even though I lost Tre' it made me put more hope into everyone else to get their babies here safe, but you broke my heart. When I said that you can talk to me at any time I MEANT IT!!! I know that the LORD was with me and Tre', I was soo scared that since he has passed a day and a half before he was delivered I didn't know how he was going to look.
The Lord brought my baby into the world without me having to push and cause any trauma to him and he was still in the amniotic sac completely cushioned. That let me know that God does listen. Tre' was treated like a king while he was here and that made me feel better.
Hopefully Tre', Sarah, Benjamin, and Rebecca are all playing together in the arms of Jesus.
Thank you so much Jules...you are a blessing!!!
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne (30) & Alton (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DSD (11) & DSS (9)
Alton "Tre' " Bernard III 22w0d: 01/12/08 - 01/12/08
Walter Renoid 19w5d: 07/03/08 - 07/03/08
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Adrianne, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, Tre'. I know he meant so much to you & to lose him broke your heart. PG is so real for us women. The moment we get a BFP, seeing those 2 lines or the words PREGNANT we are instantly planning for the life that lives inside of us. The longer the pregnancy lasts, the more plants that have been made. Finding out that your baby has passed in utero, or if you have preterm labor and delivery---those plans all crash in a matter of seconds..... Losing Tre' has probably been the hardest thing you ever had to endure? I want you to know that I'm here for you. Talking about Tre' ( as I talk about Devin) does help. I have also been in close contact with mom-e-jules. You both are going through so much & I'm here for you both! I lost my son, Devin Joseph. He was born still unto heaven. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my son, know that he's with me, he's whispering in my ear, carressing my cheeks. We have his baby blanket hanging over the head board of our king sized bed. Devin is always watching over DH & I & his 3 sisters. I also received tons of flowers & terrariums. Did you get any of these? I still have Devin's flowers/plants. I replant new every season & his baby shoes and a few trinkets are around all of the plants.
(((((((hugs & prayers to you Adrianne)))))))
__________________
Jackie
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Wifey to Joe
SAHM to 3 beautiful girls
WLS 2/8/02~lost 220lbs
In search of FACE TIME with NKOTB on their FULL SERVICE summer tour 2009!!! See ya in Jones Beach, NY, Detroit, MI, Cinci, OH, & lastly partying like theres no tomorrow in Houston for the last show of the tour! I LOVE NKOTB!
Jackie,
Thanks for sharing your story with everyone. You have been an awesome sense of support & friendship. THANK YOU!
Adrianne,
I'm thinking of you. How are you feeling today? We can only take it one day at a time. Positive thoughts & prayers continue to go out to you!
__________________
Jules To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
proud parents to our Karate Kid & moms "Bran-Man", Brandon Matthew Nephi 01/07/01
Triplets forever in our hearts~* (Sarah Grace Ellise, Benjamen Robert Jeremiah, & Rebecca Rose Louise) *~born still on 01/19/08 *~Our family will see you again~*
Jackie--Thank you for that encouragement... and I am soooo very sorry that you lost Devin Joseph...you know you think that when you have enemies you would want the worst things to happen to them...but I wouldn't wish this on anyone...I received an Ivy which is my DH's favorite plant..the rest were flowers and we received a spray that we left on top of his grave. We received lost of bears...the pic in my signature is the picture of his room at the wake...
Jules--I actually got up enough energy to take a shower today and finally removed the bracelet that the hospital put on my arm when Tre' was born. I feel a little more comfortable with the fact that things will start to get better. How are you feeling? Also know that you are in my thoughts and prayers also...
Kathy--Thanks for your hugs and loves...congrats on your BFP!!!
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne (30) & Alton (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DSD (11) & DSS (9)
Alton "Tre' " Bernard III 22w0d: 01/12/08 - 01/12/08
Walter Renoid 19w5d: 07/03/08 - 07/03/08
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Adrianne~ What a beautiful picture of the wake! Such a wonderful gift to your little Tre. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you don't mind me saying this, but seeing that pic just made my heart fill with peace about my little one, too. We didn't have a service, so seeing that feels like a tribute to all our angels. ((Hugs))
__________________
Michelle (34) + DH (34) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS + MF
Angels: 1/08 (IUI), 11/08 (IVF)
How did this happen??: 12/13/08 BFP! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DD born 8/11/09
Our miracle survived preeclampsia, IUGR and placenta problems!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Where do you turn... 
Please don't hesitate to reach out for whatever help you need. We are always here to listen.
