Who did you tell ...

sadlerfan · 07-04-2009, 06:51 PM

Did you tell anyone when your were ttc? With our 1st IVF we told a few friends but no family ...this time I am thinking about not saying anything to anyone just so I don't have to hear any negative comments or all the questions ....

What have y'all done?

shannyh · 07-04-2009, 07:16 PM

I haven't done IVF but have done drilling and starting my 2nd round of clomid. I told a few close frined about our process and the comments were too much to handle. In fact I had one friend say "You didn't expect to become pregnant after just one round of clomid? Did you?" Now that my new cycle is started I told those folks that I will be dealing with this privately and letting them know after I became prego. I just don't think if you haven't been through the drill with infertility you just couldn't understand.

smeets88 · 07-04-2009, 09:45 PM

We haven't gotten to the point of IVF yet, still trying out just metformin. We are not telling any family we are TTC. Only 2 close friends, and a close couple that is already expecting (were hoping to be pregnant together..fingers crossed).
After two miscarriages, i'm very hesitant on sharing anything until i'm 100% sure that lil baby is alright... It's too much to go through having to tell everyone bad news. During my first pregnancy we told EVERYONE right away. I miscarried at 7 weeks :-( Even after a year had gone by (and ANOTHER miscarriage at 12 weeks), i still had friends of friends coming up to me asking how the baby was!!! It's so hard to say, "Um, actually, there is no baby.." I think you're doing the right thing by keeping it on the DL. Good luck with the IVF!

wizrcam · 07-04-2009, 09:57 PM

Honestly I would not tell anyone, we have only told one of our couple friends we are TTC and the only reason they know is because they have been down this path before as well. We will not be telling family or friends because I cant handle the stress of them always asking " Whats taking so long?" or any other statements that people ask.

ChrisStu · 07-05-2009, 12:25 AM

we aren't telling anyone this time around b/c it's already stressful enough without people saying anything or even just knowing. I feel uncomfortable around those who knew when we were TTC #1--felt like they were looking at me weird, constantly trying to figure out if we were prego and also if not what was taking so long!

sadlerfan · 07-05-2009, 12:18 PM

Thanks guys!

smeets88 - (((HUGS)))

I think it's mum's the word for us this time around as well! We are not even going to tell the 16 year old - he did not know last time either. Not only do I not want to here the "well ..." or "did it work" or "what's the big deal" .. I don't want to hear "are you sure you can afford another baby" ...

Sending lots of baby dust our way!

Mamapapa · 07-05-2009, 01:35 PM

My parents and DH parents know we're working with an infertility clinic, I had surgery in June to remove a polyp with septum resection and we told everyone that we have to wait 3 cycles to heal before we can TTC again. Truth is, we started our first round of femara about 6 days after surgery! The only ones that know are a close friend I work with and my boss as she ha to know since I need so much time off from work for morning clinic and such. I agree with everyone else that I simply don't want to hear anyone's comments right now. Some people just don't think before they talk! DH brother is in town from SC with his family and his wife was all over me saying I should have another baby because only children are lonely. I tried to blow her off saying we were happy with one (she's a "just relax and it will happen" kind of girl.... ugh) and I finally just had to smile and leave the room. I did over hear her telling my sister-in-law the same thing about me later. If she only knew how much time and money we've put into trying to get pregnant... trust me, I want this WAY more then she does but I just don't feel comfortable talking to her about this!

Cookie4800 · 07-05-2009, 01:49 PM

With my DD I told my cousin. We are pretty close but I felt I HAD to tell her cause I backed out of her wedding cause of all it (we lived pretty far apart)

This time I haven't told anyone yet but I may have to tell someone at work, incase I need a shift or 2 covered.

sadlerfan · 07-05-2009, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mamapapa
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My parents and DH parents know we're working with an infertility clinic, I had surgery in June to remove a polyp with septum resection and we told everyone that we have to wait 3 cycles to heal before we can TTC again. Truth is, we started our first round of femara about 6 days after surgery! The only ones that know are a close friend I work with and my boss as she ha to know since I need so much time off from work for morning clinic and such. I agree with everyone else that I simply don't want to hear anyone's comments right now. Some people just don't think before they talk! DH brother is in town from SC with his family and his wife was all over me saying I should have another baby because only children are lonely. I tried to blow her off saying we were happy with one (she's a "just relax and it will happen" kind of girl.... ugh) and I finally just had to smile and leave the room. I did over hear her telling my sister-in-law the same thing about me later. If she only knew how much time and money we've put into trying to get pregnant... trust me, I want this WAY more then she does but I just don't feel comfortable talking to her about this!

I smiled and laughed at this post!

I too, have been telling everyone "one and done for us" (hopefully I have not jinked us) because it does seem so much easier to say that instead of listen to people.

Work ... that's another issue. I have wondered if I need to tell someone just in case. I work in the ER Friday-Sunday and may need coverage but don't want the one person to tell everyone else....YIKES!

Mamapapa · 07-05-2009, 03:58 PM

Quote:

"one and done for us"

I love this! I need to start using this one. DH's favorite is "why mess with perfection?". All I know is that I used to think I would want people to know, but after everything we've been through (including the ectopic loss in Dec 2008) and all the stupid comments people have made, I think DH has the right idea...

sadlerfan · 07-05-2009, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mamapapa
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"why mess with perfection?"

That is an honest thing for me ... my little man has been so easy! Pregnancy,labor,delivery,infancy and now that he is a toddler
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I have joked with my DH forever that the next on is going to be a rotten little girl that is going to give us a run for our money ...literally ...LOL!

Katrina -- I just saw that you tested .... Keep your head up, it's still early! Sending baby dust your way.

RunnerDuck · 07-05-2009, 10:29 PM

I'm just curious as to what sort of negative comments you had before or what you anticipate and why?? I can't imagine why anyone would be snarky or mean, it's not like you're trying for your 10th kid or something...

wmoody · 07-05-2009, 10:51 PM

I've told close friends and immediate family, although I haven't had IVF. Question- did you go straight to IVF from Clomid? Did you try injectables?

tucksgurl · 07-05-2009, 11:04 PM

Im just starting to do medicated cycles and i've only told 2 close friends!

TheNewMrs. · 07-05-2009, 11:12 PM

I think there are only a few people who know about us. I have two best friends that know as well as one lady I work with. Our parents know that we're "thinking about it" and that's pretty much what we tell everyone else - "we're thinking about it...sometime soon" etc, so everyone knows it's kinda in the works, yet we won't be pregnant next month. lol I think this works out well.