Why do some people act like this?

saralee03 · 01-15-2003, 07:41 PM

HI Cysters

Im a senior in high school this year. This has been a tough year for me no only it being my last year but i also dont enjoy school.
This year I think is one of the worst. I think i have picked the wrong friends to hang out with at school. They have been teasing me and making fun of me at times throughout this year. I just let it all slide and im not one who usually sticks up for myself either, i let them say whatever. I did think they were nice friends and okay to be around. When my friend is with other people or in a bigger group and im around they are always talking about drugs, drugs and more drugs or its the big party they went to or what they did with their bf. I dont do drugs and i dont go to the big partys they all go to. I live a sheltered life i guess. So of course they make fun of me saying that i wouldnt understand what they are talking about cause i dont do those things and im a momma's girl!
Sometimes i wish i had a different personality. I dont want to be the shy. quiet, worried, non outgoing, sticks in their shell kinda person like im told by others. I am starting to believe what im being told! Anyways I just dont know what to say to them anymore, they dont seem to think this is a big deal but it is to me. wouldnt they know that they are upsetting me??
Have any of you had any of these similar issues?
Sorry this is kinda long- had a hard time thinking of how to put this...

thanks for listening to my rant

Sarah

kryschen · 01-15-2003, 08:00 PM

You know, I was exactly like that when I was in HS. I only had a handful of friends, and it always seemed like everyone else was giving me grief for something - usually my PCOS symptoms. It really bothered me right up until halfway through my junior year, and then I realized that none of these people will ever pay my bills, or make any important decisions regarding my life. They hadn't been through anything I'd been through, so they didn't even have a clue, and as long as I liked who I was, and who I would become, not a single one of those jerks mattered. So, I continued to keep to myself for the most part, and was always staying after school for some sort of Drama/Choir thing. I had a few close friends, but that was it.

Fast forward, then, to my freshman year of college. I had never been away from home like that before, especially with all those new people around. I stayed in my dorm room for nearly 3 months, (aside from classes) playing solitaire, and writing letters to friends at home. Every one of the girls on the floor tried to get me to come out - to go to a party, or an ice cream social, or the movies, or just wherever. I was just so shy, and so scared that these people wouldn't like me for whatever reason. However, I was wrong. It was the first time in my life I was able to be me, and not be criticized. I opened up, became less shy, and made a mess of friends in that time. It was hard to get to that point, but well worth it. All I had to do was realize the value of me, and the rest would fall into place. Now I'm the most extroverted person I could be - when I tell DH I used to be that shy, he never believes me. Hope that helps, at least some

Kittycat · 01-15-2003, 11:40 PM

You know, sometimes teens put down others to make them feel better about themselves, or to make themselves look better around others. It's because they're insecure. Another indicatiin that they're insecure is that they're taking drugs. You take drugs to make yourself feel good about yourself and life in general. If possible, I would try to make other friends. I mkean, don't ditch them altoghether, but maybe branch out alittle. I know it' hard, especially when you're shy. Are there clubs you could get into where you could meet other people?

The thing that concerns me is that if they are doing things that are wrong, like drugs, I hope they don't influence you to do those things. I'm sure you feel resolved not to do them, but if you're around it alot you become de-sensitized to it and it doesn't seem like a big deal.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. Don't take any crap from anyone! If they try to put you down, stand up for yourself, in a nice way.

babybokal · 01-16-2003, 03:38 AM

I have had exactly the same problem. People still give me crap because I have never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never done anything at all. Plus the fact that I actually care about school, unlike them. If there's a way to ditch those guys, do. It never ever ever works to be around people who put you down. Try to find other friends in clubs or in class. Generally I respond to them with a smile and a polite look, but don't say anything. You know, the exceedingly polite cold shoulder treatment. People will give you crap no matter what you do, so all you can do is realize you're so much better than that, and that you're worth so much more than that. Cause you are, chica!

Torie · 01-16-2003, 03:46 AM

OK, if there was ONE thing I learned about H.S. it's that no matter what you are or *think* you are at school, your NOTHING once graduation occurs!!

Let me tell you, I've seen people from high school that were popular walking the mall alone! Cheerleaders that would call my friends sluts, pregnant RIGHT after H.S. and most of all, I had a better job then half the people that claimed they had "goals"!

It's not about what you are or aren't in school, it's what you make of yourself after school!!!

Take care and keep your chin up darlin'!!

P.S.

Let me know if you want them beat up!?! LOL

nif · 01-17-2003, 02:28 AM

Hey Saralee!
I agree with my fellow cysters. Once you're out of school all the "titles" don't mean jack! Of course that doesn't help you much NOW :-) but just keep looking forward and do your best to enjoy the present.
College is a whole new ballgame and you'll be surprised how many people you never see again from high school. I was in the "in crowd" in high school (big deal). Went to all the parties, blah,blah but I never talk with any of those people any more. Not that they aren't great folks, it's just that my priorities changed.
It will get better, trust me.
Take care,
--Jenn

nightrider · 02-24-2003, 12:57 PM

Stick in there Sarah. I have the same problems too. You're not alone

Puddinpie · 02-24-2003, 03:20 PM

Sarah,

I agree. I am now a junior in college and I have the type of friends now that I would have never hung out with...they aren't the coolest kids in school. I know it's toward the end of the year and you are almost done. just remember, when it is over, you are turning a new page and starting a new chapter in the novel GOd has written for you. Those people, if they really love you and value your friendship, will be there when you get married, when you have your first child and the day you die. Those are your real friends, not those who make fun of you. No friend does that. So I agree with the person who said that whoever you are in highschool doesnt mean a thing once you graduate. The people who will be successful are those who are true to who they are inside. SOrry to sound like a greeting card, but it is SO true.

GOod luck with the rest of you senior year!!! IM me anytime
CouCouAchoo
email: Puddinpie4b@hotmail.com