Links | Links 2 | Links 3 | Links 4 |

Go Back   PCOS Message Board > The Mother 'Hood' > The Adoption Option...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-01-2008, 01:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
Livin and lovin w/pcos
 
Naymarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Cloud, Minnesota
Posts: 247
My Mood:
Naymarie will become famous soon enoughNaymarie will become famous soon enough
Points: 17,051.83
Bank: 25,901.74
Total Points: 42,953.57
Default Why so long before we apply?

So, we have now been told that we can't apply because we haven't been married long enough. They don't count the fact that we've been a couple since 1999... Why?! I don't get it. We know each other in and out. I have wanted a child since I was 14... and my desire only gets stronger. I've had to stop talking to people in my family that are pregnant because I cry when I look at them.

One day... right?!

Thanks all for listening!!
__________________
Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28

My Newfie (Lisa)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie

Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naymarie is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Old 02-01-2008, 07:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member since Aug. 2003
 
Miss-Meme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southern IN
Posts: 5,321
My Mood:
Miss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond repute
Points: 48,790.67
Bank: 376,569,311.24
Total Points: 376,618,101.91
Default

I think they just want to make sure that you are in a stable marriage before putting a child in the mix. There's not really proof that your were a 'couple' for that many years, but marriage is proof that you have been together since that day.

I can understand to a point. They want to try to put these children in the best home they can find.

I personally think everyone should have to go through what us adoptive parents have to do to have a child.
__________________
Amy (33) SAHM &
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Join for free...only 2 more days!
Husband (37)
Son (2 1/2 year)


Married May 1995
DX Feb 1996
Miss-Meme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2008, 08:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
China Adoption Mama!
 
~Traci~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 5,002
My Mood:
~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold
Points: 46,642.51
Bank: 0.00
Total Points: 46,642.51
Default

I completely understand why. It's a lot of stress on a marriage to add a baby/child. They want to make sure the baby/child is in a stable home. They go by marriage time b/c it's a legal time you've been together.

That being said, I think it's a little silly b/c there are single ppl that can adopt & be in/out of relationships all the time!

Good Luck!
Traci
__________________

Married 6 years (1/16/03) to my wonderful husband!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

1 DD (B: 9/06; A: 8/07)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

2 fur kitties- 9 angels (Single Loss 05/03; Quad Loss 09/03-D&C; Twin Loss 02/04; Twin Loss 2004. All RPL testing "normal" No cause found ('05 & '09)

New Gonal-F cycle started 9/5/09- Cancelled 9/14/09 due to too many follies all growing the same (all under 10mm still) Started Soy 120mg CD12-16!
RE said IVF next
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
....starting IVF Feb/March 2010

2550mg Met
100mcg Levothroxine
Prenatal
Baby ASA
~Traci~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2008, 02:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
Livin and lovin w/pcos
 
Naymarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Cloud, Minnesota
Posts: 247
My Mood:
Naymarie will become famous soon enoughNaymarie will become famous soon enough
Points: 17,051.83
Bank: 25,901.74
Total Points: 42,953.57
Default

Thanks you guys!!! BTW, your children are gorgeous!
__________________
Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28

My Newfie (Lisa)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie

Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naymarie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2008, 08:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
Mama to an energetic boy!
 
calches's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: DFW, TEXAS
Posts: 909
Blog Entries: 1
My Mood:
calches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to behold
Points: 55,430.42
Bank: 41,250.20
Total Points: 96,680.63
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss-Meme View Post
I think they just want to make sure that you are in a stable marriage before putting a child in the mix. There's not really proof that your were a 'couple' for that many years, but marriage is proof that you have been together since that day.

I can understand to a point. They want to try to put these children in the best home they can find.

I personally think everyone should have to go through what us adoptive parents have to do to have a child.
I thinkn that everyone should have to have an interview before they have kids...some of the questions that dh and I have to answer is so personal...I don't want to even go through an agency b/c of the just the amt. of more questions that we have to go through...
__________________
Mommy to a very energetic, giggly little boy!
calches is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2008, 09:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member since Aug. 2003
 
Miss-Meme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southern IN
Posts: 5,321
My Mood:
Miss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond reputeMiss-Meme has a reputation beyond repute
Points: 48,790.67
Bank: 376,569,311.24
Total Points: 376,618,101.91
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by calches View Post
I thinkn that everyone should have to have an interview before they have kids...some of the questions that dh and I have to answer is so personal...I don't want to even go through an agency b/c of the just the amt. of more questions that we have to go through...
You still have personal questions if you don't use an agency, because you still have to have a homestudy.
__________________
Amy (33) SAHM &
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Join for free...only 2 more days!
Husband (37)
Son (2 1/2 year)


Married May 1995
DX Feb 1996
Miss-Meme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2008, 10:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
Mama to an energetic boy!
 
calches's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: DFW, TEXAS
Posts: 909
Blog Entries: 1
My Mood:
calches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to beholdcalches is a splendid one to behold
Points: 55,430.42
Bank: 41,250.20
Total Points: 96,680.63
Default

Meme...i know...we have done the homestudy but with all of the Texas agency that we looked at AFTER we got the h/s done...we still had to do all their questions...and have interviews with them...with an alternative way...they just get your h/s and profile and talk to you....no lenghty 50 page thing to fill out...
__________________
Mommy to a very energetic, giggly little boy!
calches is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2008, 12:15 AM   #8 (permalink)
Livin and lovin w/pcos
 
Naymarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Cloud, Minnesota
Posts: 247
My Mood:
Naymarie will become famous soon enoughNaymarie will become famous soon enough
Points: 17,051.83
Bank: 25,901.74
Total Points: 42,953.57
Default

I don't mind answering any questions!!! They can ask me anything that they want to! All I want is my miracle!
__________________
Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28

My Newfie (Lisa)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie

Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naymarie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2008, 03:32 AM   #9 (permalink)
Registered User
 
mereseeley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 74
My Mood:
mereseeley will become famous soon enough
Points: 6,370.46
Bank: 62,763.81
Total Points: 69,134.27
Default

Hello, as a single person whom just completed an adoption. I would just like to add (not start a debate here) that there are many restrictions on your dating life while you are going through this process. All past relationships are scrutinized heavily.

Also if I had started dating anyone, I would have had to go back to the start of some of my paperwork and had him (the boyfriend) have a full background check and other forms completed; (which could have delayed the process). Basically treating him as a parent figure already. How would you do that to someone that you just started dating? Personally I found it easier to not date, to avoid that dilemma.

To add to this, each country and adoption agency has their own rules and ideas about what is acceptable as far as your dating life is concerned. I just wanted to add this, from someone who has gone through this process.

Naymarie- I am sorry that you have to wait a while longer. Think of it as time to put more money aside and to take that vacation (just the two of you). Once you start the process and after you bring your child home, everything changes. The changes are wonderful though and worth the pain the process may cause to get to the end. Good Luck, when you get the green light to go ahead!
__________________
- Mere, 31, DBF, 34 (4 years), DS 2, Adopted
- D/X PCOS: Fall '99 TTC #1

- See FF for history of what I have tried....


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
mereseeley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2008, 04:10 AM   #10 (permalink)
TTC since Dec '06
 
Btrflybeetle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southlake, TX
Posts: 209
My Mood:
Btrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond reputeBtrflybeetle has a reputation beyond repute
Points: 22,867.74
Bank: 26,389.58
Total Points: 49,257.32
Default

I know what you mean...this is SO not fair...we have the same problem...we actually tried to adopt before getting married and now we have to wait since we are married...it's stupid! If they accept same sex couples and look at how long they are together, they should do the same with straight couples. I understand your frustration!
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



Metformin 2500mg
Humalog Insulin
Prenatal Vitamins
Folic Acid 3mg
Fish Oil 3000mg
Evening Primrose Oil 3000mg
2/17/08 Femara 2.5mg (CD 3-7) - O'ed on CD 16
Progesterone 400mg (started 3/1/08)
---------------------------------


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Btrflybeetle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2008, 03:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
my journey!
 
kate1977's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest NM
Posts: 220
My Mood:
kate1977 is a jewel in the roughkate1977 is a jewel in the roughkate1977 is a jewel in the roughkate1977 is a jewel in the rough
Points: 8,105.63
Bank: 0.00
Total Points: 8,105.63
Default

I hope you dont mind me joining you ladies! I have been thinking about adopting a child as well as one day TTC. I have always wanted to help at least one child and make a difference in there life giving them a family. Best of wishes to everyone
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Me (Kate) 31 DH (Chris) 37

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

AF arrived 08/25/2009 YAY !!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Started Soy 160 mg 08/29/2009 !!!
kate1977 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2008, 01:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
Livin and lovin w/pcos
 
Naymarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Cloud, Minnesota
Posts: 247
My Mood:
Naymarie will become famous soon enoughNaymarie will become famous soon enough
Points: 17,051.83
Bank: 25,901.74
Total Points: 42,953.57
Default

Well we've looked into other agencies and it seems to only be our local ones that require the 3 year commitment first. We are going to an informational meeting down in the cities next week they are going to talk about the legal stuff the first night and then about the other general stuff at the next class in April. I'm excited yet a bit nurvous. We have also been talking about adopting from Russia or the Ukraine... we have someone in our family that speaks Russian so I wouldn't have an issue with the launguage barrier at least!
__________________
Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28

My Newfie (Lisa)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie

Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naymarie is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Post: 5.00

» Watch PCOS Videos

PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and the...
PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and the Mini-Gastric Bypass. Dr. Rutledge talks about the PolyCyst...

{widget place holder} {widget place holder}
 
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0.1

All times are GMT -3. The time now is 12:19 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.1.0
copyright 2002-2004