Tonight I found out that a very good friend is pg. I was happy for her until I heard her due date- right around the time my angel would have been turning one if I hadn't lost the pg. Now, I know I am lucky. Since my m/c I have had a beautiful baby boy, who despite quite a scare at birth is now doing very well. But I still think of my angel. I know I"m thinking more about it now as I'm approaching the 1 year anniversary of my loss. The fact that I have my first PP AF is a reminder of what was happening last year at this time. Will I always be so possessive over the first week of February? Will every baby born around that time remind me of what could have been? If I hadn't lost my angel, I wouldn't have Alexander- whom I love with all of my heart. But it still stings. Is that okay?
Just had to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.
Will I always be so possessive over the first week of February? Will every baby born around that time remind me of what could have been? If I hadn't lost my angel, I wouldn't have Alexander- whom I love with all of my heart. But it still stings. Is that okay?
Absolutely okay...i can relate to you 150%...especially right now. I lost my girls feb 8...and i think of them every single day without fail...they are part of my life as much as if they were playing at my feet...but every little anniversary...their birthday, their due date...anything...puts me into a tailspin. The first year was hard...that first anniversary is soooo hard...so i think what youre feeling is totally okay and normal. I have alot of triggers that take me right back...and yet i know this baby i carry now wouldnt be here if not for their passing...its a horrible emotional conflict...but we just have to feel what we feel...and move forward every day as best we can. Hugs to you
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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You have a right to your feelings, whatever they might be... always remember that. And yes, some dates or times of year will be hard forever... some years worse than others. It's totally normal.
I'm sorry to say that having Duncan has made it painfully clear what I've missed with Mary Catherine. It's a different kind of grief now. Like there's a floodlight on that open wound. Way too clear. It wouldn't surprise me if you are going through a little bit of this feeling as well.
Best wishes with your new one!
I agree with Sheri, your feelings are uniquely yours, your grieving process is uniquely yours, and even though you can celebrate having your son, it's still OK to mourn the one you lost.
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Sparky, our emergent cerclage baby, born at 23w1d on 3/4/07 through his cerclage. Died from NEC on 3/12/07. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Scooter 1/28/05 16w3d, IC
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Tater Tot 9/10/05 9w4d
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Pucky 6/11/07 blighted ovum Dx PCOS 10/2003.
TAC placed 6/28/07 at University of Chicago.
Moving on to IVF after a year of infertility and 3 Femara cycles. Lupron started on 7/27.
Will it ever get better? (pg ment.) 
