Hello,
i was only recently diagnosed with pcos, but i have been dealing with depression since i was in my early teens. A girlfriend of mine who has manic depression thinks i have manic depression as I have alot of the same feelings and symptoms as her. All through highschool i had eating disorders and even when i was skinny i seriously thought i was fat and not only that i have always hated the person i am. I am having severe mood swings at the moment, and what makes this whole pcos thing hard is that everyone i know has a baby and i always thought i'd be the first of my friends to have a baby and so did they. I have very low self esteem and dont like the way i am emotionally and physically. I feel like the world is against me. nothing has ever gone right in my life and i feel like i've been cheated out of a normal life. I come from a christian upbringing and even though i believe everything i've been taught, i feel so angry and hurt that my life is so bad.I should be happy, i have a husband and a family that loves me, but i just hate myslef sometimes. I just dont want to get out of bed sometimes. ITs all too painful!! Can anyone help me? Will pcos meds help this or should i see a doc? I have an appt with a gyno on 23rd may will she be able to help me? Should I mention this to her? I have trouble telling ppl how my life is even when i am happy (a confidence problem) and i felt like she looked down on me when i told her how my relationship was with my hubby.... She said JUST ok?? As if I shouldnt be ttc if things are JUST ok. I love my hubby i am just depressed and am a terrible liar. Anyway sorry i didnt mean this post to be soooooo long but anythoughts on this or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Mel Z
I, myself am bi-polar (manic depressive) and I have an anxiety disorder as well. I would suggest that you go talk to a psychiatrist, just to be evaluated...if they put you on meds atleast that will help you in the present, and then maybe you could talk to a counselor or something so that you could get some insight about some of the other things that bother you. It may just be your hormones too, so I would seek medical help for that too...it's like you have to attack things from all angles- it's something and it may be all of it causing you to feel this way. But, you can over come it- just take it one step at a time and don't overwhelm yourself...It's okay to be angry and be hurt at God, or your family...life isn't easy. Sometimes he has to let people go through things in their lives to bring them closer to Him, if we allow him to bring us through valleys in our life, then we will become stronger. If we turn away and try to do it on our own, we will only get so far...do you know what I'm saying? I hope this encourages you to seek some help- I know it's really hard, but you can do it girl!! I'm praying for you!
__________________ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Mel Z-
I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now. I stareted dealing with depression as a child, treated as a teenager and in my early 20's most intensely. I completely understand your reluctance to share with your doc or anyone else, but I truly want to encourage you to do so. For me, when I don't share and keep my thoughts to myself, the thoughts and depression only seem to get more out of control. I very recently went back on meds after years of functioning very well. It felt like a blow to my selfesteem, but we have to remember that it is a real chemical problem. I also started back to a counselor and that has been very helpful. I have such a hard time discussing my feelings in person, but I struggle through and she has me email her once a week because I tend to be much more open then. Anyways.... Once I share my thoughts and feelings they have much less power over me. I feel so much less "crazy", and I feel like it isn't a secret anymore. Plus... It is an hour every 1-3 weeks that is all about me... No kids, no hubby, no nothing. I actually get to put my needs first. Please talk to your doc. They may refer you to a psychiatrist of they may be willing to begin to treat you. If your doc does not give you a good supportive response, find another. I do not live in a big city and we have very few psychiatrists and a lot of them are not good, but my OB/GYN's PA is fabulous and very supportive and she has been willing to treat me. If you have any questions or need support please feel free to PM me. Take Care. I would really recommend finding a good counselor... your doc may be able to recommend one.
Hi girls,
Sorry about the late reply, our computer has been playing up and we haven't been able to get onto the internet. Thanx heaps for your support, im starting to feel a bit better, though im still up and down at the moment, i think im just a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but when i speak to the doc on monday i'll mention all of this to her. Some of the girls at work said that im not coping because i havent given myself time to think about it or talk to anyone about it. Therefor when i start thinking about it i break down. I really want to have a baby which makes it hard thinking i may not be able to or have trouble conceiving. Sometimes it feels like noone cares or understands. Its good to speak to people in the same situation as me.
So thanx again
Mel Z
Please talk openly with your doc! they can help you!
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
Let me tell you, reading your post was like taking a page out of my own book!! I come from a long line of women with clinical depression, and from what you've said, I'd bet that you would absolutely benefit from seeing a counselor for one and getting some meds from your doctor. I started taking Zoloft in January per the advice of my marriage counselor. Being only 28 and married less than a year, I thought going to marriage counseling was bad enough, but to have to go on anti-depressants was what I thought the worst thing in the world. Looking back now, I can honestly say taking the Zoloft was the best thing I've ever done. I no longer feel like everything is spinning out of control. My husband and I actually enjoy our time together again because I'm not so moody. I used to laugh at him one minute and be at his throat the next for something really stupid. My depression almost ruined my marriage. I can completely understand about feeling like God had let you down. From the day I was born, nothing seemed to be easy for me, I feel like my entire life has been a struggle sometimes. But, with a little help from meds and good friends, you'll get through it, I promise. Just don't be afraid to ask the doctor for help, and if you feel like he/she is looking down on you for ANY reason, find a new doctor!! Remember, If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it!!
Will Meds Make me feel better? 
