 woke up in panic/cold sweat ...
... I'm not sure exactly why but there may be some contributing factors.
a) I might be moving but I'm not sure where to yet and I would have to give up my nice apartment, nice weather, nice people. I just don't want to make the wrong choice but I have only found a volunteer job and my parents are funding me 100 percent (I live in NC).
A friend thought she found a job for me near Boston but then it fell through - my dad was all for me moving there though. I wanted to reach my weight loss goal before I left but I have about 45 pounds to go and I don't know if that will happen by December 20 (when lease ends).
I'm not sure whether to go to my high school reunion in October - I was 50 lbs less than I am now when I was in high school and I don't want people to judge me (plus it would cost a total of $300 to fly down to Florida and pay for the reunion).
b) I haven't had a serious boyfriend since March of 2001. Had two one month relationships that ended in the first case because he was pressuring me for anal sex and the second because he was 19 and acting immature and moody/bossing me around.
When I broke up with him he said "You are 28 and run off with daddy's credit card; who else mooches off their family at 28? I've also seen you use people for rides like you used me." (I am visually impaired and can't drive. My friends said that he was totally wrong on saying I used people for rides though). He said the last time a girl broke up with him he got really depressed and almost killed himself - so I called the nonemergency police line to do a wellness cneck. Ever since then though I keep asking myself, "Do I mooch off them? What's wrong with me?"
c) I'm still a virgin; had one friend who also was and now he's not. Somehow this makes me feel loserish and I think about all the sex I missed out on for the past 10 years. I date guys but none seem to be the right ones for me.
d) I wonder if I have "wasted time" living where I do and whether if I had moved somewhere else after college I would have had a good relationship by now, slept with someone, had a good job, gotten around more because of better public transit since I can't drive, etc. I end up telling myself "You have wasted your 20s" and that makes me feel even worse. I worry that I will make a bad decision.
Anyway that's about it ... any similar experience/advice would be appreciated! | 
