Would you forgive? (Bipolar)

MissBehave · 05-03-2008, 09:05 AM

Would you forgive your bipolar friend not congratulating you on your marrige?

I'm really confused. I'm bipolar myself and I've been hospitalized twice in my life. It was years and years ago but I know how bad it can be. Now I'm finding it really difficult to forgive my friend not taking any action trying to congratulate us. I know she's been through really difficult phase, I know, I know. But not even an e-mail, not a post card, not even a sms. WHAT?!?

4 weeks have passed and I now finally contacted her. I understand her situation is really hard at the moment and I told her that. But still no congratulations... I feel really sad. I guess I can forgive her but do I still have the right to be hurt?

I love her but now when she's out of the woods - is it too much to expect her to be happy for our marrige?

ivetastedflight · 05-03-2008, 11:51 AM

Would you forgive your regular friend for not congratulating you on your marriage?

What ever the answer, it goes the same for the bipolar friend, no matter where she's at. A simple phrase is not beyond the comprehension of someone who is mentally ill. I always felt myself socially hyper-aware when I was cycling....

Bipolar disorder is not an excuse to be inconsiderate, especially if you two are as close as you appear to each other. I also know how selfish bipolar people can be when they are having a hard time, especially if they are pretty newly diagnosed. i don't know about your friend, though.

No matter what, BIPOLAR DISORDER should never fall under the list of excuses for anything.

Medication, or medication adjustments: painful? Nearly most of the time. Helpful in some way? Nearly all of the time.

Good luck with your friend.

And congratulations on your marriage! I wish you many, many years of love and happiness!

jennilane · 05-04-2008, 02:34 AM

It wouldnt bother me. I would wait until she is out from under her dark cloud and then let her know you were hurt. It sounds like she is in a bad place right now and saying something now would do no good.

Sorry your feelings are hurt right now but I think someday you will get to tell her how you felt and you wont lose your friendship over it.

RACHELLE32 · 05-06-2008, 03:07 PM

I can see why you are hurt, I would be too. But also having come from a family of mental illness and studying psych alot in college too, I would TRY my hardest to be patient, loving and forgiving. If you guys are as close as it seems, I would not want to jeopordize your friendship. Friends are way too important. Yes, she should acknowledge it. I would feel her out and/or just come out and be direct and talk to her about it. Pray about it first. Congrats on your new marriage. It is such an exciting time in one's life! I have been happily married for 11 years. I wouldn't trade my hubby/marriage for anything.

kittykisses · 05-09-2008, 06:36 PM

Actually, to me, it isn't a big deal. Forgive and forget.

05-03-2008, 09:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
MissBehave Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Europe Posts: 308 Points: 1,221.04 Bank: 4,118.36 Total Points: 5,339.40 Donate	Would you forgive? (Bipolar) Would you forgive your bipolar friend not congratulating you on your marrige? I'm really confused. I'm bipolar myself and I've been hospitalized twice in my life. It was years and years ago but I know how bad it can be. Now I'm finding it really difficult to forgive my friend not taking any action trying to congratulate us. I know she's been through really difficult phase, I know, I know. But not even an e-mail, not a post card, not even a sms. WHAT?!? 4 weeks have passed and I now finally contacted her. I understand her situation is really hard at the moment and I told her that. But still no congratulations... I feel really sad. I guess I can forgive her but do I still have the right to be hurt? I love her but now when she's out of the woods - is it too much to expect her to be happy for our marrige? __________________ 29 yrs old thin cyster (bmi 21) Dx: pco, endometriosis, bp Taking: Zinc, Vit-D and Gymnema Sylvestre Licorice root and spearmint tea (cd 5-15) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by MissBehave : 05-03-2008 at 09:15 AM.

05-03-2008, 11:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
ivetastedflight Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: U.S. Posts: 261 My Mood: Points: 590.80 Bank: 34,012.44 Total Points: 34,603.24 Donate	Would you forgive your regular friend for not congratulating you on your marriage? What ever the answer, it goes the same for the bipolar friend, no matter where she's at. A simple phrase is not beyond the comprehension of someone who is mentally ill. I always felt myself socially hyper-aware when I was cycling.... Bipolar disorder is not an excuse to be inconsiderate, especially if you two are as close as you appear to each other. I also know how selfish bipolar people can be when they are having a hard time, especially if they are pretty newly diagnosed. i don't know about your friend, though. No matter what, BIPOLAR DISORDER should never fall under the list of excuses for anything. Medication, or medication adjustments: painful? Nearly most of the time. Helpful in some way? Nearly all of the time. Good luck with your friend. And congratulations on your marriage! I wish you many, many years of love and happiness! __________________ I want to rip off your logic and make passionate sense to you. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

05-04-2008, 02:34 AM	#3 (permalink)
jennilane ~~~June Bride~~~ Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Vancouver, Wa Posts: 72 My Mood: Points: 468.77 Bank: 75.81 Total Points: 544.58 Donate	It wouldnt bother me. I would wait until she is out from under her dark cloud and then let her know you were hurt. It sounds like she is in a bad place right now and saying something now would do no good. Sorry your feelings are hurt right now but I think someday you will get to tell her how you felt and you wont lose your friendship over it. __________________ ~Jenni 29 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Darren 32 ~ttc#1 with PCOS & hypothyroid since 2002 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ~2002-2005 -2 BFPs ended in early M/C ~HSG in 2004 all clear! ~2005-2008 break from ttc ~March 08 ttc again! - al natural - BFN ~April 08- 500 mg MET & 50mg Clomid cd 5-9 BFN ~May 08 500 mg MET & 50mg Clomid CD 5-9...? To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

05-06-2008, 03:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
RACHELLE32 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 139 My Mood: Points: 10,082.18 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 10,082.18 Donate	I can see why you are hurt, I would be too. But also having come from a family of mental illness and studying psych alot in college too, I would TRY my hardest to be patient, loving and forgiving. If you guys are as close as it seems, I would not want to jeopordize your friendship. Friends are way too important. Yes, she should acknowledge it. I would feel her out and/or just come out and be direct and talk to her about it. Pray about it first. Congrats on your new marriage. It is such an exciting time in one's life! I have been happily married for 11 years. I wouldn't trade my hubby/marriage for anything. __________________ Kara -34 Proud to be a Catholic Cyster stay at home mom/nursing student Dx Pcos 01-01 Hypertension Hyperthyroidism Depression/Anxiety/ADD tendencies Proud Mama of Luke 5 Jacob 3 Gracie 1 Proud wife of Phil since 04-26-97

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05-09-2008, 06:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
kittykisses Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 745 My Mood: Points: 78,007.36 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 78,007.36 Donate	Actually, to me, it isn't a big deal. Forgive and forget.