Mustard Seed

The young married group at my church has a weekly "newletter" that is passed out to those in the group, and each week one couple has a write-up about them. Yesterday, we were given an informational sheet to fill out about ourselves. Dh and I are the only couple in the whole class that doesn't have children, and I'm kinda stuck on what to do when I fill it out, since there is heading that states "children's names and ages". Only two other couples know about our m/c, or that we're even ttc, so I've thought about just writing N/A or leaving it blank. But then part of me feels like I am betraying my baby to do that. My child did exist, although he/she doesn't have a name, and never lived past 9 weeks. So I've also thought about writing "One child in heaven. Died 9/05." I'm scared of the questions we might get if I did write that. I don't want people to feel sorry for us, or feel like they need to talk to us about it, but now that we're back to ttc and it's not working, I feel like that first baby might be the only one we ever have, so I want people to at least know that we are parents, even if they don't think of us that way. Sorry this is so rambling. If anyone has any ideas about whether you would mention a m/c this far past it or not, I'd really appreciate your thoughts.

__________________

VeganMom

How about talking your feelings over with your church leader? (Pastor, Rev, etc.?)

If it were me, I wouldn't mention it. I tend to be really private though.

VeganMom

SheriKCMO

I think I would mention that I was hoping for a family and have experienced problems achieving it... If I plan to be close to the people, I'd list it specifically. ((Hugs))

__________________
Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs

First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks

Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs

mtm71401

This is a hard one. On the plus side you would have many people praying for you and your upcoming family. On the other side you may have questions you don't feel like going over again. I really liked Sheri's idea about mentioning that you are planning to expand and that it has been difficult. Don't ever feel that because you are not ready to share your pain that you are betraying your angel. That is just not so!!!

Mustard Seed

Thanks for the responses, ladies. A lot of the couples are friends that we are pretty close to, or that I see us getting closer to in the future. I really doubt that many will ask about it, so I might say that we have a child in heaven. You would think that most people would realize that we probably hadn't mentioned it before because we didn't want to discuss it with anyone and everyone, and hopefully respect that now too.

Tamara - Thanks hun.

Fee - I've heard of people having a m/c and not being able to get pg again, so I'm just being realistic in spite of my "young" age. And that clock really is ticking for me already... no luck finding a snooze button yet either. LOL!

__________________