All my friends have boy friends but me. but also im the only big girl. Like, i dunno y boys dont like me....... im nice. people allways like being around me, but when it comes to a relationship, boys dont wana date me. they keep saying they dont wana reuin the friendship, but i think has to do with other sruff. i lost one of my best friends over the summer cause he says he is shallow, and is embarrassed of me because i am fat. since then i feel so self concious. i feel thats the way all guys feel about me. i look at my thin friends and watch how like every week they have a different boy friend. y do people have to judge by looks?? i hate this. i need some words of wisdom.
__________________ ~Liz To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I felt like that throughout highschool myself - I certainly had a few friends, but, while everyone else was dating, going to the prom, and things like that, I was doing homework. And usually crying. By the time I hit senior year, I realized that it wasn't me who had the problem, it was everyone else. If those people cared so little about the people around them that they were judging them by looks, then they could just kiss my butt. I didn't need those kinds of people in my life. I wish I could tell you that miraculously after that, I found a boyfriend, but I didn't...at least, not then.
I went away to college, very scared, because I was so far from home, didn't know anyone, and looked different. I was lucky, though, to find people who liked me for me, and not for how I looked when I came to class. When I was 22, I finally found a decent guy (of course, it took a lot to convince him that he needed to take me to lunch!) We've been together now for nearly seven years, and married for one. He doesn't care if I'm big - in fact, he doesn't want me to be a little tiny girl, though he would like if we both lost some of our weight just for health. He doesn't care that I have hair everywhere - it's just not an issue for him. He does care that I love him very much, and would do anything for him, and he feels the same. We've brought out the best (and sometimes the worst!) in each other, and we plan on doing it for a very long time.
I know it's so hard now, because you feel so left out. There's nothing I can do or say that can make you feel better, because it's not easy. I know that. I can tell you, though, that someday, people will start appreciating you for who you are, not how you look. It just takes some time for everyone to grow up.
In the meantime, focus on you. Make sure you're comfortable with who you are, and what you will become. Remember that most of these people you go to school with now will fade out of your life eventually. They're not the ones walking in your shoes; they've not been through what you've been through, so they have no right to take away from your happiness. We all have our own stories to tell, we just need to learn how to write them.
Thank you. latly its been hard. i dont think they can take away my happieness because i have to happieness to take. everyone allways tells me how much of a good person i am but inside i dont like myself because of what i look like and how people judge me. im sure i will get over all of this and become stronger. im just in a depressed mood right now. the last "boy friend" i had was in the 6th grade, and he allways used to hit me and tell me what to do. now he is a big druggie and on the path to nowhere. Im just trying to be a better person and make a good life for myself. Im just hoping that all this waiting will one day bring somone who is perfect for me. thank you for ur reply. Man the teen years are hard, lol.
__________________ ~Liz To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Is it ever! If it makes you feel any better, I've never had a boyfriend. Like kryschen said, you just have to accept that it's not you that has a problem, it's everyone who doesn't accept you for the way you are. (((((((((((((hugz)))))))))))))))
__________________ Cherish forever what makes you unique, cuz you're really a yawn if it goes! --Bette Midler
Dx October 2000
Ortho-Evra (bc patches)
Trying for 120 lb. (HA!)
1 FAT brat cat sweetie pie fur baby (8 yrs., orange tabby)
When I was younger people used to tell me I had the body of a dancer. Well, I don't anymore. I have the body of a goddess.
I went through the same thing when I was in high school. I was always the girl that had friends that were boys but no boyfriends. At times it was very frustrating, and I'm sure that is where you are at right now. But it gets a lot easier. Like our other cysters have said that problem does not lay in you, but your peers. At this age everyone is concerned about what everyone else is thinking. Everyone wants to fit in, be accepted, be the perfect teenager that you see in the movies with the perfect boyfriend and really popular and the whole bit. But if you think about it, it really doesn't matter what other people think of you. Its is how you value yourself inside that counts. Enjoy the time with your friends, enjoy your life spending time doing what you enjoy. Don't worry about who is with who or who is not with you. My advice would be to get involved with activities and hobbys and whatever you enjoy that way when your next love interest comes along you will have stuff to talk about, and include each other in.
And trust me after high school, things get a lot easier, more layed back, and a lot more fun. People stop thinking about whos watching them do whatever and start thinking with their hearts.
Ya know after I completed high school I met a really nice guy that I dated for a while. He was the high school all star quarter back from my high school, he graduated one year before me. We had not meet in high school except for once and he didn't remember me. But we dated for 2 years. Funny how things work out.
Last edited by cyndall_56; 01-28-2003 at 02:54 AM.
I was always the one without a boyfriend in high school. I am almost 20 and have never had a boyfriend. It bites the big one. I have lots of friends who like me for me, and while that is SOOO important, I wish I could share my life with a guy. Its weird, too, cause one of my good guy friends (correcion, only guy friend) from high school acted weird thew year he graduated (the year before me) .. kissed me on the cheek, took me out, etc. I feel like he almost was my boyfriend.. And he stoped by my house a few weeks ago.. I wanna call him and go to dinner so badly, but he's like a loser now.. And I don't need that. Just because I see him as familiar and "tangible" doesn't mean I should try to date him.
AH, but it would be so nice..
__________________ Put some excitement between your legs.. RIDE A HORSE!
I'm feeling ... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I know how you are feeling right about now. When I was in high school I felt the exact same way. I had lots of friends, which included lots of guy friends. My guy friends were always just friends with me but would always be dating one of the other girls in our group. I felt like no boy would ever find me attractive because I was fat(although I was at my thinnest!) and I was ugly. But the summer before my senior year I just decided to forget about trying to snag a boyfriend and have fun. During the summer I met my husband and it was like every bad thought I had about myself was gone, and it wasn't just because I had a boyfriend it was because I had come across the one for me. And even through weight gaining and being diagnosed he still makes me feel beautiful and special.
You just have to get to the point where you don't really care if you have a boyfriend or not. Everyone has a match and you will find him when you least expect it.
And as far as all that partying and other stuff goes. I never did that stuff and I am really glad I didn't. I just wasn't into it. And if you aren't you shouldn't do it either.
Oh and lastly, you are a beautiful person on the inside and out, as long as you believe that then other people will see that too!
I feel your pain.
I've been struggling with my weight all my life,
but i know there will be someone special out there for me.
Just chill, and remember, any guy that won't go out with you,
is a total jerk.
It's been awhile since you wrote this post, and I am hoping you are feeling better.
Yes the teenage years can be hard, especially if you don't fit the stereotype of tall, slim and beautiful, and at nearly 37 my teenage years are but a dim memory, but I do remember what a shallow bunch we were.
Who needs so called friends who can't accept you for yourself, thats their problem not yours, you sound like lovely young lady, so please don't beat yourself up about not having a boyfriend, just be confident in yourself, focus on and do things for yourself, and remember your Prince Charming is out there, just waiting to find you.
It's been awhile since you wrote this post, and I am hoping you are feeling better.
Yes the teenage years can be hard, especially if you don't fit the stereotype of tall, slim and beautiful, and at nearly 37 my teenage years are but a dim memory, but I do remember what a shallow bunch we were.
Who needs so called friends who can't accept you for yourself, thats their problem not yours, you sound like lovely young lady, so please don't beat yourself up about not having a boyfriend, just be confident in yourself, focus on and do things for yourself, and remember your Prince Charming is out there, just waiting to find you.
I know exactly how you feel, but I wish i had someone to reach out to like you have here now in us, and whenever you are angry and want to shout at the world just know that your cysters are here for you!
Girl we feel your pain, but know that you are beautiful and unique and have so much to offer, I know it is hard to see now but you will, and you will find a realtionship that is meaningful and one that last.
__________________ Wholistic living
Healthy Toxic free eating
No presciption meds
Herbs
4 Furbabies
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Hey Lizzie,
don't stress about boyfriends so much. I was the same way as everyone else who has replied. I went through high school having tons of friends that were boys but no boyfriends. I have to say it has definatly worked out for the best.... the friendships i made with all of those boys in high school have lasted throughout college and I think of it as always having people to party and hang out with.
Honestly, I don't think I was ready for a relationship in high school because when I finally started to respect myself and get my life together and stopped LOOKING for a boyfriend, the greatest guy in the world came into my life. We have only been together for 6 months but it seems like it's been forever and we are now engaged.
Eventually when you stop stressing, things will start to balance out for you!
Steph
hahah i posted this like 4 yrs ago, wow, i was a freak, lol. Since then i have had a boyfriend for 2 yrs, hes a cool kid, i like him, lol. he is smaller than me and rather handsome. i pick on him and tell him not to eat cuz i dont date fatties, lol. (im big) hes amazing, so i guess there is hope.
__________________ ~Liz To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
got any tips then? cause I gotta say at 21 i feel so embarresed to say I have never had a boyfriend, it has never been a problem of self image or outwards image, I'm not overweight or underweight just normal! and all my friends have boyfriends or at least heaps of guys as friends, I only have one!
Haaaa you gals humor me! I'm telling you boys will get on your nerves. Dont get me wrong, some of them are rather sweet, I just wouldnt go ranting on about any of them. Trust me, I've been with the same guy for five years and we've been married 8 months. And from experience those guys who are "just friends" turn out to be the best mates. If a man cant see you for your true worth, he doesnt deserve you. I kinda miss being single, although I wouldnt trade my husband for the world.....Boys well...they'll always be around so I wouldnt stress it!
ps...there are dating sites dedicated to bbw, Id look into one of them cause those guys think us extra thick chicks rock!
Y is it so hard for me 2 get a boy friend? 
If it makes you feel any better, I've never had a boyfriend. Like kryschen said, you just have to accept that it's not you that has a problem, it's everyone who doesn't accept you for the way you are. (((((((((((((hugz)))))))))))))))
When you least expect, he will find you 
