Your Experience With Therapists

fairy2323 · 05-25-2009, 07:02 AM

I recently started seeing a therapist for anxiety/ panic. I have been to see her every week for 5 weeks. She is a psychologist and not a psychiatrist so she doesn't prescribe drugs. I have never been to a therapist before so I'm not sure what is supposed to be happening when you go, but it seems like we are getting nowhere. I should first off state that I really do like her. I feel comfortable talking to her and she's a very nice person, but she hasn't "done" anything for me. She has been encouraging me to go to either my regular doctor or a psychiatrist and ask for meds which I do not want. Part of my anxiety/panic is brought on by feeling out of control and I am scared that taking one of these medications will make me feel out of control of my body (long story on this one but it had to do with an anti-depressant that was prescribed to me as a teenager for migranes---very bad reaction). Anyway I am, to say the least, hesitant to take meds, but she is pretty insistant that I at least get a prescription for them.

On top of this it seem like all we do is BS (for lack of better words) when I go in there. She will ask me how my week was- I will tell her- she might ask a question or two and then we will start talking about random things. Half of my last appointment was spent talking about our pets and where to get good produce in this city. For the first couple of appointments I thought that she was doing this to make me feel more comfortable talking to her, but now I'm starting to wonder if this is all we are going to do. She hasn't made any suggestions as to how I should handle things- often times it seems like there are long silences while she thinks of a question to ask me- and she asks very few of what I would consider to be "relavent" questions. I kind of feel like I am initiating most of the conversations.

Again, I do really like her and it was very hard for me to even start going there. I would hate to have to change therapists, but I am left to wonder if this is normal in the beginning. What has your experience been with therapists. What can you tell me about what your sessions consist of etc? Thanks for any input!

februarystar · 05-25-2009, 08:26 AM

I had very little 'conversation' with my therapist. It was all down to how my anxiety had been and what brought it on.
Perhaps ask her if you can keep the small talk to a minimum to get the most out of your sessions and see how it goes?

thebluefox22 · 05-26-2009, 01:01 PM

If you are looking to find a therapist who is more oriented to doing something rather than talking through your anxiety I would recommend a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist because they will actually give you activities to do to work through your anxiety. It just sounds like she is not a good fit for you and your needs and that is okay. If she is a good therapist she will make an appropriate referral to someone else.

Also there are many Cognitive Behavioral oriented self-help type books out there that may help you work through some of the anxiety symptoms on your own. You might want to check those out. Good luck to you.

gaias_child · 06-03-2009, 12:57 AM

With my therapist we do a mix of "light work" (how was your week? Why was it a struggle? things like that) and the "deep work" (what happened to trigger this anxiety? When did it start?) that sort of thing. She also sends me home with "homework" things to think about and work on while I'm not with her. We also do a bit of visulization work and building skills so I can handle upcoming stresses and things. It took me a while to find the right therapist. Mine does DBT skill building and CBT.

06-04-2009, 08:17 PM

It can take a long time to find a good therapist...I went to one at my university, who immediately sent me to the doctor to get tested for manic depressive (I could have told the therapist that wasnt it....oh wait I did that...). Thankfully I found a great one through my mom, who has really helped me a lot. There was very little small talk, except for asking about things that triggered my anxiety during the week, etc.

I would ask her to not do the small talk, or maybe look for a new therapist...

KatCarney · 06-04-2009, 08:35 PM

Why not ask her directly what you can reasonably expect from your sessions with her. (Don't offer commentary on what has been happening...)

Maybe ask her if there are any non-Rx drug treatments for what you're experiencing (like maybe biofeedback).

I know that many therapists treat anxiety with biofeedback. (it's AMAZING)

doesitinspire · 06-11-2009, 02:12 AM

I am a therapist. I love when clients give me feedback and share their responses to sessions.

Feeling frustrated is something that is so valuable to understanding your own feelings and your treatment. I'd recommend bringing the issue up with her in session. It might feel aggressive, but its actually indicative of a good alliance with your therapist. I'm not anti-CBT by any stretch of the imagination, but I think there is alot to be said for one's ability to just "sit" with anxiety and difficult feelings. Sometimes being overactive in our response just avoids the root of the problem with another calculated defense.

Therapy can be a long process. But YOU are the consumer and are entitled to the experience that you'd prefer. Good luck!

fairy2323 · 06-12-2009, 06:45 AM

Thanks to everyone for your insights. I think I will go to her a few more times and see where things go. I also have an appt with my regular doctor coming up and I am going to ask her opinion. I think there is a therapist that works out of her office. Perhaps I will see what they have to offer as well.

KatCarney · 06-12-2009, 10:34 AM

That's awesome advice, Lauren!

Fairy, as I recall, you've successfully lost a lot of weight, right? Has your anxiety been worse since your weight loss? Mine was. In fact, I never had anxiety problems BEFORE weight loss.

Many people I've spoken to who have lost tremendous amounts of weight report the same thing.

The first 2 years after losing the 90 were the worst. Do you remember SC member ChristyZ? I seem to recall her having some posts years ago about the first couple of years 'post weight loss' being rather hard in certain aspects.

fairy2323 · 06-12-2009, 01:18 PM

Hi Kat- The anxiety definately did start after I lost weight, but it's never occured to me that it could have anything to do with it. The main "trigger" that I can recall was last year after a bad car accdient. That's when everything pretty much stopped for me. Prior to that I was experiencing mild anxiety but I was able to work through it and force myself to do things. Now I'm practically trapped in the house most of the time.

Bethann · 06-15-2009, 01:49 PM

On the one hand, I got a lot out of cognative behavioral therapy in terms of coping with anxiety, but like most people I ended up needing medication anyway. It helped me find the confidence to stand up to my father about the way he continued to treat me.

On the other hand, her repeatedly telling me I was too "normal" to be bipolar, only delayed my acceptance and appropriate treatment, and is yet another example of the terrible stigma that accompanies bipolar.

Tina Castle · 07-05-2009, 04:59 AM

It sounds like she's not the right therapist for you. I had the same issue with the first psychologist I went to when I was 17. All the woman did was berate me and she made me feel like my problems were so minimal comapred to hers (honestly!). I stopped going after 4 sessions.

Then when I was 19 I switched to a Christian counselor and we just clicked from day one. She listened and gave me the very best advice. She helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I suggest switching therapists. I doubt the one you have now will be offended if you choose someone else. Good luck!

RockyVT08 · 07-07-2009, 12:47 AM

gaiaschild- you are like my PCOS twin, I find you EVERYWHERE! LOL

My therapist does a bit of the how was your day stuff and small talk, but it is usually just to get me warmed up. I take a little while to get out of my shell and get to the real stuff. If she isn't bringing up real issues I would mention it, because the important thing is that you benefit from the session.

gaias_child · 07-07-2009, 11:53 AM

Jessica...hehehehe!!
I think it's really important to talk about some of the day to day stuff though. My therapist and I got deeply into this topic last week in session because I was worried that I was straying away from those "hard hurtful" topics in favor for the ups and downs of my previous week. We talked about how yea...clients can use that as an avoiding tool...(as I felt I was starting to do) but also it gives insight into how the past effects today, how you deal with things, what coping tools you currently have ect. It tells the therapist alot about you by what you bring up and how important certain things are.

MissC23 · 07-14-2009, 12:36 AM

They talk about day to day things to get an idea of what your life is like and what could be triggering the anxiety. I would just ask her for a plan of action or what to expect from your meetings. I wouldn't be completely opposed to medication...esp considering that most people who take anxiety medication only do so temporarily. And if you need to go to another therapist, do! Do whatever is best for you! Best of luck