Your significant other

KatrinaAnne · 06-21-2005, 02:05 AM

To my lovely cysters!

As I am sitting here tonight I can not help to think about all that has changed in my life over the last couple of months. I was diagnosed with PCOS in July of 2002, and wow, it has been quite a journey. I remember before I was diagnosed how I used to cry so very much, because I did not understand what was happening to my body. I could not understand why I was gaining so much weight, why I was not having my period, why I was sprouting hair in unusual places. Then, I finally heard the name, polycystic ovarian syndrome. I remember being sad when I was diagnosed, but also relieved, it was full of so much emotion.

Then, I found soulcysters. Such a wonderful place, with such wonderful people. You girls have helped me through so very much. I love you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. It is so wonderful to have a network of friends who truly care and want to be there for you. It is just so wonderful, thank you.

In addition to all of the symptoms of PCOS I had problems with my self image, I felt so very bad about myself...I still do often, but I have been on a journey of self acceptance. I remember telling myself that I would never meet someone who would accept me for who I was, because in reality, even though it was hard to admit, I was having a hard time accepting myself. I have been on my journey of trying to find self acceptance and self esteem for almost 3 years now- I have not got to where I want to be, but it is a lot better than it was 3 years ago. I used to tell myself I would never allow myself to be loved....because even when I cared for someone I had a hard time getting close...but GIRLS I MET SOMEONE and he is SO VERY GOOD TO ME.

I just have to share this with you...because you all mean so much to me. His name is Salem and he is 26 years old. I met him through some mutual friends. I will never forget how nervous I was on my way over to meet him the first time....actually, the first time I chickened out because I never thought he could like me. But for some reason, I decided the second time that he wanted to meet that I was going to go through with it, and girls, I am sure glad I did. Salem and I have been dating for almost 4 months now...and he knows about my PCOS and all the symptoms...and he accepts me, just for me...just as I accept him just for him. He is so kind and loving and honest and giving...and I know that I am truly blessed. I love the way he smiles at me, or runs his fingers through my hair...and I love the way he says I love you, or laughs at my jokes, and I love the way he says my name...and I have even began letting him touch my chin..this has been hard, but it is something I am working on.

I guess the reason I wanted to write this post is because I always believed I would never allow myself to become involved in a serious relationship because of the symptoms that I dislike about myself and consider flaws...but that truly is no way to live. I mean, if I can accept another person just for being who they are and for what is in their hearts then there are other people out there who are like me and will do the same....I really wanted to write this post because there truly are people out there in the world that will accept you, all of you...and all that you are.......and that person may see what you think is a flaw as being unique or even beautiful...so it is truly worth opening up and sometimes it is true...you just have to be vulnerable and "jump in." One of the cysters on my favorite quote thread wrote she liked the quote about love..."Loving someone is giving them the power to destroy your heart, but trusting they wont," that is truly beautiful and true.....and in an essence we are all vulnerable when we are putting our hearts in another person's hands.

There is someone that is out there for everyone...I truly believe this...sometimes you just have to let yourself be loved. I know I had a problem with this for a very long time...but I am starting to let someone in and I believe he loves me and I love him. I just wanted to share this with you girls, because I have never felt this way before.

Please girls...tell me about your significant others.....or if you do not have one, tell us about the qualities you want in your significant others.

((Hugs))

4jess · 06-21-2005, 02:48 AM

Ain't Love Grand!!!! I once too felt that way about a man....so I married him. Best of luck to you both. Keep the passion and go for it cyster!!!!!!!

PeacefulAngel · 06-21-2005, 03:17 AM

Katrina,
Your post made me smile. I've read your posts for as long as I can remember, and I'm glad to see you so happy. Your Salem seems like a wonderful person and I pray God will bless you both.
My husband and I have been together for 5 very eventful years. We have been through alot and he still loves me and forgives me when I screw up. I found out about PCOS after we got married and it was devestating, although it explained alot. I worked EMS when we got married, and going 7 months or so without a period was a GOOD thing. LOL. He suports me in my quest to be healthy, and my actions that are less than healthy too. I'm blessed beyond measure to have him.
hugs
Julie

Dreaming Wolf · 06-21-2005, 09:50 AM

I'm so happy for you Katrina.

My DH is great, very sensitive and sweet, and has been so supportive through all my medical ordeals (breast cancer scare and the long road to dx of PCOS). He's never once made a nasty comment about my hair or anything else, and he's happy to go by my pace in ttc. It makes such a difference to have that kind of support, I hope all cysters can find someone like him!

curvaceous_angel · 06-21-2005, 10:33 AM

Isn't it great when we can learn to love ourselves and let others love us back?

I have been married to my DH for four years on the 29th of this month, and we have been togeather for 7 years which is pretty amazing considering we met when we were 16 (well he was 15) and married when we were 19. He is the most wonderful man, I couldn't ask for more. He is very supportive in every aspect of my life. It has taken us awhile to get where we are today and we have gone through some pretty rough times but we have made it. I posted about him in GTKY about a week ago, I am just really happy and really blessed to have him in my life. I'm glad that you have found someone, it truly is a wonderful thing.

KatrinaAnne · 06-21-2005, 08:41 PM

Awww girls, thank you so much...I love you girls so much. You all sound like you have wonderful men in your lives, but they also have wonderful women in their lives, because you are all so wonderful.

Thank you so much for sharing in my happiness, I really appreciate it. I hope all of us cysters can find a wonderful man like Salem and the wonderful men in your lives.

I love you girls. ((HUGS))

Thank you for sharing :-)

Armastama · 06-21-2005, 08:49 PM

Katrina!! Congratulations to you, Im so very very happy to hear this news

I dont have a SO, but its ok, Im working towards that on my whirlwind dating spree over the past few years. It has its moments of frustration, elation, doubt, etc.. but most of all Im just happy being "out there" and in control of my love life. I think Im capable of loving and being loved, I just havent found anyone thats worthy of my love just yet, but when I find him wooo doggies, ya'll will see the fireworks no matter where you are on the planet

Your post gave me a humungous smile and I just love the picture of the two of you in your siggie!!! May you two have many more smiles to come in the near future

Jen312 · 06-22-2005, 03:10 AM

Wow, what a great thread...and I do have a wonderful BF who is very supportive of me...

Just curious...Katrina (and all other cysters), do you think it's a good idea to have your and your BF's last names here? The internet is not as "friendly" as we are on here...just for your own safety, that's all. I had something happen to me at my last job...that resulted from a message board (not this one!) and I never posted any personal info about me...just someone was smart enough to put clues together and figured out my identity...right down to my last name. I could have been fired.

ChelNY · 06-22-2005, 02:11 PM

I agree, she may want to edit her sig. You have to be wary of the crazies out there who may lurk here w/o ever posting or having anything to do with pcos.

also, congrats on finding a good guy. they do seem to be few and far between. i met my sweetie 2 and a half years ago. we met via internet (i don't recommend it, but occasionally it works. again, be careful of the crazies out there!!). i think because we're both kinda quiet and shy it would have been hard for us to have ever met in real life, but i'm so glad we found each other. we actually have been to several of the same concerts over the years, but never had actually met. I'm not talking big arena rock concerts, but acoustic bands at the local bar type of thing.

he is so sweet to me. he's intelligent, hardworking, artistic, witty... an amazing guy. i'm a lucky girl!

KatrinaAnne · 06-22-2005, 03:38 PM

AWW GIRLS, thank you so much. You are great friends, you share in my happiness and make me feel so wonderful, I just love you girls.

Also, thank you so much for sharing.....you all seem to have wonderful men in your lives or are looking for wonderful men with important qualities......and that is WONDERFUL, because you are all wonderful, beautiful ladies and deserve the best.

Also, thank you so much for looking out for me, I appreciate that. I seem to be very trusting of people, and you have to be careful, especially now-a-days. I edited my post and my signature and put first names. Thank you for looking out for me, you girls are wonderful.

((HUGS))

amshum · 06-22-2005, 03:50 PM

Katrina your post was absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing! I am so glad you've found someone to love you for who you are. Its such a blessing when that happens.

Most everyone here knows my story, but I just wanted to say that it took me 4 whole months *after* we said "I love you" for the first time to exchange pictures with my BF. It was my fault... I was afraid for him to see me. He knew me well and loved me no matter what, even without seeing what I looked like, but I just couldn't bring myself to send him a picture.

Now we're 1 1/2 years into the relationship. He still loves me and tells me I'm gorgeous. I've been able to experience him in person on two seperate trips and I can tell you... That man loves me. All of me. He looks at me like no other human has EVER looked at me in the past. I am truly blessed.

I'm so happy for you!

CathyWood · 06-22-2005, 06:00 PM

Congrats Kat...wished i saw this a long time ago.

KatrinaAnne · 06-22-2005, 09:01 PM

Aww GIRLS, thank you so much!!!

Whenever I come to this post all I can do is smile...thank you for all being so wonderful.

Cathy- Thank you so much.....I got to tell you all about Salem on AIM....and then you poor thing had to read it again, but thank you so much for being so happy for me.

Amber- Thank you! You are so precious and so sweet...and your boyfriend is right, you are gorgeous!

Thank you so much girls...it means the world to me that I get to share this with you. You are all such great friends.

I love you girls ((HUGS))

amshum · 06-22-2005, 09:07 PM

Aww, thank you Katrina.

KatrinaAnne · 06-22-2005, 09:08 PM

Your so welcome sweetheart.....