...judging me, secretly thinking I'm really a mess.
Don't want her to care about me? Paranoid? Both?
I like her so much, I just don't know how to 'do' treatment with her, I think she is sick of me.
Oh sweetie please dont think your therapist is judging you! Im a social worker (trust me if youve read my posts you'll get the irony - but im damn good at my job - other people problems are my speciality!) so I can say from my own experience that im not there to judge, im there to listen and help. I dont get tired of my clients. Sometimes i wish i had a magic wand so i could make all of their problems go away but it takes hard work. Remember your therapist is there to help you on your journey.
Take care
Kel
__________________ KELLIE
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Diagnosed 1996 Irregular AF - TTC IBS & Reflux Loads of damn hair Hello efexor my old friend......geez we meet again after two years apart!
Remember your therapist is there to help you on your journey.
Take care
Kel
Thanks kellie, I really appreociate you! Sometimes I just get sad when I think she is upset at my decision making, and expects me to be perfect. I am doing the best I can, panic attacks and all. She has reassured me that she really enjoys working with me, that she takes me as one of her kids, I just forget those kind things when I get upset, like I want her to 'save' my arse, and she can't. All sorts of feelings come up when I look up to someone who I wasn't able to look up to in my own immediate family. She went through her own therapy, and says I remind her of herself, a lot of things in common, don't know whether that is good or not so good. I am so sick of thinking so dang much!!!!
I wish I could show you the email I sent her, I just re - read it and I sound so stupid. Really, I get into my moods where I can be ok, and mature, then doubt my existence, and start stinkin' thinkin' in my head what she does or does not think. I realized that maybe she really does know me, and knows when I do get in those moods, that they won't last forever, I don't know.
Yes, it is transference. I knew that, I'm sure she's had a bit of countertransference as well. The session went fantastic today. We talked a lot about what I've written here and something not so good that happened last night. I just told her that I know she is trying to help me knowing that I want to individualize myself. We talked about how I know she is not perfect and that she has bad days too, so no need for me to think she is perfect or a God, she just wants to see me grow. She said I am growing by leaps and bounds, gave me a hug, and just hangs in there with me. Some sessions are better than others and I accept that. I told her I got over some of my insecurities about our therapeutic relationship. She is helping me to validate my feelings, and just go with the positive, and just "be"....
I am truly blessed!
Well that is great news!
Since this thread started I'm obsessing even more about my old therapist, googling her name, thinking about her. It is so weird.
What do you know of transference & counter transference? (there was definitely no counter with my old therapist infact she was quite detached).
This is a good thread you started.
Hey there, transference is what the client projects per say onto the therapist. Their feelings, wishes, fantasies, whatever. CT is the feelings that a therapist gets about their client toward their client, that arise from within them, whether it be about their past their immediate family, feelings, likings, whatever..
Does that make sense? I obsess a little too, and I'm sure they think about us sometimes. I live in the same city as my therapist.
Detached on the therpaist's part is not such a 'bad' thing. They need boundaries, but I know they enjoy some clients better than other clients.
I wish my therapist was a relative, but that will never happen, she is just a very special person in my life.
Goota jet, chow time
Take care
Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Do you know why we have transference?
How long have you being going to your therapist, what do you do there? Do you mind me asking all these questions?
I'm just curious how others operate & how they are going in their therapy sessions?
Just jumping in... I thought too that my therapist was judging me and back away a little and ended up telling him that I felt that way... He encouraged me that he was not in anyway...
Since telling him, everything is going so well with our sessions...
Good luck...
__________________ Me: 34 H: 34
DD: Rachel - Born March 6th, 2007
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Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Do you know why we have transference?
How long have you being going to your therapist, what do you do there? Do you mind me asking all these questions?
I'm just curious how others operate & how they are going in their therapy sessions?
I believe that we have transference in therapy b/c we're going in there with a person who cannot be our friend, is not related to us, who we dont live with, etc., and kind of 'use' them as a pawn (NOT in a bad way) to practice how we act towards others in our RL. (for example - I was able to tell her something that I wouldn't tell anyone else, right now anyway) You know what I mean?
Our relationship with our therapist, imo, really reflects how we feel about possibly our mothers (if you see a female therapist), or how we interact and react in our relationships, among other issues we go to therapy for.
It is so hard to explain.
I've been seeing my therapist since Aug. 2005, she does EMDR, CBT, and talk therapy, it's helping....
HTH
Catwoman - it is so nice to find a therapist who truly is a good, honest, caring person. What's so funny, is that I realized that I am so used to my mother criticizing SO harshly, and controlling. My best just was never good enough. With my therapist, I am learning that my best is all I can do! And I'm doing it.
is your therapist a God? 
